MUSIC TO AVOID A POETRY READING
There was to be a poetry reading, a gathering of the poets, but as night crept on I couldn’t get my hair together I couldn’t get my hair.
1. Soul of Fire / Witch
I’ve seen the serpent, I’ve seen the spirit, and they both said: Never read longer than 12 minutes.
2. Sookie Now / Big K.R.I.T.
To be a romantic poet, say sookie sookie now 30x fast into a crockpot filled with diamonds.
3. Playaz Club / Rappin’ 4-Tay
Poetry is the oven mitt on a pimp hand.
4. Swishas and Erb / UGK
Swishas is a trochee. Cadillac is a dactyl. Bun B is a spondee.
5. Go To Hell / Raphael Saadiq
To complete this poem you will need to conduct a small exploration of death. Choose a death that reflects your own special interests and/or expertise.
6. Scared of Monsters / Curren$y
I don’t believe in monsters, but I believe in silence.
7. Love Like a Fountain / Ian Brown
You weren’t reading fast enough so I crashed a rave in the clock across the street. When you finally finished, you asked me where I got that glow.
8. Now You’re Gone / Curtis Mayfield
Cried hard on the telephone ‘cause a poem wouldn’t come home with me.
9. Church for Thugs / The Game
Sometimes when I go to a poetry reading I think about getting shot.
10. Dope Boy Magic / Yung Joc
Poetry will get you rich as you wanna be— if that’s 3 cents an hour.
11. Naked Pictures (of Your Mother) / Electric Six
I might like you better if we just sat quietly together.
12. Soul Train / Link Wray & His Ray Men
The soul train goes to Buffalo ‘cause Charles Bernstein taught there.
13. Getting Nasty / Ike Turner & The Kings of Rhythm
Been doing lines of poems in the morning. I need help.
14. Insanely Jealous / The Soft Boys
Spent the month of February living inside your poem, trying on dresses and forgetting equanimity.
15. I Am a Cliche / X-ray Spex
Guns don’t kill people. MFAs kill people.
–Melissa Broder is the author of two collections of poems, MEAT HEART and WHEN YOU SAY ONE THING BUT MEAN YOUR MOTHER. Recent poems appear in Guernica, Court Green, Redivider, The Missouri Review, et al. She edits La Petite Zine. By day she is a publicity manager at Penguin.