3 Min Food

1. The glowy red den of Matchless’s stage. 2. Nicole, a teacher, and Chichi Wang, who writes for Serious Eats, and read us the intro from her new book (which is almost finished! She’s on the last chapter).

Greenpoint’s Matchless Bar was the scene for anyone with ADD and/or an abbreviated attention span’s favorite reading series, Vol. 1’s “Greatest Three-Minute” stories. This series features fifteen different writers, reading for — yes — three minutes on a specific topic. Last night’s topic was food, which made sense considering that yesterday was 4/20 and also the middle of Passover. As people migrated into the back room from the bar (with impossibly slow bartender), the room went from crowded to packed.

1. Juliet Linderman, who works for Vol. 1, and Stephanie Anderson, who Jason Diamond said was “arguably the most important person in the room” because she manages WORD books. 2. Reader Stephanie Klose, who writes for Serious Eats and read us a story about how she doesn’t actually like being in a CSA, and Vol. 1’s Tobias Carroll.

Highlights from the fifteen readers!

Caitlin McRae wrote an open letter to OkCupid users in the greater New York area entitled “What We Talk About When We Talk About Tacos.” If you want to know what the hell she’s talking about, go on to OKC. Click on pretty much anyone’s profile, and see what it says about tacos/burritos/“being good at Mexican food.”

Tobias Carroll read a story about going to SXSW in 2006 as a recently converted omnivore who looked forward to eating some tasty animals. Unfortunately, he is also “cripplingly shy” and is therefore incapable of asking for help when confronted with a new type of animal. This led to things like eating crawfish with the shells on.

1. Rayna, a photographer/artist/Nick girlfriend, and the evening’s co-host, Nick Curley. 2. Reader Tommy Pico, who read a story with a really long title that said something about sucking dick, and was the second story of the evening to take place at SXSW, and his friend Niqui.

Adam Lustick told a story about more-or-less raping his best friend in college with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s mint chip, while horribly stoned.

James Boo told us that he refused to eat anything that tasted like butt. He said that he could immediately identify the taste of butt, despite never having actually tasted it. This statement prompted a “REALLY?!” from the audience. I guess no assplay goes on in Boo’s bedroom.

Jami Attenberg read a section from her novel The Middlesteins, which features a big-boned girl. Or rather, “big-boned, my ass. That girl just loves to eat.” As always, lovely, hypnotic prose.

1. MMM Threeway Handshake! Readers Aaron Lefkove & CAB Fredericks, with co-host Jason Diamond.

Emily Gould told us about her favorite food writer, Laurie Colwin, and also exceeded her “air quota” (“I coined that,” Gould said). Colwin is full of love for inelegant foods, chatty advice, and humor, but she also expresses the “real goal of cooking: contentment.” Confession: I just ordered Colwin’s essay collection Home Cooking: A Writer in the Kitchen.

Stephanie Anderson shared her recipe for a ramen sandwich, which was, she says, the only good thing to come out of her freshman year in college. The recipe included Gatorade (for the electrolytes!), pinching packets of ramen to make sure they’re not broken the way you might pinch a nipple through a thin t-shirt, and then licking the ramen til it glistens.

The reading was effective: afterward, my date and I hungrily walked to Bedford Avenue for some dinner.

–Julia Jackson is working on her MFA in fiction at Brooklyn College, and is a regular contributor for Electric Dish.