Ted Wilson Reviews the World: Goodbye, Vitamin


Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of the world. Today I am reviewing Goodbye, Vitamin.

The rejection of modern medicine has been in vogue lately, like the anti-vaccination movement or the lesser known practice of putting other people’s poop in your butt — an idea thrust into the mainstream with this scene from Miranda July’s Me and You and Everyone We Know:

For this reason I had assumed Rachel Khong’s Goodbye, Vitamin to be a pro-scurvy manifesto, and I was excited to see what benefits a lack of vitamins might offer. It turns out Goodbye, Vitamin isn’t about that at all, according to the blurbs on the dust jacket. And once I have time to sit down and read the book, I will update this review.

For now, I will tell you everything else you need to know about the book. It’s by author Rachel Khong, who has pretty amazing teeth. I’m guessing they are either digitally altered or she lost them all as a child, and what I’m seeing is the result of many hours spent with a top-tier orthodontist. They’re great teeth!

Typically an author’s appearance is irrelevant, but Ms. Khong’s teeth were such a distraction I stared at them for over an hour, and was only able to look away when I blacked one out with a marker.

Now if you’re a lemon fan, you’re going to love this book. There are lemons all over the cover! And if lemons aren’t your thing, there’s another version of the book with a banana on the cover. If you don’t like lemons or bananas, I suggest removing the dust jacket and drawing your preferred fruit on the book itself. You can draw a durian or whatever.

Currently the book is only available in hardcover, but the cover isn’t that hard to tear off if you want to save a little space on your bookshelf. Unfortunately what is hard to do is to tear off the cover without also utterly destroying the rest of the book. I ended up having to buy a second copy.

If you’re no sold yet, famous person Khloé Kardashian recommended Goodbye, Vitamin, and that’s more than enough for me. Is it a coincidence that Khloé and Ms. Khong share the same KH consonant pairing, or is it a subtle clue that they are actually the same person? I have no way of knowing and neither do you. Not every mystery needs to be solved.

BEST FEATURE: This book reminded me to buy vitamins.
WORST FEATURE: If you drop the book on the floor it is very likely to spill open to the end and ruin the ending for you.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing milk.


About the Author

More Like This

A Victorian Novelist Attempts To Write Queer Characters Without Getting Censored

They were simply good friends! Barely even friends. They had never met, actually.

Sep 6 - Colin Heasley

Everything We Learned About Women’s Anatomy from Male Authors

Wait, you think women keep their credit cards WHERE?

Aug 2 - Jess Zimmerman

6 Literary Party Games for Your Next Salon

Finally, classic games have been reinvented with writers in mind

Aug 2 - Halimah Marcus