Ted Wilson Reviews the World: Milton Glaser

★★★★★ (5 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of the world. Today I am reviewing Milton Glaser.

Everyone knows Milton Glaser, even if they don’t know him. He’s the designer who created the iconic I ♥ NY logo, as well as countless others. See? You do know him. Some people know him even better because they are his friends or family members or dentist.

I don’t know Milton personally, so I hope he doesn’t mind me calling him by his first name. Despite being named Milton, he’s found great success and is one of the most celebrated graphic designers in the world. I’m celebrating him right now with an ice cream cake I bought at Walgreens.

While I’m not entirely sure what graphic designers do other than make logos and Powerpoint presentations, I know that what Milton has done is make me smile when I see his work. I can’t always tell which work is his because he never signs it, so I try to smile whenever I see any logo at all. Just in case.

My fear is that one day I won’t smile at a logo and it will be one of Milton’s and he will happen to be standing behind me and then he’ll think I hate his logo because I didn’t smile. Graphic designers must get their feelings hurt a lot when people don’t like their work. Milton has been a designer for decades so he’s probably used to having his feelings hurt.

Beyond his design work, I don’t know anything about Milton. I don’t know if he’s tall or short, alive or dead, or how much he can bench press. Milton, if you’re reading this, please call me at (617) 379–2576. I have a lot of questions.

My first question is are you looking for an apprentice? I’m a quick learner and have a passion for knowledge. I do not have a lot of relevant work experience so I created this logo for you to show you what I can do. I made it using Microsoft Word and it only took me a couple of hours. You can have it for free. (I couldn’t figure out how to add color. Sorry.)

If you would like me to provide references, most of my former employers have passed away but the grandson of my old boss at the insurance company is still alive and said he would be happy to be a reference. His name is Roger and I think he’s in the phone book. Thank you for your consideration and I hope to hear from you soon.

BEST FEATURE: Milton’s last name has the word ‘laser’ in it!
WORST FEATURE: Milton is going to die one day and will no longer be able to graphic design anything.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing a used cleaver I found in the woods.

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