Ted Wilson Reviews the World: Scott Bayo

★☆☆☆☆ (1 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of the world. Today I am reviewing Scott Bayo.

The name Scott Bayo is a name you’re probably pretty sure you think sounds familiar. That’s because he played Fonzie’s sidekick Tchotchke in the hit series Happy Days. He later played an orphan whose adopted family abandoned him and gave him to another family in the show Charles in Charge, which was less of a hit because Fonzie never appeared. People loved Fonzie.

After falling off the radar for several decades, Scott was allowed by Fonzie to have a cameo appearance in the groundbreaking show Arrested Development. Just as things seemed to be going good for Scott, his career really jumped the shark.

He began garnering attention by voicing his admiration for a severely mentally ill man named Donald Trump. A lot of people gave Scott flak, but I have to admire someone who is humble enough to believe he is beneath the mentally ill.

Overall, Scott Bayo’s career has been as sparse and inconsistent as the facial hair sprinkled across his face. I don’t know what he’s spent most of his life doing. His life has been kind of like the universe. It’s mostly just an empty mystery.

In his youth he was handsome for a boy with no lips, but now he’s just okay. That happens to a lot of people with or without lips, especially the ones who don’t get plastic surgery. I would hate to see what I would look like if I’d never gotten any plastic surgery.

I can’t really remember what Scott’s voice sounds like or what kinds of expressions he can make. Probably all the normal ones like anyone else. All I can really remember is that Fonzie was really nice to him. I love Fonzie.

BEST FEATURE: His beautiful feathered hair.
WORST FEATURE: The heartbreak I feel when I look at him.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing mud.

TED WILSON REVIEWS THE WORLD: THE WRITING JOB I TURNED DOWN