Authors Guild Dinner: Good news for struggling writers

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Last night the Authors Guild Dinner was held at the Edison Ballroom, an art deco hall off Times Square fit for Baz Luhrmann. Guests gathered on the balcony for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres (the bacon-wrapped scallops won my unscientific taste test) before heading downstairs for dinner.

After welcome remarks by Authors Guild Foundation President Sidney Offit and Authors Guild President Scott Turow, our host for the evening, author and comedian Andy Borowitz, took the stage. “Phillip Roth and me, people like that, were sitting around trying to come up with a theme for tonight,” he said, adding that ideas like “Amazon is trying to kill us” were bandied about, but everyone agreed that the evening needed good news. The good news for struggling writers, apparently, is in greeting cards. Did you know that Maya Angelou wrote for Hallmark? (It’s true, I Googled it.)

And thus Mr. Borowitz presented a few possible cards from well-known authors:

Samuel Taylor Coleridge:
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
a Stately pleasure-dome decree:
but since I don’t make that kind of dough,
here’s a Christmas card me.

Dylan Thomas:
Do not go gentle into that good night,
old age should burn and rave at close of day;
rage, rage against the dying of the light,
and have a happy Mother’s Day.

Geoffery Chaucer:
Whan that April with his showres soote
The droughte of March hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veine in swich licour,
It’s just five months till Yum Kippur.

Needless to say, laughter drowned out the sound of forks clinking against plates (a choice of red snapper or steak). For more information about the Authors Guild, including mission, history, and services, visit

– Halimah Marcus is the Co-Editor of Electric Literature. Find her on twitter @HalimahMarcus

Photos by Beowulf Sheehan.

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