Donald Trump as the Next U.S. Poet Laureate?

Donald Trump has a reputation for confusing and bewildering speeches. Humorist Hart Seely argues that this is what makes Trump so fascinating. And, apparently, what makes him a poet. Seely has dug through Trump’s speeches and statements going all the way back to the 1980’s to compile a book of almost 200 poems, all created out of direct quotes from Trump. Here’s a taste from “Freedom Tower”:

I.

Worst pile of crap
Architecture
I’ve ever seen.

II.

The terrorists win.
It’s that bad.

The book is titled Bard of the Deal: The Poetry of Donald Trump, and will be in bookstores from December 15. For $15.99, it’s a great Christmas present for Trump haters and lovers alike.

Seely says he is no poetry expert, but he spent six weeks combing through material for the poetry book. “I’ve spent way too much time thinking about Trump. He’s clearly a brilliant man. He goes to all of these speeches and talks about how smart he is, though.” Seely went on to say that Trump’s ego would eat him alive, were he to become president. But perhaps that’s what makes him poet? On that note, here are his musings on criticism:

It’s best to avoid criticizing anyone.
Compliments work better,
And sometimes silence is
The best form of criticism available.

I’ve known people who have said
Bad things to and about me
Who cannot take criticism themselves.
Most people are one-way streets.

And it’s better not to spend your time
Dodging head-on traffic.
If you stay silent, people will eventually
Make fools of themselves without your help.

About the Author

More Like This

From Here Your Future Looks Very Small

"The Day is a Manhole" and "Birds in Space," two poems by Hillery Stone

Aug 26 - Hillery Stone

7 Debut Collections That Continue the Lineage of Queer Poetry

This fall, a new wave of poets redefine the meanings of identity, experience, and desire

Aug 20 - Christina Orlando

After All These Months My Hair Is Still in Your Drain

"Slough" and "Spooky Action at a Distance," two poems by Kristen Steenbeeke

Aug 12 - Kristen Steenbeeke