Personal Narrative

Protected: I Need to Know How I Forgot I Wanted to Die

Electroconvulsive therapy caused me to lose memories, including how I stopped having suicidal intent

Photo by Getty Images on Unsplash

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About the Author

Erica Dawson is the author of three books of poetry: When Rap Spoke Straight to God (Tin House, 2018), winner of the 2018 Florida Book Awards Gold Medal for Poetry; The Small Blades Hurt (Measure Press, 2014), winner of the 2016 Poets’ Prize; and, Big-Eyed Afraid (Waywiser Press, 2007), winner of the 2006 Anthony Hecht Poetry Prize. Her poems have appeared in Blackbird, Orion, Revel, The Believer, The Common, Virginia Quarterly Review, and other journals. A two-time Pushcart Prize winner, her poems have appeared in numerous anthologies, including Best American Poetry, Resistance, Rebellion, Life: 50 Poets Now, and American Society: What Poets See. Her essays and criticism have been published by The Paris Review’s “The Daily,” The Rumpus, Ecotone, and other venues. She has been featured on PBS Newshour and in The New York Times Magazine. She lives in the Baltimore-DC area.

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