JUNE MIX by Muumuu House
TAO LIN: I asked people who’ve been published by Muumuu House to send me a song about suicide. Here is most of what they sent me.
“It’s October and I’m Running Through My Neighborhood”
Feel like there should be more songs/bands that incorporate self-pitying blogging references. Untapped demographic.
This is a translated version of the “Hungarian Suicide Song” sung by Billie Holiday. Two verses were added to the end to make the song less bleak.
Beaten many times by Johnson and suffering from severe depression, his wife committed suicide, shooting herself with a revolver. It was then that Johnson began to write seriously, and soon after began writing “Better Together.”
“How To Save A Life” — The Fray.
This song, like all great music, is by The Fray. It’s about trying to use words to stop a person from killing himself but then it doesn’t work and the person dies. I first heard it on Scrubs, which, like all great television, stars Zach Braff. I love Zach Braff. My goal in writing is to mirror his acting, more than anything I want my work to feel quirky.
“Philippians 3:20–21” — The Mountain Goats
In an interview, John Darnielle said that he wrote this song as a reaction to David Foster Wallace’s suicide. He described it as an ‘angry-at-God’ sort of thing. It feels pleasing to me that this song is about having negative feelings towards ‘God’ on behalf of a depressed person who commit suicide. I like how John Darnielle is able to express anger/indignation in a way that feels almost neutral or resigned. Listening to this song makes me feel vaguely uneasy in a way that i really enjoy.
“Did You Disappoint Your God?”
Seems ‘100% “on point,”’ lyrically and musically, re: certain emotions I’ve previously felt, and gets ‘stuck in my head’ ~3–17 times/week, I think, while feeling [aforementioned emotions].
I’ve frequently heard this song while driving or riding passanger in my friend Ziggy’s Nissan “Juke” while feeling varying degrees of ‘I want to kill myself,’ ‘I don’t want to kill myself,’ and ‘I don’t know how to talk to anyone.’
ANDREW JAMES WEATHERHEAD
“If You Don’t Love Me (I’ll Kill Myself)” — Pete Droge
This song is from the Dumb & Dumber soundtrack.
“Reality” — Fat Pat (from album Ghetto Dreams)
I think one time I tweeted some time between 1 and 7 am that if I ever had a grand opening for a candy store or if I hung myself I would like this song to be playing on loop in whatever room that happened in. Maybe it’s the fake raindrop noises in the beat or all the tinkling against the synth or how deep Fat Pat’s voice is, particularly when he is singing kind of messed up from how a normal person sings, I don’t know. Still seems true to me tonight at 7:46 pm, though.
“Weightless Again” — The Handsome Family
Something about using the brand name Slice in a song with suicidal sentiments is genius.
“Priests and Paramedics” — Pedro the Lion
The last two lines are hard to work your mind past, as a living thing.
“she drives me crazy” — “the fine young cannibals”
i’m writing mine about the song “she drives me crazy” by “the fine young cannibals.” i just heard it so i picked it. not sure if it’s about suicide but i put some notes near the lyrics of the song where it might be hinting at suicide (lyrics in italics, thoughts in parentheses):
I can’t stop the way I feel… (perhaps hinting at not being able to stop feeling like killing one’s self?)
She drives me crazy (perhaps crazy enough to kill one’s self?)
and I can’t help myself (from perhaps killing yourself?)
I can’t get any rest People say I’m obsessed (with suicide perhaps?)
She drives me crazy
Like no one else
She drives me crazy
And I can’t help myself I won’t make it,
On my own
No on likes,
To be alone (so why not kill commit suicide perhaps?)
“Suicide (A Better Way)” — Choking Victim
I heard this on a ska-punk compilation in ~1999. I assumed it was about not killing yourself because all the songs on the compilation seemed very positive. I later learned its message was that suicide was a viable option. I think there’s lyrics in this song that go “there is no better way / to kill yourself / than suicide.” It was the only “negative” song on the compilation, I think.
“tourniquet” — evanescence
this song was on my friend’s xanga in the ~7th grade
“suicide” — the damned
seems like the most obvious song about suicide i can think of. lyrics are simple and i understand them. heard this song when i was like 12 or something and thought ‘this is my future, this is what will happen one day’.
— Muumuu House is a publisher of writing online and in print.