Bigfoot on the Beach

Morning again. The sand fleas were bad. But everything else here, the breeze, the good rough smell of the sea air, the way daylight wakes you slowly, was better than the forest. He stretched his massive arms, feeling his shoulder muscles expand against the sand, then groggily stood up to check out what the waves were up to today.

It was flat. Low tide. The water was licked with imminent sun.

He was readying himself to run toward it, to feel the cool black current, laced with stars, rinse the fleas from his fur, when he saw it —

A cluster of humans sitting in the sand.

He got down low, then peered up slowly, scanning through the blades of salt hay to discover that there were droves of them, little clusters of silhouettes dotted up and down the beach. Some of them surrounding small pits of orange fire.

What were they doing out this early?

Usually, the crowds, with their brightly-colored shade-makers and folding seat contraptions and rectangular mats and round balls and heavy boxes full of ice, didn’t arrive until late morning, at the earliest. It takes time to move such artillery.

He had a pang of missing Littlefoot and Mediumfoot, and all their artillery (banana peels, walnut shells, vine hammocks, bamboo husks), so he tried to diffuse it by looking back at the water. Its swirls of silver were just beginning to settle his nerves, when he noticed that one of the silhouettes, a tiny one, was looking in his direction. Her finger rising up toward him.

He dove back toward his nest, crouching low in the sand. He wasn’t too worried about them coming for him yet, a child the only one who seemed to have spotted him — and who believes a child?

But still. Why on earth were they here? He had a bad feeling.

Not only was it dawn, it was winter. Usually the only humans you got this time of year were the ones who wore dark bodysuits, who lumbered into the freezing water with big white boards upon which they tried, time and time again, to stand. Those ones never noticed him. He could walk out onto the sand entirely exposed, and they would mistake him for one of their kind, his fur looking like their bodysuits from that distance, if they noticed him at all. It looked fun, trying to stand on the water. He sometimes dreamt of swimming out to one and using his eyes and gestures to ask to borrow their board. He had a feeling, a hunch, he’d be good at riding it, knowing just when to stand, when to bend. But he knew that it was probably too grave a risk. Humans, even the ones so in love with the waves they seemed more peaceful than the rest, couldn’t help their natures.

He’d always wondered why his kind bothered them so. They seemed perfectly content with deer, with squirrels and raccoons coexisting alongside them. What was it about his species that riled them up so? He was almost entirely vegetarian, liked a good termite nest, if he could find one, the piquant crunch of a fire ant, but that was basically it. He would never dream of trying to consume mammalian flesh. The thought made him sick. He wanted only their friendship, or, less than that, a benevolent disregard, neighborliness. But they were never content to leave him be. The few times he’d been spotted, his presence had always brought screams, then the raising of objects — cameras, spears, nets, guns — which one, depended on the human. The bullet wound in his lower leg still ached most days, all these years later.

Sigh. He figured his only course of action was to crawl a half mile or so low in the dunes and make his way to the water once he was further from the hoards.

He was just about to sit up, to heave himself forward to begin the four legged crawl through the grass, when the tiny human appeared on the top of the dune. For an instant, before he registered her oddly tangy, chemical smell, he pictured it was Littlefoot. Poised high on a branch, about to bound on to his chest — their favorite game… Why had he left them? The answer wasn’t simple. He had come to feel encumbered by it all. The gathering, scraping, chewing everything for everyone. Finishing just in time to start it all again.

After leaving, he had initially tried living in the woods, a few woods over from their woods, but the branches were too dangerous, hung too thickly with memories. He’d find himself yearning. For the soft plunks of Littefoot, the gentle crackling of twigs as Mediumfoot sat nursing under a tree. A dangerous force, this yearning, for he knew, if he gave into it, it would pull him back to a life he did not want.

The foreignness of the beach, its flatness, its lack of trees, its waves, even its sand fleas, was his best protection. He was safe here, as long as he had those waves. Every morning rinsing off the memories that had accumulated overnight.

The tiny creature had drawn near. Her smells of vanilla, of cucumber, were overpowering. “Hi,” she whispered, waving her furless little hand.

Though he had no idea what the word meant, he grunted back, “Hunph.”

“Are you here to see the sunrise?” she asked.

Again, he could not understand the question, though he noted its tones of curiosity. He gestured at his nest. “My home,” he said, which came out like, “Hunnn, hun, hun. Hn hn.”

“It was my mom’s idea,” said the girl. “She came up with it a few weeks ago. She said we should all stay up late to watch the ball drop on TV, and then get up early and drive to the beach so that we’d be the first Americans to witness the dawning of the New Year! My dad said, ‘Well, technically, there are some beaches in Maine that are further East, who would see it before us.’ And my mom said, ‘Arg. Why do you have to rain on my parade?’ And my dad said, ‘Not trying to be mean! Just stating the facts.’ And my mom sighed and got gloomy. But they still woke us up this morning. It was pitch dark, and I was confused at first so they let all of us stay in our jammies, and we’ve just been sitting in blankets on the sand, waiting, waiting. Mom says it’s gonna be beautiful. A fresh start. Dad says it’s gonna look like an over-easy egg, cracking over the waves. Mom said we could go out for pancakes after! But dad worried nothing would be open on New Year’s Day. Or, that for those few places that were open, the lines would be too long. And mom said, ‘For chrissakes wasn’t your new years resolution to be more hopeful, Bill?’”
The girl got quiet, conspiratorial, whispered in Bigfoot’s ear, “Bill is my dad’s name.”

Bigfoot adored this. Being chatted with. He had no idea the meaning of any of her words but believed he could register the emotions beneath them. Namely, that she was confortable with him. He put his massive black palm out toward her.

Impossibly, she rested her tiny white starfish of a hand upon it.

The contact, he was helpless against it. He was awash in Littlefoot. In his divine, loamy smell. The memories swirling into him — the piggy back rides, the walnut fights, the time Bigfoot had defended them from bees, little bastards. The honey he had extracted from the hive, amber liquid dripping off his finger, and into Littlefoot’s mouth. Littlefoot’s copper eyes, warming wide. He wondered, dared to wonder, how old Littlefoot was now. Nearly a year, up to his shin, surely. How Mediumfoot would have been faring, without him around to gather food. Then he was slammed by a horrific image. Something he felt sure was the truth. Both of them dead. Eyes picked out by vultures, rib cages protruding from the forest floor, dangling with bits of meat and matted hair.

He took the tiny human into the crook of his elbow and lifted her to his chest. She giggled and reached her arms around his neck, her little fingers twisting and pulling at his fur in clumps. The warmth of her, the size of her, so like Littlefoot. He hugged her close.

She said, “uuuf.” Then, “ow.”

And he understood this to mean hold tighter. He complied. Hugging tighter and tighter, her breathing becoming labored, gruntlike, just like his.

He could feel it, her warmth, her breath, breathing life back into the skeletal images of Littlefoot, of Mediumfoot. An illusion, he knew, but a great one. Their skin plumping up nice, their fur prickling back into thick, shiny coats, their eyes alighting with gold. He hugged tighter and tighter until the wriggling in the creature’s limbs had stopped entirely. Till there was no more warmth to squeeze out.

He let the husk of her body flop to the sand and began his slow, achy crawl to those merciful waves, the hoots and cheers of humans resounding from just over the dunes.

About the Author

Lulu Miller is a Peabody award-winning journalist for National Public Radio. She is the Co-founder of NPR’s Invisibilia, a show about the invisible forces that shape human behavior. Before that, she was a reporter on the NPR Science Desk, and a founding producer of WYNC’s Radiolab. She lives in Charlottesville, Virginia, with her wife and dog and writes stories when they are sleeping.

These 8 Books are Fiction, but Climate Change is Not

Fiction allows us to extrapolate our own futures, both on a personal level and on a societal one. With the Trump administration looking to make it easier to dig for fossil fuels and ignoring evidence of global warming, climate change has once again taken a prime position in the news, and the need for cautionary tales about the environmental path we’re on seems more important than ever. Here’s a look at eight books that explore the dangers of climate change to both landscapes close to home and on a global level.


The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi

Paolo Bacigalupi’s The Windup Girl features a number of high concepts, each of which might be enough for a gripping read. Its setting is one in which global warming has suffused the landscape, reshaping the boundaries of nations and altering the way humans live. Genetic engineering has undergone massive leaps forward, as has energy technology; the result is a work that’s both cautionary and dazzling.

Gold Fame Citrus by Claire Vaye Watkins

The Californian landscape of Claire Vaye Watkins’s heady, haunting novel Gold Fame Citrus is punctuated by abandoned homes, strange fauna, and a resurgence of the desert. It’s a setting that’s drawn from the present day: where once the homes of the affluent existed, a wasteland has sprawled, off-limits to all but the bravest or most desperate. It’s a bold commentary on where our society might end up, and how certain trends might accelerate into something hazardous and inhospitable.

Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor

Climate change can affect as many landscapes as exist on Earth. In Nnedi Okorafor’s novel Who Fears Death, the setting is sub-Saharan Africa at some point in the future. The societies depicted in this book live in the wake of an earlier, more technologically advanced one, which crumbled at some point in their past and our future. What remains is an altered world and terrain, populated by a handful of people possessing uncanny abilities.

The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell

David Mitchell’s The Bone Clocks encompasses the bulk of the life of its protagonist, beginning with her childhood in the recent past, and moving forward into the middle of the 21st century. It’s in this last section that the novel becomes truly devastating: as a result of environmental and economic collapse, society has reverted to a sort of brutal feudalism. It’s an unnerving conclusion largely due to the realism and level of detail with which Mitchell conveys this world; we see it in all of its unsettling dimensions.

The Drowned World by J.G. Ballard

The novels of J.G. Ballard frequently use transformed versions of the world as their settings–sometimes to accentuate thematic points, and sometimes to explore the uncanny. (The Day of Creation focuses on a new river emerging near the Sahara, while The Crystal World focuses on a terrifying transformation of the landscape.) The Drowned World is set in a future where polar ice has melted, submerging existing coastlines and reshaping urban geographies around the globe.

Age of Blight by Kristine Ong Muslim

The title of this collection references a moment in human history when certain societal tendencies will have advanced past the point of salvaging. In other words: what happens when the surface of the planet is entirely blighted, and what will the events have been that got us there? Muslim’s stories not only explore the means by which the environment is degraded and remade, but also delve into the psychology of alienation that causes such actions to take place.

Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

The meanings of metaphors shift over time. When Kurt Vonnegut’s novel Cat’s Cradle was first published in 1963, its central MacGuffin–a substance called ice-nine, which would turn water into ice at any temperature–came off as a metaphor for nuclear weapons. As a story about human technology with the potential to irrevocably break the world, it now could just as easily be read as a cautionary tale about climate change, with none of its power lost.

Rubicon Beach by Steve Erickson

Steve Erickson’s novels all tap into their own surreal energy, whether they’re spinning tales of parallel timelines or returning to motifs of lost and destroyed structures. In his early novel Rubicon Beach, Erickson opts for a familiar setting, Los Angeles, but imagines that city in the not-so-distant future, when cataclysmic events have resulted in flooding of the city. The portrait of an urban space after such a transformation is one of the most haunting aspects of this unpredictable novel.

11 of the Best Love Letters in Literature, Both Fictional and Not

Somewhere in my childhood bedroom lurks an old Nine West shoe box brimming with love letters scrawled on craggy college-ruled paper. In high school, when my interest in the day’s physics or math lesson would inevitably wane, I’d turn the page in my notebook and write my then boyfriend hormone-fueled rants about my unparalleled love for him, and occasionally, in what may be a Joycean hallmark (minus the farts, see #11), the things I wanted to do with him. We traded these missives back and forth at our lockers, which amounted to hundreds of inside-joke riddled professions of young love.

Once, to our mutual horror, my dad found a stray note while cleaning out the trunk of his car. That day, I learned an important lesson about privacy and secure backpack zippers. But after a mortifying conversation, I emerged with the upper-hand, admonishing him for having the audacity to read a letter so obviously not for him. Polite company (excluding dads) know better than to read others’ private exchanges.

In literature, we are offered a rare, perhaps singular invitation into such intimate correspondences. Whether the following love letters are artfully penned in a novel, memoir, or the anthologies of long-dead greats — these 11 vulnerable glimpses into the besotted human-id are all-consuming reads.


Persuasion by Jane Austen

The reconciliation letter

When I polled friends and coworkers about this assignment, for good reason, the prevailing response fell along the lines of: “Include Persuasion, duh.”

In Jane Austen’s final, posthumously published novel, Persuasion, the heroine Anne Elliot was convinced (or some would say, persuaded) by her godmother, Lady Russell, to call off her teenage engagement to the impecunious Frederick Wentworth. Fast-forward almost a decade later, and the two reconnect via the typical Austen scaffolding of events, and it’s revealed that they’ve never truly forgotten each other.

After overhearing a conversation in which Anne argues that men move on more swiftly from their past loves, Wentworth counters her claim with one of the most highly regarded love notes in all of literature:

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F. W.

Letters to Vera by Vladimir Nabokov, edited and translated by Brian Boyd and Olga Voronina

The love-dumb husband letter

In 2014, Knopf published a meticulously annotated compilation of 50+ years of correspondence between Vladimir Nabakov and his beloved wife, Vera. Although the couple had their share of obstacles (infidelity, to name one), the letters demonstrate an abiding love capable of overcoming even the most treacherous of threats (Nazi persecution, another).

In an uncharacteristic moment, Nabokov found himself at a loss of words while trying to articulate just how much he adored his wife:

My tenderness, my happiness, what words can I write for you? How strange that although my life’s work is moving a pen over paper, I don’t know how to tell you how I love, how I desire you. Such agitation — and such divine peace: melting clouds immersed in sunshine — mounds of happiness. And I am floating with you, in you, aflame and melting — and a whole life with you is like the movement of clouds, their airy, quiet falls, their lightness and smoothness, and the heavenly variety of outline and tint — my inexplicable love. I cannot express these cirrus-cumulus sensations.

The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje

The final words letter

Before the English patient sustained the burn-injuries that rendered him amnesic in an Italian hospital, he was an explorer in the Sahara Desert who fell in with another man’s wife, Katharine. At the heart of Michael Ondaatje historiographic metafiction masterpiece is this torrid affair, which ends in high melodrama when Katharine’s husband, Geoffrey, attempts a three-way murder-suicide. The English patient and Katharine survive, and find shelter in a cave. When the English patient leaves to seek help, Katharine writes him a final goodbye as she withers away in the cold, echoing darkness.

The 1992 Booker Award-winning novel was adapted for the silver-screen — watch the tearjerking performance accompanied by a tasteful amount of sad-piano below:

The Letters of Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf, edited by Louise De Salvo and Mitchell Leaska

The desperate adulteress

Say what you will about the morality of affairs, but damn do they inspire some impassioned writing. Vita Sackville-West and Virginia Woolf began a covert-ish relationship in the mid 1920’s, and IMHO, the world is better for it because it inspired Woolf’s satirical, gender-bending novel, Orlando. The collection of these lovers’ letters are evidence that she had superb material to work from.

Here’s a selection pulled from the Paris Review:

From Sackville-West to Woolf

Milan [posted in Trieste]
Thursday, January 21, 1926

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your un-dumb letters, would never write so elementary phrase as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel it. And yet I believe you’ll be sensible of a little gap. But you’d clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it would lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this — But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

Please forgive me for writing such a miserable letter.

V.

Les Liaisons dangereuses (Dangerous Liasons) by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos

The love is a battlefield letter

In Pierre Choderlos de Laclos’ 1782 French epistolary novel, the principle characters Marquise de Merteuil and the Vicomte de Valmont are arch nemeses and ex-lovers who wield their inimitable letter writing skills as weapons of manipulation. The book is comprised solely of letters written back and forth between various characters.

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The fifty-year correspondence

Love in the Time of Cholera follows the diverging lives of childhood sweethearts Florentino Ariza and Fermina Daza. Florentino first catches a glimpse of Fermina when he delivers a telegraph to her father, and from there it’s fated that the young postal worker and beautiful girl should start their own passionate correspondence. He goes home and toils over a letter, which soon transforms into a sixty-page “dictionary of compliments” declaring his admiration for her. After he hands her the tome, he waits for what feels like an eternity for an answer, but it turns out she’s mutually smitten, and just really needed the time to wade through the heavy metaphors. They begin an intense exchange of hundreds of love letters, which infuriates Fermina’s father. Life gets in the way and sends the adolescent lovebirds down different paths, but Florentino claims to have remained faithful to Fermina throughout his entire life, and he makes a final (and successful) proclamation of his love at her husband’s funeral five decades later.

Atonement by Ian McEwan

The this-is-why-you-should-say-it-in-person letter

The plot of Atonement is set into motion by a horribly misconstrued letter that lands Robbie in jail and leaves his secret girlfriend Cecilia hopelessly wishing for his exoneration. Since Robbie is imprisoned, the only way the couple can communicate is through a series of letters. Robbie is eventually released on the condition that he serve in the army during World War II. Perhaps the most devastating missive comes from Cecelia during this time when she writes:

…I know I sound bitter, but my darling, I don’t want to be. I’m honestly happy with my new life and my new friends. I feel I can breathe now. Most of all, I have you to live for. Realistically, there had to be a choice — you or them. How could it be both? I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one, my reason for life. Cee

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

The you-complete-me letter

He may not be the titular character, but Levin’s development into a happier, less solipsistic guy is just as integral to the classic’s plot as Anna Karenina’s untimely demise. In Part IV, Chapter XIII, Levin takes another go at courting the object of his affection, Kitty. He’s always had trouble communicating his feelings, but Kitty’s innate understanding of him makes it easier. The two sit down at a card table and Kitty produces a stick of chalk, and they start a game of scribbling the first letter of every word in a sentence they wish to say.

Levin jots down: “W, y, a: i, c, n, b; d,y, t, o, n?”

Kitty responds: “T, I, c, n, a, o.”

Did ya get all that? Doesn’t matter because “everything had been said in that conversation. She had said that she loved him.”

Paula by Isabel Allende

The grieving letter

Isabel Allende never intended to write a memoir. She started what became Paula as an informational letter to her daughter to summarize the events she was missing as she lay asleep in a porphyria-induced coma. To the heartbreak of Isabel and her family, Paula never recovered, but she continued writing her letter which blends with some of the classic elements of magical realist fiction.

A Literate Passion by Anaïs Nin and Henry Miller, edited by Gunther Stuhlmann

The highbrow affair letters

Anaïs once wrote to Henry, “We are writers and make art of our struggle,” — that statement became truer than ever when Gunther Stuhlman published a compilation of their missives. The writers only spent a short amount of time with each other in the early ’30s, but carried on a love letter exchange for 21-years! Here’s one of my favorite passages from Miller to Nin:

I say this is a wild dream — but it is this dream I want to realize. Life and literature combined, love the dynamo, you with your chameleon’s soul giving me a thousand loves, being anchored always in no matter what storm, home wherever we are. In the mornings, continuing where we left off. Resurrection after resurrection. You asserting yourself, getting the rich varied life you desire; and the more you assert yourself the more you want me, need me. Your voice getting hoarser, deeper, your eyes blacker, your blood thicker, your body fuller. A voluptuous servility and tyrannical necessity. More cruel now than before — consciously, wilfully cruel. The insatiable delight of experience.

HVM

Selected Letters of James Joyce, edited by Richard Ellmann

The granddaddy of the filthy (fart!) sext

Save your eggplant emoji for the playground, kids, because James Joyce is about to blow you away with the kinky letter he wrote his wife Nora.

You know it’s real when you can’t get enough of your lover’s ~scent~

**WARNING: VERY NSFW**

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

Writers and Creators Discuss What It Means to Make Art in the Trump Era

Creatives are critical players during political crises. At our best, we articulate danger now and danger ahead. We visualize possibility. We act.

I owe writers for what they did for me in November 2016. I didn’t feel a minute of relief from my post-election haze until I listened to the readers at “What Just Happened: Writers Respond to the 2016 Presidential Election.” Participants shared powerful stories. But there was also something about getting together that night. Community and the written word had us feeling energy that we didn’t have when we walked in the door.

Poet Willie Perdomo declared 2017 the year of “fear, angst, and Hell No”. That tidily summed up my year. But what about for others? One year later, I asked creatives to share how living in America in 2017 has affected their work and well-being.

Distracted, Angry, Vigilant

Respondents were asked how they were doing. Many shared some level of distress.

Rosebud Ben-Obi (poet): “I’m feeling a lot of things. Distracted. Angry. Vigilant. Every day we wake up to some new nonsense that our so-called president has created.”

Willie Perdomo: This is the year of Fear, Angst, and Hell No. The idea that there’s more hoax, and tragedy, and gunplay, and war, and taxes, and hurricanes to come, is enough to exhaust the soul. And, yet, it’s the soul that translates the most when these elements are at their apex.

Leslie Cain (independent film producer): For most of the past year I was constantly waffling between depressed incredulity and determination that America lives up to its promises, even if they weren’t sincere in the first place. I’m trying to focus on how to protect the least protected amongst us.

Peter Markus (fiction writer): I’m doing my best not to throw up my hands. I’m finding ways — small ways — to focus on joy, delight, pleasure. To have to be in this world and navigate the daily situations and relations and wonder, ‘Did the sweet fellow at the vet who is a lover of dogs and Bob Seger vote for that monster? Did my neighbor who is a good neighbor and who we chat across our yard about Michigan football and the Red Wings: I know how he voted. How hasn’t his opinion changed?

Serena Agusto-Cox (poet):I’m more anxious about the world and the role of the United States. I’m more concerned about my daughter’s future in a world where abuse and neglect are OK in the political world, as is regulating women’s rights and the rights of others.

(Clockwise from top left: Koritha Mitchell, Willie Perdomo, Olivia Kate Cerrone, Marc McKee)

Robert Fanning (poet): Artists and writers are feeling beings — I say that 100% unapologetically. It’s harder to escape now, to make those necessary imaginative flights — with a constant deluge of Bad News in every sphere: ecological, social, political. For me, it is harder to maintain concentration, to focus on the project at hand; my heart feels pummeled and pulled — by such massive and social political issues, by what feels like an assault on the very truth.

Barry Kaplan (playwright): I sometimes feel my retreat to the country makes me safe from the horrors of what is going on in America.This is not to say that people here are oblivious to the world; quite the contrary. But it is easier for me to be alone here and without TV or the newspaper I can feel like everything is OK.

Marc McKee (poet): A year ago I was seized with dread. Now I’m confronted with horror-creep, and it’s like endlessly, endlessly weeding a garden. Some of my friends have machetes and like heroes go to work. Every. Day. Some of my friends are crying from exhaustion and fear and real hurt. And still the weeds come on in fits and swells.

How do you pursue a writing career in Trump’s America without hating yourself?

The Lit Matchbox

I asked the respondents how Trump’s politics and policies affected their communities.

McKee: Trump is basically just a demented accelerant. He’s a lit matchbox dropped into 40 years of Republican gasoline, and though he’s scarcely worth the word, so incurious and unreflective and unreconstructed he is, his “politics” have further galvanized ignorance and fear.

I’m lucky to live in a college town, albeit a somewhat besieged one, ideologically speaking. We rallied for women in my town. We rallied for the Muslim community in my town, leaving a mountain of flowers at the downtown mosque. We have had marches for climate, we have stood outside representatives’ offices insisting that common sense prevail with regard to health care and gun regulation. And so far, none of the menacing policies brandished by an alternately empowered and chastened conservative “lawmaker” majority in Washington have proved out.

Rosebud Ben-Oni (poet): My mother’s family lives on the U.S.-Mexican border, so I hear often about the daily political and social insults on their lives, which seem to be escalating as Trump wants to seize land to build his ridiculous wall. As a woman, as a Latinx, as a bisexual, I can’t not be affected by the current administration. I’m hyper-aware in that sense of looking over my shoulder again and again when I walk down the street. And I don’t mean only a literal street. But that, too.

Cain: Since the morning after, when my nine-year-old daughter woke up to find that Trump had won, I thought some of her faith in grown-ups knowing and doing the right thing faded. I saw her confusion and then the cloud. We were not what she thought we were and neither was the world.

What This Means for the Work

The political, social, and cultural dynamics of the last year affected respondents differently — but most reported personal impact.

Gloria Nixon-John (poet): I have had trouble focusing on my work as it seems less important than expressing my fears about what the current administration is doing, or might do.

Sarah Louise Lilley (actor): As an artist, if you’re work is not overtly political, it can be a challenge to feel that your voice matters. However, I believe more than ever that art is vital. Just making art now is a political act in itself.

I believe more than ever that art is vital. Just making art now is a political act in itself.

Cain: Art ignites, names demons and exorcises them, too. Art can quiet noise and the glare of purposefully placed distractions. This is why they go after art first, be it the NEA or PBS, because we are affirmed when we create and affirmed people know their power. So, I support and engage more art out of necessity now. It feels less about ego and more like a sin to not produce work.

Serena Agusto-Cox (poet): I’ve had a tough time writing poems on the two manuscript themes I have. Either I don’t write at all or I write angry poems about some news item or Trump’s policies in general. I’m generally not an angry person, but these poems need to get out so I can feel a sense of equilibrium these days.

Perdomo: I wonder about the cycles of destruction, the contempt for the Other, and how a percentage of the population (rabid White nationalists, probably minimal in number, but significant in power and holdings), believe that the country belongs to them and only them. Because then they seek ownership of our bodies, our communities, water. I’m interested in the gangster/politician analogy and how they are not far removed from each other. And I’m still disgusted that the best the leader of the free world could come up with were Bounty towel foul shots for a Puerto Rico that had just been decimated by a hurricane. When you see that kind of heavy, intentional symbolism, you have no recourse but to run to your notebook with a sense of urgency, and hopefully, a touch of what the fuck. I roll with Langston Hughes on guidance and advice: Hold. Fast.

An Open Letter To The Writers Speaking Out Against Trump

James Nolan (poet, novelist): My memoir of a politically radical, most unconventional life — Flight Risk: Memoirs of a New Orleans Bad Boy (University Press of Mississippi) — came out during the first months of the Trump presidency, and to promote it at book events during these polarized times has been a tricky experience. Until the election, I actually thought my life and its values had become fairly mainstream — but guess what? — it’s 1968 again, which ironically is where the memoir opens, at a chapter called “Sixty-Eight” set in the mental hospital to which my parents committed me for being an anti-war and civil rights activist.

In book talks I’ve avoided discussing with certain audiences several of the chapters, especially those concerning my girlfriends’ abortions, my bisexuality, being thrown into a Guatemalan jail because of my association with Latin American revolutions, the year I spent teaching in post-Maoist China, and my expatriate life during the heady la movida years in newly democratic Spain. I didn’t realize how truly divided the country is until I had to go on the road with this book. There was standing room only at my event in at City Lights in San Francisco, but I was uninvited to present the book in Jackson, Mississippi, the very place the book was published.

Koritha Mitchell (nonfiction writer): Trump’s ascension has not changed anything I’ve been saying or doing because I’m convinced that the unwillingness to call out white supremacy, white privilege, and white mediocrity helped get him elected. However, I have found myself even more committed to supporting writers of color. They are bearing witness in ways that should not be lost to us now or lost to posterity. And that’s true whether their work is engaging Trump or not.

I have found myself even more committed to supporting writers of color. They are bearing witness in ways that should not be lost to us now or lost to posterity.

Kaplan: As a white male playwright, I find that the temper of the times is such that more and more theatres in New York and regionally are soliciting plays from women, transgender people, and people of color. As a citizen of America I find this a thrilling development; as a playwright, it feels, for the first time, that I am being shut out.

In the Classroom

Nixon-John: While I am having trouble focusing on my writing, I have been more available to help students, many of whom are adults working on worthwhile manuscripts.

Olivia Kate Cerrone (fiction writer): I take great inspiration from the poet Cheryl Buchanan, who founded Writers Without Margins which partners with various shelters and nonprofit organizations in [Boston], such as the Pine Street Inn and St. Francis House, providing a supportive, creative space to nurture and uplift marginalized voices. Buchanan’s work is a constant reminder of the power that individuals still have at the grassroots level, making a real difference in their communities.

(Clockwise from top left: Chinelo Okparanta, Max S. Gordon, Leslie Cain, Barry Kaplan)

Novelist Chinelo Okparanta shared an unpublished essay she wrote after a white male student brought a story to her predominantly white writing workshop at a Pennsylvania university. The story culminates with the targeted killing of all of the Black population.

Okparanta : There’s a way in which the pulse quickens and the eyes tear up and the face burns with heat when one stumbles upon a story like this. If one is a particular kind of person, anyway. Say, a dark-skinned person reading about the destruction of herself by her very own student — the student she comes into contact with at least twice a week. The student she had no idea was capable of harboring such destructive thoughts, even in a fictional universe.

What They Didn’t See Coming

Serena Agusto-Cox (poet): None of it. Except for maybe the cowardice of the Republican party, refusing to stand up for the country and its citizens rather than corporations and their own party victories. Why they do not act to get rid of someone so harmful and unconscionable is beyond me.

Nixon-John: Knowing about [friends and family] support for Trump has changed my feelings about each of them. I have had to avoid some ‘friends’. Some are relatives. I know hate is poison, but it surfaces whenever I see the President’s face. And I don’t think I am the one who needs therapy.

Markus: Oh I saw it coming. I saw all of it coming. I saw the election result coming. I saw the hatred for the other coming. I saw the power and the permission to voice that hatred coming.

Oh I saw it coming. I saw all of it coming. I saw the election result coming. I saw the hatred for the other coming.

Nolan::A Holocaust survivor once explained that the oppression of German Jews began when Hitler gave people the moral permission to act out their long-simmering resentments. I didn’t expect the resentment in the U.S. to explode quite so quickly after Trump’s election. This has happened on both the extreme right and left, and their street and campus clashes threaten to boil over into a civil war.

McKee: Trump makes me feel as though he is the last object lesson we offer ourselves before we implode into violent irrelevance. I don’t see that coming, but that’s what scares me.

What Gives Them Hope

Markus: I see the faces of my children.I hear their voices. I see my wife, I hold her hand, and I know that I am loved.

Cerrone: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg recently offered this quote: “The true symbol of the United States is not the bald eagle; it is the pendulum, and when the pendulum swings too far in one direction, it will go back.” The Democratic victories in Virginia give proof to this sentiment, especially considering Danica Roem’s historic win. The tide is turning against hate and discrimination.

(Clockwise from top left: James Nolan, Sarah Louise Lilley, Gloria Nixon-John, Rosebud Ben-Oni)

Ben-Oni: Ruben Quesada is a powerhouse of Latinx and LGBTQ activism; check out his recent poem “Angels of Paradise.” Lynn Melnick has done incredible work over at VIDA: Women in Literary Arts, and her recent book “Landscape with Sex and Violence” is a must-read, especially right now. Read all the Gabby Bellot you can find; here’s a good start. Jose Hernandez Diaz’s “Jorge Ramos Is from Guanajuato”. Charif Shanahan’s “Plantation.” Tiana Clark’s “Nashville”. Nate Marshall’s “the valley of its making.” Mai Der Vang’s “After All Have Gone.” Brian Kornell’s beautiful Fat & Queer series. This is a terribly abbreviated list. Go to CantoMundo, Cave Canem and Kundiman to check out some incredible poets.

Mitchell: James Baldwin and his writing and speaking always give me life. I’m constantly struck by his vision and his willingness to call things exactly what they are. Throughout the Obama presidency, so many simple truths seemed unspeakable. Indeed, Obama modeled the tendency to leave white supremacy, white privilege, and white mediocrity unremarked, despite how fundamentally they continue to determine outcomes for every American. Baldwin’s work models precisely the opposite tendency because he believed that a commitment to democracy required no less.

Lilley: Donald Trump has woken everyone up. We can no longer pretend, we can no longer keep quiet.

Donald Trump has woken everyone up. We can no longer pretend, we can no longer keep quiet.

How to Maintain Creative Energy During This Time

Markus: I do my best to be who I am and to love who I love and to try to act with patience and kindness in every interaction of my every day.

Lilley: I think self-care is more important than ever. Whatever that looks like for you — time in nature, turning off your phone, meditation, exercise, taking a bath or journaling.

Kaplan: I have always liked being alone and working alone and that has not changed as I’ve gotten older and the world has become a more worrisome place. I still go to my desk every day and write and try to learn about myself as I do it. My dog is a wonderful writing companion. I can look away from my desk, across the room at the armchair where she is sound asleep and making little noises in her throat, and be reminded that this is what life is.

I Love This Land; I Grieve

Mitchell: I maintain consistent energy and avoid mood swings because I don’t eat sugar or flour. It’s so much easier to find oneself in intense anger and sadness when one’s hormones are out of balance, which sugar and flour almost guarantee in most people.

Fanning: I’m working hard to try and stay away from the edge of that black hole, which is essentially the self sliding into the self, the spiritual flesh flipping backwards upon itself. It really hurts when that happens, so I’m trying — baby steps — to eat better, sleep better, exercise, practice self-maintenance and care. I love going for walks with my wife most mornings beside the river and through the woods. I am, wherever I can, replacing social media and the phone with books (a constant battle). I am working hard on being present for my wife and my children — especially in the moment, looking at them when they’re talking to me, holding them close.

Max S. Gordon (essayist): [I’ve] found myself thinking: If they are going to blow our asses up anyway, and we all end up going to war, maybe I should get high one more time, you know, just go out with a bang? I know better, of course, and it won’t happen, but these are dangerous times for an addict. These are dangerous times for all of us.

What Comes Next

Gordon: Something is definitely coming, and to deal with it we need to be whole. We can’t be fragmented with each other, or within ourselves. The thing that’s coming needs you to hate yourself so you will feel nationalistic pride when they try and build a wall. It needs you afraid at night, hiding behind the shades, so you can be manipulated into a travel ban. The thing that’s coming is counting on you to be a mess, in debt, traumatized, dissociated, drunk, high, angry, racist, lonely, heartbroken, in despair, cynical. It needs you to think Black/White, Palestinian/Jew, Man/Woman, Gay/Straight, Them/Us, Me/Other. The thing that’s coming needs you numb and asleep, so it can organize at night. Then, suddenly, you get up one morning and see the men in the streets with machine guns. Because they know by then it will be too late.

The thing that’s coming needs you numb and asleep, so it can organize at night. Then, suddenly, you get up one morning and see the men in the streets with machine guns.

Fanning: The job of the poet is now as crucial, more crucial than ever — to continue to speak truth, to continue to speak imagination, to speak hope, and to speak love.

Agusto-Cox: Focus on your self-care and family, then do good in your community. Keep hope alive. Even if you don’t have the money to give, give a little of your time or the clothes you don’t wear anymore. Help kids in your community do homework. Anything.

Markus: People need to pay attention. We need to listen and need to take words at their face value. Words say what they say and they often say more than what they say. Words as deed as the saying goes. We need to act, even in small ways: the daily acts of kindness, toward each other, toward total strangers. A simple hello, good morning, how are you? And to listen, I mean really listen when people speak. What people want more than anything else is to hear from you, “I hear you.” Which of course is another way to say, “I feel you. I am with you. We are all in this together.”

A New Memoir Offers a Personal Look at How America Fails the Mentally Ill

Zack McDermott’s debut memoir, Gorilla and the Bird, chronicles a psychotic break that disrupted his 20s and brought him face-to-face with the realities of mental health, incarceration, and opportunity in the United States. At 26, McDermott represented clients for New York’s Legal Aid Society by day, but spent nights and weekends on his budding career in comedy, doing stand-up and writing a TV pilot. Not realizing exhaustion and insomnia were triggers, he left his Lower East Side apartment one morning in the grip of a psychotic break. Convinced he was part of an elaborate Truman Show-like audition for his breakout television role, McDermott thought everyone from the soccer team he briefly joined in Tompkins Square Park to the police at the Bedford Avenue L train stop who escorted him to the hospital were in on it. He spent years after his first manic episode grappling with his bipolar diagnosis and taking antipsychotics while representing often mentally ill clients in court.

McDermott, nicknamed “the Gorilla,” for his broad chest, beard, and copious body hair, relied on his mother, “the Bird.” She’s a stalwart woman who advocates for her son when he can’t speak for himself. She raised McDermott and his two siblings as a single mother on a grocery store clerk salary in Wichita, Kansas. McDermott’s memoir shows him grappling with the stigma of mental illness and learning to manage his symptoms, but is also a commentary on “the dire consequences” for the mentally ill who don’t have an advocate like “the Bird” or middle-class privilege to lean on. I spoke with McDermott about the assumptions faced when it comes to mental illness, privilege, and how he reflected and wrote about this time so vividly in his memoir.

Randle Browning: Gorilla and the Bird opens with the psychotic break that led you through New York City, convinced you were being filmed for your breakout TV role — and eventually landed you in Bellevue Hospital. Did you worry about the perception you were sensationalizing mental illness?

Zack McDermott: I told the absolute truth as best I could. I didn’t exaggerate. I don’t think I was giving people something to gawk at. I was telling a story. There is a danger to glorifying mental illness. There’s this school of thought that people who have mental illness are intelligent or creative. There are brilliant people who have mental illness. There are also people who are brilliant but not mentally ill. Jerry Seinfeld’s about as stable as a bowl of Quaker Oats. He’s a creative genius. There are just as many people that are totally sick — a lot of my clients. They’re not seeing flashes of genius.

RB: In your book you wrote, “Bipolar, psychotic, insane — it’s still one-hundred percent okay to use these words as pejoratives; they are our go-to labels to describe dangerous people.” Do we need a better understanding of what it means to be mentally ill or have bipolar disorder in particular?

ZM: Part of it is just knowing what bipolar disorder is. A lot of times if someone has outbursts or behaves in a dysfunctional or destructive way or has a bad temper, people say, “He’s bipolar.” I don’t get offended easily, but there’s something counterproductive here. You should be as familiar with the symptoms of bipolar disorder as you are with the cold or flu. It costs a lot to not know what those symptoms are, especially when people go through it. I’m not saying if I’d known all about it I would’ve said, “You’re right, take me the doctor.” Maybe. In the throes of mania or psychosis, we are still capable of saying, “Alright, I’m exhibiting symptoms.” I knew something was off with me, I just had no clue what this thing even was.

You should be as familiar with the symptoms of bipolar disorder as you are with the cold or flu.

RB: How much would you say Gorilla and the Bird is about the “dire consequences” for people who don’t come from privilege?

ZM: It’s shocking how many people walk through life patting themselves on the back. We celebrate certain things as if they have a high degree of merit, like being smart. You did literally nothing to be smart. This is kind of extreme, but I don’t even find being a hard worker virtuous. You’re just throwing dice and coming up seven, seven, seven. People don’t look at their good fortune with enough space and removal to consider: “I’m just really lucky to be here.” The flipside is if you’re not viewing how lucky you are, you don’t have enough empathy when others are unlucky.

RB: Based on your experience as a public defender, have you found there to be a correlation between mental illness and incarceration?

ZM: Sure. We’ve more or less criminalized mental illness. We take these people who scare us — we have this default system where you did a bad thing and you go to this building. The question of what we can do for you is never asked. I’m all for a hospitality-driven criminal justice system, where you come as more of a patient than a combatant. Right now it’s so adversarial. The question needs to be asked — not “What did you do to us?” but, “What did we do to you?” What did we do to create whatever host of problems are guiding your actions and behavior? I promise if I threw you in prison, you’d come out with some mental illness. You’d come out looking rough, feeling worse.

We’ve more or less criminalized mental illness.

RB: I believe you, especially after reading about your time in mental institutions. In Gorilla and the Bird, you relive several manic episodes. Was it emotionally draining to write, or hard to remember what it felt like?

ZM: No, it wasn’t hard to relive anything. Plus, it’s work. It’s hard to live it, it’s not hard to think about it. Then, remembering it — I have a good memory. I wrote 300 pages in 2009 that I would occasionally consult. Then there are parts where I was so out of it there’s no way I could have a memory of it. There’s that stretch where it’s just my mom’s journals. I was out for two weeks. I thought it worked as a little device.

RB: Your mom supports you through all of this. What happens to people who don’t have a “Bird”? What would’ve happened to you if you didn’t have her?

ZM: It’s hard to say because I have more going for me. I have a terminal degree. Most of my clients didn’t have college degrees. Most of them didn’t have friends whose parents are psychologists. They’re trying to live. They don’t have health insurance. It’s conceivable to me that I could’ve been arrested several times, but I think I always had a better chance of encountering medical intervention or help and being able to implement that. I worked as a public defender. I know what these medications are. I know what the symptoms are. I think a lot of people, like my clients, were in the dark. It’s hard to separate middle class privilege, for lack of a less buzzy word, from having a great mom. It all made all this possible.

RB: Maybe it’s not one or the other. Your mom and the benefits of middle class privilege mean your story ends in a different way than most of your clients.

ZM: Most people don’t get to write books about it when they’re done.

Reading ‘Girl, Interrupted’ in the Psych Ward

RB: So much of writing is the work of making all the parts fit together after you’ve written the first several drafts.

ZM: It’s like building a car. If the book is going to work well, you can’t just say, “The gasket is close enough.” It has to be flush. And you know what else? You get a lot better from the beginning to the end. If you write for 10 to 15 hours every day for two years, you get better. What you used to think was really good, Chapter Seven, now needs to be better, because Chapter 17 is better.

RB: Is there anything that didn’t make it into the book that you wish did?

ZM: No, I know I gave it my best shot, and my writing partners and friends did too. It had to go through four brilliant editors, and we worked really hard on it. Once we thought we had it good enough, we tightened the screw, and then we tightened it again. We made the right calls on what went in and what went out. I trust everybody that helped me edit it. I had a buddy who said, “We’re done. We have polished this thing, and we can do this no longer.”

We have to revisit the way we look at mental illness. The treatment is to lock you up with other crazy people. It’s literally the worst thing you could do.

RB: Is there something you wish people knew about mental illness?

ZM: My mom has a quote: “When people are at their worst, when your instinct is to walk away, what you really need to do is move toward them.” You’re not witnessing someone being bad. You’re seeing symptoms of a disease. It’s like being mad at someone for throwing up when they have the flu. We have to revisit the way we look at mental illness. The treatment is to lock you up with other crazy people. It’s literally the worst thing you could do. Incarceration is not a treatment. Putting someone in uncomfortable conditions when all they need is sleep, feeding people horrible food. That feels crazy.

Mary Kuryla’s Characters Process Their Feelings Through Animals, Just Like You

The stories in Mary Kuryla’s Freak Weather are by turns disturbing and astonishing, blending the desire for a better life with the quicksand of situational reality. In each tender rendering, a female protagonist navigates her surroundings by protecting herself from the peril she’s trying to escape, often with an animal standing in as an ersatz totem for the issue. These tales twist until they become something undeniable, and Kuryla’s commitment to letting her characters make mistakes without pausing to consider their actions is something rarely seen in fiction. Despite the rush of end-of-semester grading, we were able to speak by phone about her characters’ attempts to understand their sexuality, themselves, and the people around them—and how they use pets as an emotional buffer.

Eric Farwell: In reading the stories, it becomes immediately clear that there’s something propelling them, and that being able to take whatever wonky motivations a character might have at face value is a big part of what makes the work unique. Where did this absurdist humor come from? Were you reading that served as a touchstone?

Mary Kuryla: I wasn’t necessarily reaching for humor, but I’d say that I find human nature funny, and the way we conceptualize our world does tend to contain a certain amount of humor. I think that all of the characters in Freak Weather Stories, to some degree, are underdogs. I gravitate to the underdog, but I’m not interested in portraying them as victims. I struggle with that as a woman and a feminist, because there was so much literature that was coming up for so long that felt concerned with women as disempowered. I’m not interested in telling those stories, because the approach doesn’t seem particularly literary, or even particularly empathetic. I’m more interested in how people get themselves tangled up, how their flaws create huge problems for them, and whether there’s a potential exit for them, a way to escape their own trappings. I guess that when I speak of the underdog, I’m interested in how these types of characters might succumb to that more easily compared to someone who has a lot of means to shore themselves up and protect themselves from such things.

In regard to the question of what I was reading, Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son, Tom Jones’s The Pugilist at Rest, and Barry Hannah’s Airships come to mind. So many of the stories in these collections endlessly portray men behaving badly. It’s interesting that in all this post-Vietnam writing, you have these men that are steeped in this bad behavior, but somehow our culture is really supportive or at least indulgent of this behavior. There’s something like a bad boy thing, and we sort of tuck into them. We might feel like their behavior is really shocking, but there’s something that really stays with us about the burden these men are under. I was really interested in telling a female version of that, because I just didn’t see any. I was interested in what it would be like to have a female character behaving really badly. Joanna Scott’s Various Antidotes stood out to me as having a really intense integrity about exploring women’s identity in a way that wasn’t always pleasing. Angela Carter’s stories of noncompliant and wayward women were also a source of inspiration, as were the films of women directors such as Agnes Varda and Chantal Ackerman.

EF: The biggest theme in the collection is the lack of understanding these characters have of themselves. Often, there’s a shift where a protagonist thinks they understand, but then loses their grip on that certainty. Perhaps more interesting is when you don’t try and posit a reason, but just put the job in the reader’s hands. For you, what holds fascination in regard to what we think we know about ourselves and how we come to different realizations?

MK: These characters always think they can outrun their feelings. We all do that to some extent. You might even observe this behavior in another person—when, say, you’re taking a walk with someone, and you bring up something unpleasant, that person will start walking faster. It’s just a simple thing we all do. Take a story in the collection like “The Worst of You,” where there’s a mom packing to go to jail for child neglect. I was trying to work with the thread of the psyche unspooling. You could almost say it’s a stream-of-consciousness piece, but it also leads to all this action, sets her on this path of what she’s going to go do, even if by the end she undoes it all. In some of the stories, I was working with how language itself can create momentum, how language can chase both towards and away from itself. Since my background is in filmmaking, and as someone steeped in the history of cinema, my work is at times influenced by experimental traditions in film; therefore, I’m always trying to find a balance between story and form. I feel like I have to offer the reader a story, some semblance of story, so that the form can be tolerated. If you’re willing to understand the language and the rules I’m setting out formally, it’s because you believe there’s a story there that’s going to deliver. Maybe it won’t deliver in ways that are terribly familiar, but there is a story. You can say we create stories to try and figure out who we are, but I also think we put ourselves through things to find that out. For example, Penny, the main character in the title story “Freak Weather,” knows she’s in a bad relationship, but she doesn’t have the tools to get out of it. She’s just going to act out as a means of finding a way out.

You can say we create stories to try and figure out who we are, but I also think we put ourselves through things to find that out.

EF: It’s funny that you mention that, because the title story starts you off down this journey of using animals as emotional buffers. In “Freak Weather,” “Deaf Dog,” and “In Our House,” you take the time to set up a kind of vague or serious concern, and then bring in a dog or puppy to kind of separate the protagonist from that issue. In other words, the animals are used to divide the subject from peril.

MK: You know, when I worked with Gordon Lish, he encouraged us to find our limit or wound that we keep going back to. For me, it was rabbits. I raised rabbits as a girl, and I took a lot of solace in pets. Often when I would bring home pets, I’d have to take them back. There must have been something in animals for me where I believed I could protect them, but where they also, you know, helped mitigate my feelings. So, I think you’re correct, but I also wanted to point out that there’s real danger in taking the idea too lightly. I mean, the story “To Skin a Rabbit” is genuinely disturbing for some. In the story, the protagonist is trying to cope with forces in her world she can’t master. So she takes control of what she can.

A Culture of Violence is a Culture of Shame

EF: Animals are also used as emotional stand-ins in stories like “Animal Control” and “Introduction to Feathers.” What’s interesting is that these stories are much more interior than those that use pets or creatures as buffers. I’m not sure if you make that distinction yourself, but I’m hoping you could maybe speak to how you made those calls in a general sense.

MK: I can say that I didn’t necessarily have any conscious awareness of that, that the stories would become more opaque and interiorized or externalized as they unfolded. However, some stories were a lot harder to solve than others. For example, “Animal Control” eluded me for seven years. I worked on it a lot, and got feedback in workshops that could help tame the hell out of it, but nothing that helped if I wanted to stay with a story that was just not easy to contain. It wasn’t until Tony Perez at Tin House suggested I check out this essay by Lucy Corin called “Material” that I started to figure out the story. In the essay, Lucy Corin says that your material is your material. If you want to get answers for what your work is, a sense of what the language is asking for, you have to go back to your material and let it tell you. I took “Animal Control” and put the story up on the wall. I studied it and tried to figure out what it was telling me. It’s a weird way of detaching from your work and analyzing it. I suddenly realized that I needed to get the animal control officer downstairs into the basement, which I had not been able to do before. I had resisted taking her down the stairs because going into the basement in search of an abducted child is what happens in a thriller or horror story. But that was what the story required and, thanks to Lucy Corin’s essay, I figured out how to do it on the story’s own terms. So, I guess what I would say in response to the role of animals in these stories, is that an animal is often a projection of a young protagonist, while for the adult female characters, if an animal figures, it is often as a substitute for a child.

EF: Miscommunication also weaves its way into these stories. Again though, there’s this desire to subvert the expectations of the protagonist. In “Mis-sayings,” the dancer assumes her inability to correctly pronounce or sound things out is the reason she’s having a hard time connecting with her partner, not the situation they’re in. When you’re drafting, do you view this as another layer of subterfuge, or does this aspect of your craft have a different purpose?

MK: I am always looking at how we don’t understand each other. How language eludes us. I’m married to a Russian immigrant. I find that in being married to somebody who has a second language, I’m consistently thrilled by our miscommunications and how antic language can be. But even after my husband’s command of English was pretty flawless, he still had a habit of blending English words. He would take two words that were not necessarily similar in meaning but that nevertheless sounded similar and make them into one word, an unintended neologism. It was always fun to figure out the two words he had amalgamated; even more fascinating was to figure out how he had intended the word to be used. So, to me, I don’t see language as a fixed thing. I see it as elusive, full of tricks, and I like that best about it.

I don’t see language as a fixed thing. I see it as elusive, full of tricks, and I like that best about it.

EF: That’s funny, because I was going to ask you about your use of language. In the stories, there are a lot of bent phrases like “his smile is all sly boots,” that read like sayings or a kind of slang, but dial up the language more than render a character as regionally authentic. So your answer here perfectly accounts for the play there.

MK: The only other thing I could tell you was that I was a terrible speller as a kid. One of the reasons I was such a bad speller is because any spelling of a word seemed just as interesting as the correct one. I think that’s how I feel about phrasing. That’s how I feel about errors. That’s how I feel about language. In fact, that stuff is more interesting to me — the mistakes, the misalignments, the confusion — because it liberates us from our comfortable space in relation to language; and they make language come alive. There has been a great deal out there recently about William Gass, since he just passed away; his whole commitment was to make language flesh. To make language a thing. I think mistakes open up a space for language to shift from representation to delivering the actual thing itself.

EF: I wanted to end by asking about how you approached understandings of power in these stories. Men in “Freak Weather,” “Mis-Sayings,” and “To Skin a Rabbit” all have an inherently ill-informed sense of their own power in relation to women. You pull this neat trick where you showcase that women placed in these unfortunate circumstances are in control, but for the most part, you use that showcase of power as a social lubricant. In this way, it kind of goes back to the idea of the buffer, where they’re using their sexuality in order to gain ground and avoid an awkward or dangerous situation.

MK: I suspect that this collection can disturb some people because the female characters in it cannot be boxed in. They are not behaving in ways that people feel comfortable with. In “Mis-sayings” the American guy that the Russian émigré has come to live with only wants to see her as a ballerina, but she was a stripper in Russia. This American won’t let her be seen in that way. So, there is a certain relief in being able to show herself for who she is to the kid who comes to buy drugs. I have a tendency in my stories to deploy a stand-in; for example, in “Freak Weather” Penny needs to have it out with her husband, but she instead has a strange and precarious confrontation with her husband’s boss.

13 Literary Takes on the Lives of Animals

With regards to this idea that the characters are using their sexuality in order to gain ground and avoid an awkward and dangerous situation, I think some of those tactics spring from my love of cinema. Recently, I taught a class on cinematic and televisual bodies. We were looking at the body in cinema, and how different bodies gain power through visualization, through representation, through taking up screen space or by surrendering it. Actresses like Mae West and Marlene Dietrich, and these sort of earlier figures in the motion picture industry, enjoyed an incredible amount of power with their sexuality, and actually also owned it. Mae West had her own production company. She took credit for discovering Cary Grant. She padded her hips and breasts to spotlight her sexuality, and was in control of it, and especially in control of the script and her sharp and clever tongue. I do feel that women can have a great deal of power in their sexuality, but as a feminist I also recognize that it is a slippery slope where women are easily made vulnerable by the very same thing. A number of the stories in the collection deliberately take up these tensions.

The Feminist Mantra I Learned from ‘The House on Mango Street’

Novel Gazing is Electric Literature’s personal essay series about the way reading shapes our lives. This time, we asked: What book was your feminist awakening?

When I finished college, it was a cicada year, temperatures were in the high eighties, and a radio evangelist had predicted the world would end on the very day of my graduation. I was an English major graduating from a Methodist college, and the symbolism of the locusts, the heat, and the prophecy was too much for me to resist and almost too much for me to bear. Disappointed in my college experience and prone to existential crises, I found myself thinking, What a waste. What a waste of the last four years of my life.

Of course the world didn’t end that day. But my life as a student did, and my life as a student was the only life I knew. I’d never enjoyed school, but I’d understood it. School was something I could count on, something I knew I could do well. I had trouble choosing good friends and coping with my emotions and styling my hair, but I could take a test. I could write a research paper. I could read a book. And this faith in my abilities as a student got me through the roughest patch of my post-grad funk. In that first year after college, I became a better student than I’d ever been. I started journaling, trained to be a GED teacher, and read over 60 books, one of which was Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street. For the next several years, I’d sleep with Mango Street on my bedside table.

Cisneros began writing this collection of vignettes as a graduate student in the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and published it in 1984. It’s the story of Esperanza, a young Latina growing up in Chicago and dreaming of a life of creativity, independence, and self-defined femininity. If I concentrate, I can recite entire passages from Mango Street, but the phrase always at the tip of my tongue when I talk about this novel isn’t from the narrative at all. In the author biography at the end of the book, Cisneros describes herself as “nobody’s mother and nobody’s wife.” When I read those words, I was soaking in the bathtub at my mother’s house. I read and reread until the water got cold. Nobody’s mother, nobody’s wife. Goddamn.

Throughout the novel, Esperanza dreams about the woman she will be once she leaves Mango Street. She will wear red lipstick and be beautiful and cruel. She will live in a clean, simple house, all by herself. She will write poems and stories. She will have peace.

Peaceful solitude has been my dream for as long as I can remember. As a girl I, too, fantasized about clean, simple homes I lived in by myself. I dreamed of sparkling hardwood floors, billowing curtains, natural light, and beautiful aloneness the way other children dreamed of snow days in Georgia. When I was in first grade, we wrote stories about how we envisioned our lives. I wrote that I didn’t want to have any children, and my teacher showed my mother and they both laughed. I can’t blame them; it’s an odd thing for a 7-year-old to say. But some fifteen years later, Sandra Cisneros gave me permission to say it. All of a sudden, I’d found a kindred spirit.

Nobody’s mother, nobody’s wife. It’s an epilogue of sorts. The author biography is always at the end of a book. It’s usually light, objective, and for the most part, immaterial to the understanding of the novel. But in my reading of Mango Street, the author biography is something of a happily ever after. It was easy to identify with Esperanza. We were both artsy and melancholy and determined in our own way. We even shared a name — Esperanza means hope, and Hope is my middle name. What was more difficult to grasp, though, was the reality of the future. It’s always been easy for me to dream, but real-life examples of dreams come true were hard to come by. Along came Sandra Cisneros. A young brown woman from a working class family writing books and traveling the world and coming home only to herself. Not a fictional character, but a real person. Could it be? Yes. Yes.

Nobody’s mother, nobody’s wife. It’s an epilogue of sorts.

For years, I could be found at the grocery store, on the street corner, in my bedroom, muttering, “nobody’s mother, nobody’s wife.” It was my mantra. It would deliver me, or so I thought. It would prevent me from being burdened by relationships when I could be reading and writing and eating and dancing and living. Since those post-grad years, I’m happy to say my feminism has evolved. I now think it could be quite nice to belong to someone, that it could enhance my life instead of taking away from it. That thought could change at any moment. It changes throughout the day. At 28, I’m still trying to figure out if I can be a mother and a wife and still be the person I feel called to be. I’m not sure I can. Being a daughter and a sister and a friend is overwhelming enough. I’m not sure I can do more.

But my feminism is a feminism of possibility. And Hope is my middle name.

How an Alien Invasion Became a Xenophobic Massacre

When They Came to Us

by Debbie Urbanski

They Arrive On A Warm Summer Night With No Breeze
We went to sleep, and in the morning they were here. We saw them on our screens as they emerged from a grove of trees a hundred miles west of us. Their ship had crashed. It was made of a rose-gold metal and looked like a claw with a broken tip. Within hours the government had moved these beings — the “blues,” we eventually came to call them — to a holding station outside the nearest city. There we could watch them whenever we wanted, because of the cameras in each room.

We assumed they would have special powers, like mind reading or levitation, but apparently they couldn’t do such things. What they could do was spray a fine white mist from their pores. Although this wasn’t what we’d expected, it still seemed amazing to us: White mist! Coming out of an alien’s skin! Mostly they just sat there in their rooms. There was a big to-do about how nice their accommodations were: the pricey organic grains they were fed, the high thread count of their sheets, the multiple down pillows, and the room dividers for privacy. The blues spent hours hiding behind those partitions. This became frustrating because we couldn’t see what they were doing; we could only hear them, and the sounds were unrecognizable to us.

They Weren’t Supposed To Look Like Us
Science teaches us that creatures adapt to their unique environments. Surely the aliens’ home planet must have differed from our own, yet the blues did look almost like us — or like imitations of us. They looked as if they had done their best to look like us. They even began to mimic our speech, though their voices were pitched ridiculously high, higher than a human child’s. Their skin, of course, was blue, as were their nails and hair. Mrs. Durand, who has lived here in town for many years, was disappointed. She wanted the blues to look like her dead husband, like in that old sci-fi movie about aliens who took the form of people’s deceased loved ones. That was useful, what the aliens in that movie had done.

Grace Madden, Who Also Lives In Our Town, Tells Us About Her Dream
In the dream she went inside the blues’ ship. They took her up into the air and welcomed her with circular motions of their arms. They touched her neck and her back and her stomach. The ship’s interior was soft and warm and painted with light. The walls seemed to pulse, Mrs. Madden told us, like a heart.

That’s the picture we had in our minds: an enormous heart going whoosh, whoosh, whoosh through space.

Our Town Is Named A Relocation Site, And We React In The Following Ways
Ms. Mueller began the rumors that our water had gone bad. Little Rita Oh refused to sleep, and her mom had to take away her screen at night and lock Rita in her room. Mr. Lucas’s hands began trembling. (From fear? Anticipation?) Roger Gibson put on a sandwich board declaring, “The Emperor Has No Clothes!” and he stomped around the train station in a menacing way. Dana Fisher moved up her wedding to Jeff Campbell, even though nobody thought they should get married at a time like this. At their backyard reception Mrs. Fisher laid out somber plates of mashed beans and skewered tomatoes, and a lot of people left early. Young Tom Durand tied a red bandanna over his mouth and stormed into the Pizza Palace waving a water pistol. The Lucases decided to try for another baby, like Mrs. Lucas wanted. Suzie Breton raised her hand in homeroom and let everybody know that she thought the blues were beautiful; they made us less alone in the universe, she said. Somebody kicked in the head of the homeless guy who begged at the interstate on-ramp. Jessica O’Brien complained of cramps. Certain people stopped drinking our town’s tap water. Jeff hit his new wife, Dana, in a place where he thought nobody could see it, but we saw it and took note. At our annual summer parade the children dressed up as aliens, or how they imagined aliens should look, wearing grotesque masks and walking around with lurching steps. We were unsure whether this was appropriate. Mr. Lucas forgot his bedroom windows were open, and we heard him tell Mrs. Lucas, “If you just lie there with your legs open, I might as well go fuck a cow. Should I? Should I go fuck a cow?” Many of us felt on edge. Ordinary things appeared unfamiliar or even vulgar.

The Blues Arrive In Buses, And We Stand On The Sidewalks To Greet Them
The whole town came out. All morning we waited, keeping the mood festive and light. Johnny Reynolds strummed his guitar, and Mr. Sullivan gave blue balloon swords to the children, because it was the only shape he could make out of balloons. We drank lemonade and ate popcorn and played word games to pass the time. We wore our best clothing. Our children were well-behaved and patient.

At noon the three school buses appeared in a cloud of diesel exhaust. Dana Campbell threw white confetti left over from her wedding, and the children sang a song about sunshine. We tried to catch a glimpse of the blues, but we couldn’t see through the white mist inside the buses. The drivers didn’t stop; they continued on to the refugee apartments that had been built east of town, where the blues would live eight to a room. This arrangement was OK because, from what we could tell, the blues enjoyed living close to each other. They were like animals that way. The relocation agency made sure the blues had what they needed: their closets were stocked with used clothes, their pantries filled with donated food. In each apartment hung a video camera.

After their arrival, if we spotted a blue in town — which was rare, as they were skittish in the beginning — we were supposed to treat them kindly. We weren’t to call them “aliens,” because of the word’s connotations.

When We Ask How Far Away Their Home Is, They’re Oddly Vague
They said their planet was beautiful, but it didn’t sound beautiful. It sounded cold and dark and wet. (The blues themselves smelled like damp wool and spoiled citrus.) They were only one of many tribes on their planet, and none of the tribes were particularly kind to each other. Apparently there were seasons, because at certain times of year heavy fruits hung from the trees, and herds of grunting animals wandered around, offering themselves up for meat. But other times the blues were hungry. Before leaving, they had sold off everything they’d owned, which is why they’d brought nothing with them. “What did you have? What did you sell?” we asked, wanting specifics. They mentioned animals, mainly livestock, and some kind of cloth in which they had wrapped themselves.

Many of the words the blues used to describe where they’d come from we couldn’t understand. We shook our heads, and they sketched the object in the dirt: a square box, perhaps, with lines radiating from it. We still had no idea. This is how conversations went with them. We asked if they had been to planets other than ours. The blues said yes; there had been other planets. Honestly they didn’t like to talk about it much. If we asked for a story about their home, the blues waved their hands in the air, as if the gesture itself were a story.

Our Children Are Understandably Puzzled
Such a change in what was possible: Aliens! Spaceships! New worlds! It didn’t seem healthy for a child’s development.

“What color are their penises?” little Jess Mueller asked her mother.

“I’m not sure they have penises,” her mother said, blushing. How was she supposed to know? Children should not be thinking about such things. They asked what the blues’ poop looked like, how they made their babies, whether they went to hell or heaven when they died, why blue boys were so skinny, and what were those marks on the blue women’s faces? We steered the conversation to more-suitable topics.

We Don’t Tell Our Children That Those Marks Are Bruises, And It Looks Like The Blues Are Starving Their Boys
Once, a blue female wandered from their group, shrieking and tearing at her eyes with her nails. Eventually she collapsed, and a blue male strode toward her. We assumed he intended to help her up, but instead he hit her with the back of his hand, then with his fist. We heard the male’s fist hitting the female, and her whimpering. The sounds made us sick. “Those fucking barbarians,” Ms. Mueller said. We expected the beating to stop, but it went on for a long time. We’d been told not to intervene, out of respect for their culture. If a blue male brought out a leather strap that left welts, we were told not to stare, but also not to avoid looking. We were to act like what they were doing was normal and accept them as they were.

The blues did not hit their children, as far as we knew, but they behaved as if their boys were worthless. At meals, for instance, a blue mother gave each girl an enormous bowl of gruel — seconds if the girl asked for it — along with a chunk of dark bread, while the boys received no bread and were given only a few spoonfuls of the gruel. “They do not get hungry!” a blue female insisted when we asked, though the blue boys looked at us with starving eyes.

To be fair, the blues weren’t brutal all the time. They had a playful side to them. Even the adults appeared to enjoy a childish prank. They were known to hide in alleyways and jump out as we walked by. If we feigned surprise — “Oh, my!” or “Look at that!” — they made clicking sounds in their throats, which meant they were satisfied. When they laughed, they sounded like donkeys.

Better To View The Blues From A Distance, We Begin To Think
Through the cameras in their apartments, we could watch the blues on our screens whenever we wanted. We watched how they ate (with their hands), whether they used the toilets, how they prepared their meals and nuzzled and mated and fought. It was fun studying them like this. It made us feel like amateur naturalists. There was none of the usual awkwardness we felt in their presence; we didn’t need to worry about what to say or how to act. Their violence toward each other continued to strike us as bestial — the males biting the females’ arms; the females’ apparent pleasure — but we eventually came to expect it. In private, by ourselves in our unmonitored homes, some of us discovered that such peculiar and brutal scenes held an erotic charge.

Most of all we liked to watch them sleep. They looked the most like us when they slept, and we felt compassion for them as their chests rose and fell under the thin blankets.

Despite many such hours of observation, we still had unanswered questions. We wished we could understand what kindness looked like to them, and how they described cruelty, and what they thought love meant.

Our Lives Don’t Stop Just Because The Blues Are Here
Winter came, a very mild winter. By February’s end the trees were budding, and there were yellow daffodils in Mrs. Durand’s yard. We were glad for the pretty flowers, no matter when they decided to come. All around us the trees bloomed spectacularly, fragrant and white.

In March we put on our spring festival to celebrate the longer days and shorter nights. As happened every year, we got sick on Ms. Mueller’s fried dough, and we dressed Jeff Campbell up as the spring maiden and made him dance. Not one blue came. They could have come — no one was stopping them — but they didn’t, and in a sense it was better that way. Things were as they should be.

Part of the festival is an art contest, and the theme that year (Mrs. Gorski picked it) was the blues’ home planet. A dozen fine entries came in: paintings of an arctic landscape, an underwater city, even a terrifying vision of spindly legged machines that set trees on fire with their eyes. Only one painting sold, a watercolor of a monochromic desert purchased by Mrs. Lucas. She hung it in her family room, then sat on the sofa and stared at that painting for a long time, entranced by the blowing blue sands and the multiple suns. Perhaps she was trying to imagine herself on the blues’ planet.

“What the hell is this?” Mr. Lucas asked when he saw the painting hanging there.

The Blues Decide They Don’t Want To Be Watched Anymore, As If It Were OK For Them To Decide Such A Thing
First they misted up a few of the cameras. The other cameras they covered with their dirty sheets. So Johnny Reynolds marched right into their apartments — he was caretaker of the building, the master keys jangling at his belt — and he wiped the cameras clean and took down the bedsheets. “Don’t you touch these again,” he scolded.

Within a week the blues had broken every camera. Now that we could no longer watch them, they grew stranger and more savage to us.

They began leaving their apartments more often — swarming out of their apartments, is how it felt. We saw them at the bus stops in the morning, and in the afternoons they crowded us out of our parks. We ended their food donations — we had to, because of the shortages — so they dug through restaurant dumpsters and went begging beside the on-ramps. It was unpleasant for us to see all this and also unpleasant for our children, who began asking uncomfortable questions, like why the blues were stuffing rancid food scraps into their mouths. “Run them over,” Jeff Campbell said whenever he was in the car and saw a blue beside the road scrounging through a garbage bin. It’s not as if Jeff actually ran a blue over; it was just something he said. The point is they weren’t trying to act like us, or even to be likable. Though this shouldn’t have mattered, privately it did matter: their unpleasant smell, how close they stood to us, those guttural noises they sometimes made in their throats instead of using English. Best to leave them be, we instructed our children. We believed the blues must be going through an adolescent phase from which they’d soon emerge more fully formed and useful to us. Until then, we told our kids, stay away.

To Be Honest, The Blues Have Not Come At The Best Time
The mansions along our once-grand boulevards were falling apart, our children were roaming the streets with their pit bulls, and few of us had jobs — or, at least, not jobs we wanted. There were deserted retail spaces left over from the boom and also some ruined factories. It wasn’t just us. The whole world seemed to be in crisis, with riots and strange weather and war. You know how wars are, even if they’re far away: The fiery levels of alert. The panicked glow. The paranoia over everything.

We Advise Each Other Just To Ignore The Blues, But Do All Of Us Listen?
Mrs. Madden got it into her head that she could predict the blues’ future. She met them in the dimly lit back room of her house, where she sat across from them at a card table. They believed whatever Mrs. Madden said. When she told a blue female, “You hide your pain behind a curtain, but somebody will lift up the curtain,” the blue said, “Yes, yes.” When Mrs. Madden said to a blue male, “Everything will be OK for you,” he nodded, even though things obviously were not OK. She traced the patterns on an older blue’s hand and said, “I see darkness up ahead for you, but in your darkness there is a light.” Who knew what that meant? We were impressed when Mrs. Madden touched their hands like that. Sometimes, in return, they gave her a bucket of forest greens or a bowl of ripe tomatoes.

Generally she met with a single blue at a time, but one day she brought a group of them into her back room and said, “I have good news. You thought you were alone here, but you aren’t.” She said that she saw their deceased loved ones roosting near the ceiling like happy birds, and the blues believed her, as always.

If Mrs. Madden said these things in order to be beloved by someone or something, it worked. She was beloved by the blues. They held her hands. They held each other. They fell onto her soft brown carpet, weeping and squawking. Why not? If believing something makes your life that much better, then, by all means, go ahead and believe.

We Tell Our Children To Leave The Blues Alone Until They Start Behaving Better, But Do Our Children Listen Either?
Suzie Breton and Rita Oh began bicycling past the blues’ apartments before school. The girls stuck out their tongues at the buildings and spit on the blues’ lawn — all innocent enough, until one day Suzie and Rita climbed off their bikes and peeked into a first-floor window. (This is what we were reduced to, window peeping, because of what the blues had done to the cameras.) The girls were gazing into a bedroom, which was more nest than room — food scraps on the floor mixed with newspapers and old sheets. On the wall was a photograph of a grove of oak trees. Who knew why it was there?

“I dare you to knock,” Rita said.

“No,” said Suzie.

Rita made whimpering noises at her. “Are you afraid, you big baby?” She grabbed Suzie’s hand and slapped it against the window. Then a blue boy entered the room.

He didn’t see them at first. He removed his shirt and faced a mirror on the back of the door. The girls were awed by the deformities of his body: the too-long back, the emaciated legs, the severe angles of his bones. The boy licked the mirror with his tongue. This made Rita giggle.

Suzie jabbed her in the ribs. “He’ll hear you.”

Rita mimicked the blue boy, sticking her tongue to the window glass.

“Come on. Quit it.”

“Dare you to take off your shirt,” Rita said.

Suzie blushed and refused.

“God, I knew you wouldn’t.” Rita pushed Suzie into the window, and the blue boy heard and turned around. Suzie had no idea how to read the expression on his face. Was he sad? Angry? Curious? Pleased?

Rita unbuttoned her shirt to reveal the petite cotton bra her mom had bought her the week before.

“We’re late for school,” Suzie said.

“As if I care,” Rita said, and she flaunted her chest at the blue. The bra had stupid pink flowers along the seams, but Rita showed it off anyway. As the blue boy approached the window, Suzie studied his fingers and the narrow muscles of his shoulders. He raised his hand as if to press it gently to the glass, where she could see her reflection, but instead he slapped his palm against the pane. Both girls stumbled backward. He hit the glass again with his hand. Then he used his head. An animal sound — a goat? a horse? — came out of him as he stared at the girls. He pressed his open mouth against the window, exposing his terrible teeth.

The girls arrived at school that day shaken. They had thought — wrongly, as we all sometimes did — that because the blues had two arms, two legs, and a head, they would act like us. But they were not human. They were something else. So this assumption — we had to keep reminding ourselves — was untrue.

The Blues Force Us To Ponder Some Ethical Questions
Such as: If something is not human, can we expect it to be bound by human laws? Do civil rights apply to these creatures? Do we need search warrants to enter their apartments? Can they be handcuffed and arrested for scaring our children?

What does justice mean for a being who often appears more animal than human?

In the winter, when some of the blues began starving due to the continued shortage of food, there was the question of whether we were under any ethical obligation to feed them, especially the children. If something happened to the blue adults — and, by this time, things were happening to the adults — what were our obligations, exactly, to the children, and how long did these obligations go on? At what point were we allowed to wash our hands of them and focus on the needs of our own families?

We Finally Find A Use For The Blues
They turned out to be trainable. They could wash dishes or drive a truck or clean our houses.

“You can’t just make them work; you need their permission,” Mrs. Gorski told us. “And they’ll need wages. They aren’t indentured servants. They didn’t come here to be our slaves.” For that matter, nobody could think of any good reason why they had come.

They Are Even Entering Our Fantasies
Mrs. Lucas told Ms. Mueller over coffee and danishes that, when she closed her eyes in front of that painting she’d bought, “it’s like I’m there.”

“Like you’re where?” Ms. Mueller asked. “On their planet. And they’re all around me.”

In Mrs. Lucas’s mind, the blues’ planet was a desert, like the one in that painting — never mind what the blues had said about their moldy dwellings and their flood plains. And in this desert Mrs. Lucas stood barefoot on the sand, which was similar to the sand here on Earth, only light blue and softer. The sand went on all the way to the horizon, but the landscape didn’t feel barren or dead. There were huts to Mrs. Lucas’s right: charming and rustic, eight of them in a circle around a dwindling fire. Above hung lovely, fat clouds.

“Also there are two suns,” Mrs. Lucas continued. “You’d think it was this lonely place. I mean, I’m in the middle of a desert, all by myself, on a different planet. You’d think I would miss home, but I never miss anything when I’m there.”

Next she saw beings approaching in the distance. It was the blues. They were coming toward her carrying baskets of fruits and colorful cloths and flowers, kicking up sand with their feet and singing brightly.

“So you ran away from them, right?” Ms. Mueller said. “Tell me you ran away from them.”

“I didn’t run. Nobody was afraid.”

One of the blue females broke away from the group and brought a cloth to Mrs. Lucas, who touched the fabric — “It was softer than anything I’ve ever felt” — and the whole time the blue female chattered in her rough, throaty language. She must have been saying something about getting undressed, because she began to unbutton Mrs. Lucas’s shirt. The blue female helped Mrs. Lucas out of her clothing with no sense of shame. They laughed together at the scratchy fabrics of her old clothes. Then the blue woman wrapped Mrs. Lucas in the clean new cloth and tied the ends in a knot at her waist.

“This is getting rather wild, Maria,” Ms. Mueller said.

It turned out the blues were headed to a lake — a very important lake to them, one of the only lakes on their planet. Mrs. Lucas followed them there. On the way they began to sing again, and though she had no idea what the words meant, she found herself singing them, too. When they reached the lake, the blues removed their cloths and leapt naked into the clear water, but Mrs. Lucas remained on the wet sand, waiting to see what would happen next. A blue male began to watch her. He climbed out of the water, dripping, and took the edge of her cloth in his hands and tugged.

“Oh, my God,” Ms. Mueller said.

Mrs. Lucas held her cloth tight with both hands, suddenly shy. The blue male slapped her face and neck.

“He did what?” Ms. Mueller said.

The blue male let Mrs. Lucas look into his face as long as she needed to until she let go of the cloth. Then he unwrapped her slowly.

Ms. Mueller attempted to change the subject to the ongoing drought. On their screens they’d seen dusty refugees and ranchers standing beside their dead cattle. But Mrs. Lucas returned to the dream, because she wasn’t even halfway through it yet. She needed Ms. Mueller to understand the way the blue unwrapped her by forcing her to turn. Soon she was as naked as he was. Then he pushed her into the lake.

“That’s enough, Maria, please,” Ms. Mueller said, standing suddenly and taking Mrs. Lucas’s half-eaten danish to the kitchen.

Things May Get Better, Mrs. Gorski Says, If We Welcome Their Children Into Our Schools, So We Try
At the school there was little interaction between the blues and our kids. The blues sat in a far corner of the lunchroom. No one made them sit over there; they just did. And they ate nothing. In classes our children sat as far away as possible from them. The teachers tried their best, even working the blues into their lesson plans: the art of “savage” cultures, for instance, or the physics of space travel, or the portrayal of aliens in fiction. There was a lot of material there. Dana Fisher (she used her maiden name when she taught) asked students in her world-history class to give five-minute presentations on the blues’ home planet, drawing on both primary interviews and their imaginations. Suzie Breton went first, standing at the front of the room and describing something like the Amish farms of the past: the horse and buggy, the obedient children and enormous families. Who knew where she’d gotten this idea? Halfway through, a blue boy stood up from his desk and said, “Wrong.”

“You sit down,” Ms. Fisher ordered.

The blue boy did not sit down.

Suzie Breton began crying, her face red and ugly. “I did my best,” she said.

Ms. Fisher told the boy, “Look at what you did. Do I need to write you up?”

The blue boy closed his eyes, and soon his expression, his entire unattractive face, was lost in that infernal mist of theirs.

“You stop that right now,” Ms. Fisher demanded.

The mist spread throughout the room. It touched the students. It wrapped itself around Suzie Breton’s hair and neck. (It felt, she said, like someone was breathing on her.)

“Get it away from me!” Jessica O’Brien shrieked, grasping at the air, as if that would do any good.

The mist crept up the walls and covered the flags and the model of Monticello on the top shelf. Finally it drifted out the open window and dispersed.

If Mrs. Madden Means The Following As A Warning, The Blues Don’t Get It
“I’m not doing this anymore,” Mrs. Madden told the blues lounging on her front porch in the sun, waiting their turn to hear her predictions. “Not today, not next week, not next month. Go away. Get out of here! Get! Don’t come back!”

Was she having a vision of what we would do before we did it?

The blues shrieked, pounded on her house, tore her flower beds apart, and uprooted small shrubs with their teeth — their teeth! — but she would not open her door to them again.

We Pull The Blue Children From Our Schools
After months of the blue children sulking in the corners of classrooms and being bullied — our teachers were not body-guards; they could not form protective shields around each blue and still be educators — we moved the blues to another building. An old warehouse, actually. To be honest, all the blues had done was distract our kids, and we had our children’s futures to consider. Better to teach those creatures separately, in a special environment where we could focus on topics more vital to them, like how to bathe, or speak clearly, or patch a roof.

You have to understand, none of us hated the blues. We just didn’t want to be around them after a certain point. The fact was, we could already imagine them gone. We imagined the sorts of things we might say once they were gone: Oh, do you remember how they danced? Do you remember those songs we heard drifting out of their apartments at night? As if we hadn’t hated their music and their dancing.

Mr. Lucas Hears About His Wife’s Crazy Fantasies
“No human being can fuck you like you need,” he said — or, rather, shouted — to Mrs. Lucas. We think he then tied Mrs. Lucas to the bed. Even with the windows shut we heard them, but we pretended not to hear. It became clear to us that the blues were ruining certain people’s lives.

Life Cannot Continue On As It Is, Can It?
Look, we studied the same textbooks as you. We knew all the dark secrets of history, just as you do. When we discussed dark times in the past and the things people had done to each other then, we talked as if such acts had been committed by a different species. But these were dark times, too. And dark things happen in the dark. You don’t always have the luxury of sitting there and figuring out who did what to whom. Nobody should walk around acting like they have a golden light inside them, because they don’t. The blues were a disappointment to us, and disappointment can breed anger. We wished to be rid of them.

So we got rid of them.

The Morning After, We Wake Up, And It’s Over
The whole nasty business seemed like something we had watched, not something we had done. Already the air felt different: lighter or, rather, clearer. Something about the sky — though it was still the same sky it had been the previous day — wasn’t the same. We opened our windows for the first time in a long while. The charred smell of the fires still burning east of town drifted in, but we soon got used to it. Littered about our lawns and the streets were the rocks and bricks and ropes, looking obscene now in the daylight, like something it was best not to talk about. We got out trash bags and cleaned up. It was not by any means a joyful day. None of us were throwing confetti or kicking our heels together. In fact, we did not look each other in the eye. For the most part we kept to ourselves, raking our yards or organizing canned goods in the kitchen — the sort of tasks you think you’ll never have time for, so there is a great satisfaction in doing them. There were a few scenes, a few hysterics, such as Mrs. Lucas running down the street in her bloody dress, which she should have changed out of by that point. Anyone visibly upset was ushered inside and soothed with chamomile tea or something stronger. Though we knew the blues’ apartments were empty, Johnny Reynolds went over there just to be sure. He didn’t tell us exactly what he’d seen. All he said was that he’d checked every apartment, even looking in the closets and under the mattresses, and there was nothing worth saving.

Toward sunset a few cardinals in the trees of Mrs. Durand’s yard began to trill in the most extraordinary way, as if to say that certain things did not have to go on forever, and it was OK that they ended.

Can We Blame Everything Bad That Happens Afterward On The Blues?
Such as Suzie Breton’s eventual suicide, or the things Mr. Lucas later did to his wife, or Mr. Sullivan’s vodka binges, or the way our children seemed to lack a moral compass?

Take what happened to Donny Mueller. When he disappeared, we didn’t worry at first. He was only a sixth-grader with chubby legs; how far could he have gone? We searched the schools, the library, the woods. Then we searched the homes and basements of his friends. Finally we found Donny locked up in the Durands’ garden shed, a dog collar fastened around his neck. The collar was attached to a chain, which was locked to the floor beside a bowl of water and a pile of rancid meat. The shed smelled of something burnt. There were scars. Tom Durand and Donny were in the same grade. Apparently Little Tom had wanted Donny as his pet.

There are other examples, but it’s better not to go into them. We found ourselves wondering: If the blues had never come, would we have been better people?

The Blues Long Gone, We Build Ourselves A River Walk
The river walk has lights that turn on at night to keep us safe. The lights get rid of the shadows, and they’re also solar powered, which people seem to like these days. It shows we care about the planet’s resources. Already tourists are strolling along the river, holding hands and buying beverages from the carts, just like we predicted they would. The river walk ends at our town’s park, where there are benches under the oak trees and a rose garden and a pond. Autumn is by far the most popular time to visit. The leaves turn orange-red as if they were on fire, though they’re obviously not on fire, and after they fall we build enormous leaf piles for children to jump in. At Halloween there are pumpkin-carving contests and a costume parade. The tourists find such traditions charmingly old-fashioned.

Only the rare visitor bothers to ask about the blues. You can spot these people easily. They’re the ones walking around with their frowns and notebooks, looking for plaques or some sort of memorial fountain — anywhere they can get down on their knees and make a scene. They’re the ones who expect us to look haunted. One woman, clutching an open notebook in which she has thus far written nothing, asks, “You were a relocation site, were you not? Yet it appears you’re trying to forget this very fact!” As if forgetting were something to be ashamed of. It’s too bad that certain people can look at a town like ours, where nothing is missing anymore, and still see something missing.

When a visitor asks, we don’t deny that the blues were among us for a brief time, but there isn’t a lot more to say. That was many years ago, and most of us have moved on, because that’s what you do. There are only a few people left who’ll talk about the blues’ time here as if it were important: Mrs. Gorski, Mrs. Madden, Johnny Reynolds, Mrs. Lucas. We feel bad for them, because it means that what followed — i.e., the rest of their lives — must have been a disappointment. Mrs. Gorski will ramble on, if you let her, about what she was wearing the night they came (her fluffy red robe), and the style of her hair (in braids), and what she heard (a whistling in the air), and what she saw in the sky (a burning orb like a small, sad sun). Sure, at first it sounds like a big deal — ooh, beings from another planet, a spaceship landing — until you think about how we hadn’t asked them to come. They weren’t what we needed.

About the Author

Debbie Urbanski is a writer living in Syracuse, New York. Her work focuses on aliens, relationships, cults, belief, and family, or some combination of those themes. Her stories have appeared in The Southern Review, Terraform, the Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy, Nature, and elsewhere. “When They Came To Us” is being adapted for the stage by playwright MT Cozzola. The play is being workshopped at Piven theater in Chicago, with public performances on January 29 and January 30, 2018.

About the Recommender

The Sun is an independent, ad-free magazine that for more than forty years has used words and photographs to evoke the splendor and heartache of being human. Writing from The Sun has won the Pushcart Prize and been selected for numerous anthologies, including Best American Short Stories and Best American Essays.

46 Books By Women of Color to Read in 2018

I first wrote a list like this in February of 2017. I’d been looking for upcoming books by women of color — to review, as well as to read — and I had such trouble finding them that it felt like hunting for unicorns. Once I’d collected a few 2017 titles, I thought I’d tell others about what I’d discovered. To my great delight, that list ended up being one of Electric Lit’s top five most widely shared pieces this year. So, I’m doing it again, with the wholehearted hope that a 2018 list might, here and there, help make the literary landscape less parochial, more inclusive. Toward this end, I sifted through publishers’ catalogs for forthcoming books, asked friends for thoughts, and solicited help on social media.

I’ve heard it argued that it’s been a banner year for books by women of color already: there’s Jesmyn Ward’s 2017 National Book Award, for one. It’s the first time the fiction prize has been conferred twice upon any black person or woman—thereby formally, prize-wise, placing Ward in the company of William Faulkner, Saul Bellow, and Philip Roth. This year’s National Book Award ten-book fiction longlist featured six titles written by women of color; three out of five 2017 New York Public Library Young Lions finalists were women of color; and so on.

But there’s such a long way to go. Look, for instance, at the New York Times’s weekly “By the Book” section, in which, to a shameless extent, prominent men continue to suggest we just read still more men’s books. Consider the fact that, as recently as this May, Leonard Chang wrote about a novel of his that was rejected by big-house publishers for not being “Asian enough.” As one editor told him, critiquing his manuscript, “You have to think about ways to make these characters more ‘ethnic,’ more different…in the scene when [a character] looks into the mirror, you don’t show how she sees her slanted eyes, or how she thinks of her Asianness.”

As it so happens, I’m Asian; I’m publishing my debut novel this summer, and my characters, much like me, don’t spend any time contemplating their slanted eyes. If that editor had read more widely in the first place, he might previously have recognized how limiting his stereotypes might be, and he could have broken free of the rigid confines of his own narrow mind. Perhaps it’s too late for him, but it’s not for us. Let’s read more broadly; let’s try inhabiting one another’s wildly varied, entirely human points of view. It’s late in 2017, and the situation’s desperate. If we can’t imagine one another, how will we get through these next few years?

It’s late in 2017, and the situation’s desperate. If we can’t imagine one another, how will we get through these next few years?

I tried, I really did, to avoid mentioning our current president, but as wicked tyrants tend to do, he poisons every day. Still, since this is a forward-looking list, a joyful celebration of what’s to come, I want to glance past him. This, too, will pass. In honor of our next president, the 46th—whoever she, he, or they might be—I picked 46 splendid novels, memoirs, anthologies, and collections I’m anticipating. These writers are here, their 2018 books are coming, and look how glorious.

JANUARY

When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele

I mean, honestly, what better way to start 2018 than by reading the memoir of Black Lives Matter founders Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele? It’s a vital, captivating story of who Khan-Cullors and bandele are, as well as of how the movement was founded.

This Will Be My Undoing by Morgan Jerkins

I’ve admired, for a while, the incandescent essays Morgan Jerkins has published in places like The New York Times, BuzzFeed, and elsewhere. This collection brings together Jerkins’s writing about living as a black woman in the U.S., with reflections on topics ranging from Sailor Moon to Rachel Dolezal.

Halsey Street by Naima Coster

In Naima Coster’s first novel, a mother who’s abandoned her family gets back in touch with her daughter, asking for forgiveness. Ben Marcus says Halsey Street is “a poignant, moving book, written with deep empathy and sophistication.”

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Ijeoma Oluo, editor-at-large of The Establishment, is a trenchant, reliably insightful writer and thinker about race in America, and this collection is necessary reading. Her writing’s been compared to Ta-Nehisi Coates’s, Roxane Gay’s, and Jessica Valenti’s.

Everything Here is Beautiful by Mira T. Lee

Celeste Ng calls this debut novel “a tender but unflinching portrayal of the bond between two sisters — one that’s frayed by mental illness and stretched across continents, yet still endures.” Everything Here is Beautiful examines the depths and limits of love.

The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory

The Wedding Date is a first book from Jasmine Guillory, who wrote frequently for the late, much-lamented The Toast. It’s about a woman who goes to a wedding with a man she meets in an elevator, and Roxane Gay says it’s a “charming, warm, sexy gem of a novel.”

FEBRUARY

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

It’s always an event when there’s new writing from Tayari Jones, but her forthcoming novel, about a just-married husband sentenced to prison for twelve years, is, according to Edwidge Danticat, “an exquisite, timely, and powerful novel that feels both urgent and indispensable.” Jones, says Michael Chabon, “has found a new level of artistry and power” in An American Marriage.

The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore by Kim Fu

Kim Fu’s extraordinary first book, For Today I Am a Boy, received the Edmund White Award for Debut Fiction. Her second novel depicts five girls at camp who take a kayaking trip and end up stranded, unchaperoned, on an island.

The Friend by Sigrid Nunez

A woman loses her mentor and best friend, and takes on caring for his Great Dane. In this vivid portrait of the wilds of sorrow, The Friend shows two fictional creatures in their shared but separate grief becoming increasingly close, and isolated from everyone else.

Call Me Zebra by Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi

From a National Book Foundation “5 Under 35” honoree comes this picaresque about an Iranian American bibliophile, freshly orphaned, traveling across Spain. Bustle has acclaimed Azareen Van der Vliet Oloomi as an author “on the verge of developing a whole new literature movement.”

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi

This is Akwaeke Emezi’s debut, but, as Taiye Selasi says, “she is an old―an ancient―storyteller: thrillingly at home in the tradition of griots, poets, seers and seekers.” Freshwater follows a Nigerian woman with a fractured self whose multiple identities take turns narrating the novel.

Song of a Captive Bird by Jasmin Darznik

Song of a Captive Bird is a fictionalized portrayal of the influential Iranian poet Forugh Farrokhzad, who, in her verse as in her life, rebelled against expectations that she keep quiet. Jasmin Darznik’s novel is inspired by the poetry, letters, and interviews that Farrokhzad left behind.

Secrets We Kept: Three Women of Trinidad by Krystal Sital

Nicole Dennis-Benn calls this memoir a “brilliant account of gender inequality and the burdens we bear as women in the Caribbean.” Secrets We Kept is about Krystal Sital’s grandmother’s life as a widow, and the complicated freedom she found after her husband’s death.

Feel Free by Zadie Smith

I really love opening up a magazine to find that there’s a new essay out from Zadie Smith. Now, for the first time, she’s gathered her nonfiction in one book, Feel Free.

Heart Berries by Terese Mailhot

While Terese Mailhot was in the hospital, diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar II disorder, she started writing in a notebook. Heart Berries comes out of that notebook, and it’s a memoir in essays that, Lidia Yuknavitch says, is “shot through with funny angry beautiful brutal truths.”

The House of Erzulie by Kirsten Imani Kasai

Shade Mountain Press is a small, new, exciting feminist press founded by the writer Rosalie Morales Kearns. The House of Erzulie is its next release, a surreal novel that switchbacks between the present day and a 1850s Louisiana plantation.

MARCH

Bury What We Cannot Take by Kirstin Chen

Kirstin Chen’s second novel is the large-hearted, absorbing tale of a family forced to flee Communist China because a child reports his grandmother to the Party for having vandalized a picture of Chairman Mao. When the visa office says one child has to be left behind, heartbreak ensues.

The Parking Lot Attendant by Nafkote Tamirat

I was utterly enthralled by this book, an unsettling, inventive debut novel about a girl and her father in an island commune. On the level of both prose and story, The Parking Lot Attendant feels startling and new.

Everyone Knows You Go Home by Natalia Sylvester

In this novel, Natalia Sylvester’s second, a woman’s father-in-law comes back from the dead to try to redeem himself with his unforgiving family. Cristina Henríquez says the book is infused with “extraordinary spirit and life.”

Go Home!, edited by Rowan Hisayo Buchanan

For months, I’ve been anticipating this anthology, which brings together Asian diasporic writers as wide-ranging, and as wonderful, as Mia Alvar, Alexander Chee, Karissa Chen, Kimiko Hahn, Alice Sola Kim, Chang-Rae Lee, T. Kira Madden, Jennifer Tseng, Esmé Weijun Wang, and still others. Ocean Vuong says, “I read this book and see my people — see us — and feel, in our collective outsiderhood, at home,” to which I say amen.

My Old Faithful by Yang Huang

The winner of the Juniper Prize for Fiction, My Old Faithful is a linked collection about a Chinese family that immigrates to the United States. This slim volume spans thirty years and a rich variety of stories.

The Beekeeper by Dunya Mikhail

In The Beekeeper, poet and journalist Dunya Mikhail gives the accounts of Iraqi women who escaped Daesh (ISIS), and of the beekeeper who helped them get away. Mikhail herself left Baghdad for the U.S. in the 1990s.

Happiness by Aminatta Forna

Rabih Alameddine says Happiness is one of the best novels he’s read in a while; John Freeman compares it to Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Remains of the Day. In this new book by the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize–winning Aminatta Forna, two strangers in London search for a missing boy.

Whiskey & Ribbons by Leesa Cross-Smith

A police officer with a pregnant wife is killed on duty, and then the widow’s brother moves in to help raise the fatherless child. Alexander Chee says Whiskey and Ribbons is “thrilling,” and “as immediate and compelling as music.”

APRIL

Poignant Song: The Life and Music of Lakshmi Shankar by Kavita Das

Poignant Song is a biography of Grammy-nominated Lakshmi Shankar, a prominent Hindustani classical music singer who collaborated with Western artists like George Harrison of The Beatles. I’ve followed Kavita Das’s writing for some time, and am eager to see what she does with this book.

Heads of the Colored People by Nafissa Thompson-Spires

Nafissa Thompson-Spires brings to life a funeral singer, a suicidal girl, and middle-class mothers in this debut collection from Atria. Kelly Link says “the stories here are dazzling, wise, wicked, and tender,” and that the book’s a “knockout.”

Disoriental by Négar Djavadi, translated by Tina Kover

Already the winner of France’s Le Prix du Roman-News, Disoriental now comes to the U.S. with its fictional account of Kimiâ Sadr, who, at ten, fled Iran for France. Now 25, she sits in a Paris fertility clinic as she’s visited — besieged — by memories of her family.

MAY

The Ensemble by Aja Gabel

Aja Gabel’s debut novel focuses on a string quartet making its way through the highly competitive, fascinating demimonde of music. Maggie Shipstead, for one, calls The Ensemble “a wise and powerful novel about love, life, and music”: “I didn’t want it to end,” she says.

Not that Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture, edited by Roxane Gay

Look, I’m not sure what could feel more urgently necessary than this collection of essays addressing rape and assault. It’s never “not that bad,” and may everyone read this anthology.

JUNE

Sick by Porochista Khakpour

Porochista Khakpour’s previous books, The Last Illusion and Sons and Other Flammable Objects, were memorably superb. I know I’m hardly the only reader who’s been awaiting Porochista’s third book and first memoir, a chronicle of her experience of late-stage Lyme disease.

Number One Chinese Restaurant by Lillian Li

With one of the more eye-catching titles around, Number One Chinese Restaurant is centered upon the workers in a Maryland Chinese restaurant. Peter Ho Davies praises the novel, saying that Lillian Li “conjures the ‘eco-system’ of this workplace with insider acuity and renders her bustling, hustling clan of waiters, hostesses, cooks, and managers with brilliant feeling.”

Tiny Crimes, edited by Lincoln Michel and Nadxieli Nieto

Lincoln Michel and Nadxieli Nieto, both longtime champions of short fiction, have compiled 40 very brief stories about crime. The collection includes writers as fantastic as Amelia Gray, Yuri Herrera, Carmen Maria Machado, Charles Yu, and Laura van den Berg.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

I first read Sayaka Murata’s fiction in Granta and thought it hilarious, strange, and mesmerizing; this novel promises to be no less. It’s about a woman who started working at a convenience store while she was in college, and, at 36, is still in the same job.

Old in Art School by Nell Irvin Painter

Nell Irvin Painter is a visual artist and Princeton history professor whose teacher once told her she’d never be an “Artist.” In this intriguing memoir, she explores questions of what it is to be an “Artist,” capitalized, and of how the judgment of women would-be Artists can be affected by their looks, age, and race.

JULY

Fruit of the Drunken Tree by Ingrid Rojas Contreras

Fruit of the Drunken Tree takes place in 1990s Colombia, and depicts a privileged seven-year-old girl and her family’s maid. As drug-war violence escalates in Bogotá, the two girls draw close in what Patricia Engel calls a “heart-stopping portrait of the intimacy of violence.”

How to Love a Jamaican by Alexia Arthurs

Plimpton Prize–winning Alexia Arthurs is publishing her first book, a collection about Jamaicans and Jamaican immigrants. These accomplished stories range from New York to the Caribbean to the Midwest.

Love War Stories by Ivelisse Rodriguez

Here’s what Brazos bookseller Mark Haber has to say about Ivelisse Rodriguez’s book: that “it’s an insightful look into girlhood, race, and the wounds of growing up,” a “dazzling collection by an important new voice.” Puerto Rican girls, and the women who raise them, fight and love in this new release from the Feminist Press.

What We Were Promised by Lucy Tan

What We Were Promised tracks a family that moves from rural China to America then back to China, this time to a luxury high-rise in Shanghai. One day, an ivory bracelet goes missing, a mystery that exacerbates existing interfamilial tensions.

AUGUST

A River of Stars by Vanessa Hua

Vanessa Hua’s previous book, a story collection, received the Asian/Pacific American Award in Literature and was applauded by O, The Oprah Magazine as a “searing debut.” A River of Stars is Hua’s first novel, and its gripping tale of Scarlett Chen, a Chinese boss’s mistress sent to America to birth a child, is as moving as it is entertaining.

If You Leave Me by Crystal Hana Kim

Gary Shteyngart says If You Leave Me is “an unforgettable story of family, love, and war set against the violent emergence of modern Korea.” This deeply affecting debut novel is about Korean War–dislodged refugees who fall in love.

Everyday People: The Color of Life, edited by Jennifer Baker

Everyday People is the first fiction anthology in a long while from a big-five publisher featuring people of color and Native writers. Edited by Electric Lit contributing editor Jennifer Baker, the book includes Mia Alvar, Alexander Chee, Junot Díaz, Yiyun Li, Hasanthika Sirisena, Brandon Taylor, and other luminaries.

This Mournable Body by Tsitsi Dangarembga

Tsitsi Dangarembga’s third novel details the difficult life of Tambudzai, a woman in Zimbabwe who hopes for a better life than she can attain. Crisis comes when she takes a last-resort job in ecotourism.

OCTOBER AND AFTERWARD

All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung

I’m in the habit of reading every one of Nicole Chung’s essays that I come across — compassionate and astute, her writing has much to tell us about race, America, belonging, and adoption. All You Can Ever Know is her first book, a memoir about having been adopted and the search for her Korean birth family.

And It Begins Like This by LaTanya McQueen

“I have felt unseen my entire life,” says LaTanya McQueen, and she notes that this might be why she became obsessed with finding out more — and writing — about a storied ancestor, once a slave, who had a relationship with a white man. They had three children together, and the ancestor took the man to court to give their children his name.

Useful Phrases for Immigrants by May-lee Chai

Tayari Jones selected Useful Phrases for Immigrants for the Bakwin Award, and calls it “essential reading,” with fiction that “interrogates heavy subjects with a light touch.” May-lee Chai used to report for the Associated Press, and this will be her ninth published book.

The Body Papers by Grace Talusan

Grace Talusan makes use of immigration papers, legal certificates, and medical test results in her memoir about immigration, trauma, and illness. The winner of the Restless Books Prize for New Immigrant Writing for Nonfiction, The Body Papers is timely and compelling.

Eileen Myles’ Memoir Is Much More than Just a Dog Book

Eileen Myles’s Afterglow, a dog memoir, dazzles in unexpected ways. Myles weaves together seemingly disparate topics and personal vulnerabilities to advance their story to a sense of possibility. Their signature brand of rawness, delivered with their Boston vernacular and punk tenacity, renders their grief in a manner different from conventional memoir, yet the book has the same searing depth as the likes of Helen Macdonald’s H is for Hawk. Myles is in their most primal poetic state as they express tender intimacy through memories of bereavement. They reject chronology and use experimental hybrid text to bring together fragments, finding an idiosyncratic order in the untidiness. In other words, we’re witness to their unadulterated mourning process, one involving the loss of Rosie, their beloved 16-year-old pit bull.

We’re witness to their unadulterated mourning process.

While the core subject of Afterglow is Rosie, Myles also revisits themselves at eleven years old, witnessing the death of their father Terrence, a former mailman and alcoholic. Like Rosie, Terrence died while Eileen was in the room. When translated to the page, the sensory experience is a dualistic homage to Rosie and Myles’ father; the two figures are connected through Myles’ belief that Rosie is their father’s reincarnation. The subject matter asks a lot of the reader, but we also get the kind of humor you might find in, well, a dog book. Myles’ prize-winning literary enigmatologist skills make this memoir an unapologetic, frisky tapestry, robust with canine energy. The narrative threads jump around, get rowdy and growl, hide behind the couch, pee on the rug, want to play ball, bark to go outside and sleep across your lap.

I talked to Myles about form and how to upend it — whether that’s by intent and practice, or by following their instincts, writerly or otherwise.

Yvonne Conza: The memoir opens with a kind of fabulist investigation: an awkward, hand-addressed letter from Rosie’s lawyer who is interested in “getting the ball rolling on dogs’ rights.” Why did you choose this opening, a witty piece written years earlier, over the more sentimental dog-mortality chapter “Protect Me You” that begins with You’ve just fallen down on the grass — a gutting, heartbreaking moment that every dog owner recognizes and dreads.

Eileen Myles: I needed to establish the fantastic aspect of the book immediately. I don’t think if I started with “Protect Me You” I would be able to stretch the dimensions of the book to include invention. And I needed to place the letter in the book as quickly as possible. The front was the only place I could imagine it. And then I wrote around it to naturalize it.

YC: The book has a structure that invokes a tapestry. How did you decide on the arrangement? Had you envisioned that from the start?

EM: I kept shuffling them till they felt right. No, the tapestry idea came towards the end of the writing. But I had the xxx sections (Myles had thought to entitle those as “transcripts” or “Rosie at 15” or so Rosie can have her say) for a while and they seemed to reinforce the tapestry structure once it existed.

YC: Afterglow goes rogue on the memoir genre, there’s much less narration than one would usually see. Rosie’s life and death, the bond between pet and pet-owner, intimacy, spirituality, celebrity, politics, alcoholism and recovery, fathers and family history, and the myths built around grief are all covered, seem to froth together with subjects diverse as Kurt Cobain, Abu Ghraib and George W. Bush. How did you know when you got this foam-like form right?

EM: I realized that if I felt secure within each section as a whole, then I could search for the larger order and in some cases end things a little shorter here or there to reinforce the new (and final) ordering of the sections. And that feels foam like. Transitory and drifting. Any final order is a provisional place where I felt I could relax now like this. I could have kept persisting for perfection but finally felt like pretty good was enough like life to be as ideal as it got.

I realized that if I felt secure within each section as a whole, then I could search for the larger order

YC: Did Rosie’s dying give you permission, or new access, to explore your relationship with your Dad and to put his story on the page? What has that meant to you? Did it distill the grief, or provide final closure that, when you were eleven, might have been muddied with confusion and other emotions?

EM: Sure I think I wrote it to give myself that closure. Again there’s no end to mourning. It’s only provisional, but I used everything I had and got to the end of a lot of those feelings. But my mom died before the book came out and it’s dedicated to her so I think I finished that book (and my mourning for my dad and Rosie) so I could get going on the loss of the female parent.

YC: What poets and prose writers influenced your writing process with the book?

EM: Octavia Butler, Kafka, Bruno Schultz, Ursula LeGuin, James Schuyler and a number of travel adventure memoirs. Travel and sci-fi generally felt good.

YC: Chapters titled “x,” “FOAM,” andThe Dog’s Journeypush the narrative forward in unexpected ways. How did the lyricism and the landscape develop for these sections? Did you trust the pieces would home themselves, be woven in, as they came into existence?

EM: “Foam” came in pretty late. It already existed, but I saw that it could fit in the book. The “x” chapters were a whole and I had to figure out how to break it and position them throughout the book. The dog’s journey was written where it was as it was. It was meant for the end and maybe following it with the walk was a late thought. There was another ending chapter that didn’t work and that got jettisoned pretty late.

I think they are the lyric landscape. I mean the landscape comes into existence as these pieces find their harmony with each other. The order is kind of tonal.

YC: Do you write in parceled bursts? Or in fragments you weave and link together?

EM: Big bursts that I tighten and throw out passages to make it swifter, leaner.

YC: What’s your editing process like while working on a book like Afterglow? Do you hand-edit or do it on a computer?

EM: Both. Whatever makes me want to work. I enjoy printing out drafts and editing with a pencil but at various points doing it on the computer feels swift and dangerous though I always save drafts.

YC: Michael Silverblatt, Bookworm’s literary host of KCRW’s author interview program, asked you if you realized the extraordinary risks you took for this book and you mentioned: This was an opportunity to really betray my tribe. Can you talk further about taking risks in your work?

EM: In a way I have subject matter for the first time. It’s about a dog, truly. I gave myself a different question. How to make a book and honor a relationship. In many ways it’s truly a memoir. And I have no inherent respect for that form. That might’ve been the greatest betrayal. To write in a form I don’t admire, but then to figure out how to do it my way.

YC: While writing Afterglow, what was something that unexpectedly came up that you decided to run with?

EM: The puppets. (An early chapter in the book entitled “The Puppets Talk Show,” an imagined interview between Rosie and Myles’s childhood toy puppet.) The walk at the end was the memory of a recording but not the recording. I thought, oh I could write that walk by pretending I recorded it. I did but I never listened.

It’s about a dog, truly. I gave myself a different question. How to make a book and honor a relationship.

YC: Was there anything you cut in Afterglow that we will see in another book or poem? How did you determine that a cut section should be kept for future work?

EM: No. It was more like things from other places — foam, the rape of Rosie came into Afterglow.

YC: What current books are you reading? Who are the emerging writers that you are taking note of?

EM: Joy Williams. Just finished Jordy Rosenberg’s Confessions of a Fox. It’s in galley form.

YC: What writing habit has been most influential for you and has helped to advance your work?

EM: Write lots. Don’t fix as you go. Keep producing.