Graphic Narrative

Have You Patted a Bodega Cat Today?

“How to Placate the Gods of New York,” a graphic story by Matthew Kramer

Bodega Cat by Seth Werkheiser via Flickr

Have You Patted a Bodega Cat Today?

If you enjoy reading Electric Literature, join our mailing list! We’ll send you the best of EL each week, and you’ll be the first to know about upcoming submissions periods and virtual events.
If you want the subway to arrive on time, drop a phone or an object of comparable monetary or emotional value onto the tracks.
Pat every bodega cat on the head & offer it lox from your pocket. This act ensures you never get food poisoning.
When you see a mattress on the side of the street, deliver a short eulogy. No bed bugs will come your way.
To stop a downpour, speak to yourself in a loud but nonchalant voice: "It's lucky that I have to work inside all day." Then leave home with an umbrella, galoshes, & rain jacket. Step in the first puddle you see.
Upon crossing a kit of pigeons, bow & lavish them with praise. "You are noble beasts to behold, & I admire your radiant plumage!" This will prevent soiling of your head & clothes.
& If you need to find a new apartment, approach a drain pipe of a building & whisper that you have been thinking of moving to Boston.

About the Author

Matthew Kramer is a writer, cartoonist, performer and artist living in Providence, Rhode Island. He has an MFA in Literary Arts from Brown University, where he taught comics and digital writing. His work is forthcoming in The New Yorker online and Tin House and can be viewed at matthewckramer.com and canttakemeanywhere.com. Follow him on Instagram @canttakemeanywhere.

More about the author

About The Commuter

The Commuter, arriving every Monday morning, is our home for flash fiction, graphic narrative, and poetry. Sign up  for The Commuter newsletter to get every issue straight to your inbox, or join our membership program for access to year-round submissions. EL’s lit mags are supported by the Amazon Literary Partnership Literary Magazine Fund and the Community of Literary Magazines & Presses, the New York State Council on the Arts, and the National Endowment for the Arts.

The Commuter

Subscribe

Strange, short, and diverting writing delivered to your inbox every Monday..

Read Next
Switch On Symbol

“Besharam” is a Survival Guide for Shameless Brown Girls

Priya-Alika Elias wants to start a rebellion against the ideal of a "good" Indian woman

Apr 1 - Richa Kaul Padte Read
Switch On Symbol

More Like This

Reading Lists

7 Books About People Having a Worse Day Than You

Tomás Q. Morín, author of "Machete," recommends literature that asks how we endure

Oct 22 - Tomás Q. Morín
Screenshot from "The Kids Are Alight," showing leads Nicole Allgood (played by Annette Bening) and Jules Allgood (played by Julianne Moore) talking in a bathroom
culture

“The Kids Are Alright” Illustrates the Privilege In Mainstream Queer Stories

When neighbors and communities are erased from LGBTQIA narratives, queer stories often lose their real-world relevance

Oct 21 - Kate Cayley
conversations

A Radical Poetic Manifesto About Queer Liberation

Andrea Abi-Karam, author of the collection "Villainy," on queer public sex as an act of rebellion against state surveillance

Oct 21 - Sanchari Sur
Thank You!