Dispatches from the Nightmare Factory

MONDAY

All day staring out windows.

Feed another red nose to the machine.

The real you sits and peels an onion.

I adjust my tie.

I do not look at Margaret.

The cloud of me shrinks through the linoleum floor.

Look outside.

Open the folder.

Push a bad dream down the wire.

That sound is a human hand caught in the disk tray.

Send it to Bruce in the next cubicle over.

Cigarettes won’t light when the cavern is this humid.

Outside, a symmetrical pile of bat wings.

No, the other Bruce, who is crying through his salmon shirt.

TUESDAY

Every lunch break glows majestic.

I count the row of neon trees.

Ignoring the sound of windswept balloonists.

Bruce in the parking lot, all wrapped in goatskin.

He’s waving a two-foot plastic snake.

Rain sounds in his beard.

Pictures from my head soaking my earlobes.

Bruce and I drink similar hot sauce through a tube.

A ghost wanders the length of the nearest coal mine.

I blink and step to its familiar shadow.

The sky gets bright.

We forgot to bring sunscreen.

Mount Lemon continues to encircle the earth.

WEDNESDAY

Other Bruce removes his axe hands.

I tell him this cloud meat is delicious.

All day I am perched atop the TV.

A loaf of bread in the bear’s inflatable mouth.

A brief red light.

Familiar sirens.

Just another bad dream down the wire.

And the wind is picking up now.

The wind is kicking like it’s horse-bit.

Like horse venom swelling my fragile bones.

My own incomplete horse body changing in the full moon.

I calculate the newest price of stamps.

My idea of Margaret steps into her half of the horse suit.

Wet sounds bouncing off the concrete.

Our mutual horse suit shambling sideways through the moors.

THURSDAY

I get stuck in the elevator.

I float like a magpie.

Smoke pours from a stone in my palm.

This evening I put another clown to sleep in the tool shed.

I leave Margaret a love note.

No one has seen her for days or knows how to bring it up.

I bend down, and a single polaroid leaps from my front pocket.

Me and my friends and what’s left of my family.

Red faces grinning like the Buddha.

An old man wakes up, and lights himself on fire.

They say the wire ends in a very smooth temple of dirt.

FRIDAY

Snowmen collapse on the train beside me.

That tap tap is the city sidewalk in heat.

Our office space soars over the dead grass.

Margaret is back but she’s not the same.

Please disregard this talking cloud.

Those windswept balloonists.

The sky tilting on its essential hawk.

I consider the weight of my skull, and its frequent changes.

Feelings press into my pillow by degrees.

The result is silver.

It’s unprofessional.

I send one more bad dream down the wire.

It’s true, everything is pliable in the future.

I miss Bruce and his frail human beard so badly.

We’ve all gone dark inside these warm pods.

Just part of some beep boop computer from the 70s.

The backlog of love notes arrives at the tool shed.

The old wood spirals into flames.

After work we’ll go home.

We’ll wear matching smokestacks.

Pray to a sky ever more windswept with balloonists.

A final love note, this time in triplicate.

Three slabs of horse meat.

One last bad dream for the wire.

Signed: Sincerely, Your surgical scar.

Read Excerpts from the National Book Foundation’s 5 Under 35 Winners

Each year, the National Book Foundation honors five debut fiction writers under the age of thirty-five years whose work “promises to leave a lasting impression on the literary landscape.” The winners are selected by previous National Book Award winners and finalists. We’re excited to present excerpts from each of the five winners from 2016: Brit Bennett, S. Li, Yaa Gyasi, Thomas Pierce, and Greg Jackson.

Read them, and then check out their books!

From The Mothers by Brit Bennett

In the darkness of the club, you could be alone with your grief. Her father had flung himself into Upper Room. He went to both services on Sunday mornings, to Wednesday night Bible study, to Thursday night choir practice although he did not sing, although practices were closed but nobody had the heart to turn him away. Her father propped his sadness on a pew, but she put her sad in places no one could see. The bartender shrugged at her fake ID and mixed her a drink and she sat in dark corners, sipping rum-and-Cokes and watching women with beat bodies spin on stage. Never the skinny, young girls — the club saved them for weekends or nights — just older women thinking about grocery lists and child care, their bodies stretched and pitted from age. Her mother would’ve been horrified at the thought — her in a strip club, in the light of day — but Nadia stayed, sipping the watery drinks slowly. Her third time in the club, an old black man pulled up a chair beside her. He wore a red plaid shirt under suspenders, gray tufts peeking out from under his Pacific Coast Bait & Tackle cap.

“What you drinkin’?” he asked.

“What’re you drinking?” she said.

He laughed. “Naw. This a grown man drink. Not for a little thing like you. I’ll get you somethin’ sweet. You like that, honey? You look like you got a sweet tooth.”

He smiled and slid a hand onto her thigh. His fingernails curled dark and long against her jeans. Before she could move, a black woman in her forties wearing a glittery magenta bra and thong appeared at the table. Light brown streaked across her stomach like tiger stripes.

“You leave her be, Lester,” the woman said. Then to Nadia. “Come on, I’ll freshen you up.”

“Aw, Cici, I was just talkin’ to her,” the old man said.

“Please,” Cici said. “That child ain’t even as old as your watch.”

She led Nadia back to the bar and tossed what was left of her drink down the drain. Then she slipped into a white coat and beckoned for Nadia to follow her outside. Against the slate gray sky, the flat outline of the Hanky Panky seemed even more depressing. Further along the building, two white girls were smoking and they each threw up a hand when Cici and Nadia stepped outside. Cici returned the lazy greeting and lit a cigarette.

“You got a nice face,” Cici said. “Those your real eyes? You mixed?”

“No,” she said. “I mean, they’re my eyes but I’m not mixed.”

“Look mixed to me.” Cici blew a sideways stream of smoke. “You a runaway? Oh, don’t look at me like that. I won’t report you. I see you girls come through here all the time, looking to make a little money. Ain’t legal but Bernie don’t mind. Bernie’ll give you a little stage time, see what you can do. Don’t expect no warm welcome though. Hard enough fighting those blonde bitches for tips — wait till the girls see your light-bright ass.”

“I don’t want to dance,” Nadia said.

“Well, I don’t know what you’re looking for but you ain’t gonna find it here.” Cici leaned in closer. “You know you got see-through eyes? Feels like I can see right through them. Nothin’ but sad on the other side.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out a handful of crumpled ones. “This ain’t no place for you. Go on down to Fat Charlie’s and get you something to eat. Go on.”

Nadia hesitated, but Cici dropped the bills into Nadia’s palm and curled her fingers into a fist. Maybe she could do this, pretend she was a runaway, or maybe in a way, she was. Her father never asked where she’d been. She returned home at night and found him in his recliner, watching television in a darkened living room. He always looked surprised when she unlocked the front door, like he hadn’t even noticed that she’d been gone.

Published by arrangement with Riverhead Books, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2016 by Brit Bennett.

You can read another excerpt from The Mothers in Electric Literature’s Recommended Reading.


From Transoceanic Lights by S. Li

I told her how I hit my head once against the corner of our mailbox on the way back from dim sum, and I cried and cried . . . I remembered the clink of chopsticks on porcelain bowls, bamboo baskets stacked in towers wheeled along in steaming metal carts, each kind of food written in red calligraphy on white rectangles and shouted out by waitresses: shrimp dumplings, spicy tripe, phoenix talons (chicken feet), preserved duck egg and pork congee, and honeyed tofu. Ma and Ba were arguing, and I complained that I was too tired to walk. There were no seats on the ferry so I had to stand. There were no poles within reach so I had to hold on to Ma’s dress. I was careful not to step on the foot of the gaunt hunchbacked man whose chapped big toe, earthen brown, and crowned with a blistered yellow nail protruded from his tattered shoe like a hatching alien; I could not stop looking at it, at its sparse crinkled hairs like the legs of a dead spider. Don’t depend on others and learn to do things yourself, Ma shouted. You can walk, let’s go . . . but before she could finish, Ba snatched me up in his arms defiantly and carried me the rest of the way home. We approached the foot of the stairs, up the first step, up the second, then a deafening scream, my eyes squeezed shut and the darkness was spinning around me. Not doing something helpful? Then don’t do anything at all! Ma screamed as Ba lowered me to the floor to check my head. She grabbed my arm and pulled me up the stairs. She boiled an egg, peeled it, removed the yolk and put in its place a silver ring. Then she wrapped the egg in a handkerchief and rolled it over the bruise on the back of my head, tender and bubble-soft as if ready to pop. She fed the egg to the cat afterwards and showed me the ring. Its once shining surface was no longer silver but a swirl of deep blue and purple. The ring sucked out all the bruised blood, she said. Another memorable bruise was the one I got after I somersaulted off the couch out of sheer boredom and landed on the ground smack on the left side of my forehead — that was not until years later at a new apartment, and that time I did not cry. The bruise swelled and subsided, leaving behind a hardened lump noticeable in select angles of lighting that later distorted the fit of baseball hats. And then there was the bruise in the middle of May’s forehead: she was standing on the bed against the window watching the blizzard as if in deep meditation with hands pressed against the cold glass that afforded a silvery myopic view of the city — the rooftops of its skyscrapers shrouded in clouds, its roads unplowed and devoid of cars, its sidewalks unmarred by footprints, its trees coated with snow like sweet frosting — and I, lying between her feet and the window, rolled over. She toppled and gave a laugh, her knees dug into my side, and her forehead slammed into the window frame. The bruise came and went but the scar came and stayed, a canyon-like sliver visible every time she smiled . . . Ba took the blame for it by telling Ma that he had dropped the telephone on her when she was sleeping in his arms; as ridiculous and comical as that sounded, it was the truth she knew until I told her the real truth many years later when I would no longer get in trouble for it.

At the start of class, Mrs. Lin handed us a printout. Follow as closely as you can, I know most of you can’t read it, but just follow along. When you do this enough, you’ll have it memorized.

All the students were lined up by height, shortest to tallest, facing out from each classroom, hands placed over our hearts. The loudspeaker in the ceiling sounded and the principal’s voice was heard. We followed her recitation: I pledge allegiance to the Flag . . .

. . . dangling motionless from a hollow dowel jutting out from a stone column . . .

. . . and to the Republic . . .

. . . my worries had temporarily settled for I had realized that, even in extreme pain, one could be free from fear . . . would I be able to recall my beating with that same shrug of a shoulder? . . .

. . . one Nation under God . . .

. . . I pretended to mouth the syllables of the verses spoken too fast . . .

. . . and justice for all.

I half-followed the morning lessons and half-watched from some impossible vantage point our things being sold off or given away: one olive-colored couch, four black-streaked stools, one mahjong table, one video cassette recorder, one television with dust-matted antenna, one small folding dinner table with three warped plastic chairs, one hardwood bed, two lamps, one dented dresser with five drawers, one shiny red motorcycle, and the refrigerator we left behind — imagine if it were to slip from grip and cartwheel down the stairs rending apart walls, it would rock the earth on impact . . . once in the middle of the night, I remembered, or possibly dreamed, that for a few seconds a tremor in the ground woke me and sent me running to the living room to see our balcony rise and fall like a ferry on stormy waters against the backdrop of thousand-punctured skies bleeding silver . . . another time — a dream for sure — there was a quake of such magnitude that our furniture was uprooted, the walls collapsed, the doorframe cracked, the stairs shattered, yet there were no screams, for everyone had fled, and the centipedes, termites, ants, geckos, and mice were pouring out of the crevices and fissures to hurl themselves over the balcony in one big vermin waterfall . . . I rode on their slimy backs all the way to Grandfather’s house for refuge.

Published with permission from Harvard Square Editions. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.


From Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

Effia

The night Effia Otcher was born into the musky heat of Fanteland, a fire raged through the woods just outside her father’s compound. It moved quickly, tearing a path for days. It lived off the air; it slept in caves and hid in trees; it burned, up and through, unconcerned with what wreckage it left behind, until it reached an Asante village. There, it disappeared, becoming one with the night.

Effia’s father, Cobbe Otcher, left his first wife, Baaba, with the new baby so that he might survey the damage to his yams, that most precious crop known far and wide to sustain families. Cobbe had lost seven yams, and he felt each loss as a blow to his own family. He knew then that the memory of the fire that burned, then fled, would haunt him, his children, and his children’s children for as long as the line continued. When he came back into Baaba’s hut to find Effia, the child of the night’s fire, shrieking into the air, he looked at his wife and said, “We will never again speak of what happened today.”

The villagers began to say that the baby was born of the fire, that this was the reason Baaba had no milk. Effia was nursed by Cobbe’s second wife, who had just given birth to a son three months before. Effia would not latch on, and when she did, her sharp gums would tear at the flesh around the woman’s nipples until she became afraid to feed the baby. Because of this, Effia grew thinner, skin on small birdlike bones, with a large black hole of a mouth that expelled a hungry cry which could be heard throughout the village, even on the days Baaba did her best to smother it, covering the baby’s lips with the rough palm of her left hand.

The villagers began to say that the baby was born of the fire, that this was the reason Baaba had no milk. Effia was nursed by Cobbe’s second wife, who had just given birth to a son three months before. Effia would not latch on, and when she did, her sharp gums would tear at the flesh around the woman’s nipples until she became afraid to feed the baby. Because of this, Effia grew thinner, skin on small birdlike bones, with a large black hole of a mouth that expelled a hungry cry which could be heard throughout the village, even on the days Baaba did her best to smother it, covering the baby’s lips with the rough palm of her left hand.

“Love her,” Cobbe commanded, as though love were as simple an act as lifting food up from an iron plate and past one’s lips. At night, Baaba dreamed of leaving the baby in the dark forest so that the god Nyame could do with her as he pleased.

Effia grew older. The summer after her third birthday, Baaba had her first son. The boy’s name was Fiifi, and he was so fat that sometimes, when Baaba wasn’t looking, Effia would roll him along the ground like a ball. The first day that Baaba let Effia hold him, she accidentally dropped him. The baby bounced on his buttocks, landed on his stomach, and looked up at everyone in the room, confused as to whether or not he should cry. He decided against it, but Baaba, who had been stirring banku, lifted her stirring stick and beat Effia across her bare back. Each time the stick lifted off the girl’s body, it would leave behind hot, sticky pieces of banku that burned into her flesh. By the time Baaba had finished, Effia was covered with sores, screaming and crying. From the floor, rolling this way and that on his belly, Fiifi looked at Effia with his saucer eyes but made no noise.

Cobbe came home to find his other wives attending to Effia’s wounds and understood immediately what had happened. He and Baaba fought well into the night. Effia could hear them through the thin walls of the hut where she lay on the floor, drifting in and out of a feverish sleep. In her dream, Cobbe was a lion and Baaba was a tree. The lion plucked the tree from the ground where it stood and slammed it back down. The tree stretched its branches in protest, and the lion ripped them off, one by one. The tree, horizontal, began to cry red ants that traveled down the thin cracks between its bark. The ants pooled on the soft earth around the top of the tree trunk.

And so the cycle began. Baaba beat Effia. Cobbe beat Baaba. By the time Effia had reached age ten, she could recite a history of the scars on her body. The summer of 1764, when Baaba broke yams across her back. The spring of 1767, when Baaba bashed her left foot with a rock, breaking her big toe so that it now always pointed away from the other toes. For each scar on Effia’s body, there was a companion scar on Baaba’s, but that didn’t stop mother from beating daughter, father from beating mother.

Matters were only made worse by Effia’s blossoming beauty. When she was twelve, her breasts arrived, two lumps that sprung from her chest, as soft as mango flesh. The men of the village knew that first blood would soon follow, and they waited for the chance to ask Baaba and Cobbe for her hand. The gifts started. One man tapped palm wine better than anyone else in the village, but another’s fishing nets were never empty. Cobbe’s family feasted off Effia’s burgeoning womanhood. Their bellies, their hands, were never empty.

In 1775, Adwoa Aidoo became the first girl of the village to be proposed to by one of the British soldiers. She was light-skinned and sharp-tongued. In the mornings, after she had bathed, she rubbed shea butter all over her body, underneath her breasts and between her legs. Effia didn’t know her well, but she had seen her naked one day when Baaba sent her to carry palm oil to the girl’s hut. Her skin was slick and shiny, her hair regal.

The first time the white man came, Adwoa’s mother asked Effia’s parents to show him around the village while Adwoa prepared herself for him.

“Can I come?” Effia asked, running after her parents as they walked. She heard Baaba’s “no” in one ear and Cobbe’s “yes” in the other. Her father’s ear won, and soon Effia was standing before the first white man she had ever seen.

“He is happy to meet you,” the translator said as the white man held his hand out to Effia. She didn’t accept it. Instead, she hid behind her father’s leg and watched him.

He wore a coat that had shiny gold buttons down the middle; it strained against his paunch. His face was red, as though his neck were a stump on fire. He was fat all over and sweating huge droplets from his forehead and above his bare lips. Effia started to think of him as a rain cloud: sallow and wet and shapeless.

Excerpted from Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. Copyright © 2016 by Yaa Gyasi. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.


From Hall of Small Mammals: Stories by Thomas Pierce, excerpted from the story “Hot Air Balloon Ride for One”

People are always asking her if she’s the F. 0. Betts. She’s not. 

“Then who am I talking to?” The man on the other end of the phone line asks her this.

She shouldn’t have answered the phone. She doesn’t know why she did. She could have locked the doors and been gone an hour ago. Her boyfriend is probably waiting for her downtown with an apple martini and a basket of garlic bread.

‘’I’m the other F.O.,” she says. “His daughter. Fiona Orlean. My father was the real F.O.” The F was for Frank. The 0 was for Oliver. He taught French and Latin at the high school for twelve years, piloting trips on the side for extra cash before starting the F. 0. Betts Hot Air Balloon Company. Unfortunately he was also a sucker for online poker. Fiona officially took over the business five years ago when they discovered the extent of his debts.

“Is it safe?” the man on the phone asks. “Does it sway a lot? “

“I’ve been up a thousand times and not one accident ,” she says. “And no, it doesn’t really sway.”

The man says he wants to book a trip for one, please. “For one?”

“Yes, for one.”

“Usually we send larger groups up. Seven. Eight. Twelve. It’ll cost extra for just one person,” she says.

“I’ve got money.”

“That makes one of us.”

“How much for a solo trip tomorrow morning?” he asks.

She names an exorbitant sum, more than she’d usually charge, but he says okay, and she gives him the exact address where they can meet. The next morning, there they are, together in a hazy field at dawn, her tennis shoes and jean shorts wet from the tall grass and morning dew, the hulking balloon taking shape behind her. The passenger watches from a safe distance with his arms crossed. He doesn’t like the look of the basket. He asks if he should be hooked in somehow.

“To what?”

He points at the red metal crossbar that keeps the propane tanks in place.

“You’ll be fine,” she says. “Really.”

When they’re ready to go, she motions for him, but first he wants to get something out of his car. He digs around in the back- seat and produces a boom box and a small black metal cage. In- side the cage is a green-and-yellow bird.

“What’s this about?” she asks.

“This is Magnificent,” he says. “The parakeet. I thought she might enjoy the ride.”

“We don’t usually do this sort of thing,” she says, though in truth she has seen and permitted much stranger. She makes good money off the eccentrics. This one time a couple wanted to go up naked and Fiona tried to be funny by asking if she needed to go up naked too, but the couple didn’t laugh. They said, sure, if she wanted to, but Fiona stayed clothed and did her best not to look. This other time Fiona let a woman take up her easel and paints and Fiona had expected the woman to produce a beautiful land­ scape painting but when she snuck a glance at the work-in­ progress, in fact it was a bowl of cherries. The high mountain air, the woman explained when Fiona inquired, was full of good ions and encouraged creativity.

And so, looking at the parakeet, Fiona sees a new business opportunity. The bird will cost extra. Nothing personal, she says. It’s an issue of liability, of insurance.

“That’s fine.” He doesn’t even ask how much. He hands her the cage and then the boom box, and then he swings his long legs up and over the lip of the basket even though there’s a door that can open. He’s in jeans, and his shirtsleeves are rolled up tight around the elbows. He could be an accountant. Small wire glasses hover at the end of his thin, ruddy nose.

When she hits the blast valve, flames and exhaust shoot up the throat of the balloon, and he grips the edge of the basket with both hands. The balloon is a yellow one with blue horizontal stripes that Fiona bought almost five years ago from a company in South Dakota. She has two other balloons but all of them should probably be replaced soon.

Tom is her man on the ground today, her chaser. He has been around since her father ran the company. She gives him the signal, and he lets them loose. The balloon rises up fast into the warm morning air. Tom waves goodbye with a gloved hand. As the chaser, he will follow in the truck. The flame whooshes loudly overhead.

Fiona loves this part, the initial breakaway from the earth, from its interstates and box stores, from its pop songs and head- lines with question marks in them, from jorts and jeggings and every other commercial portmanteau. All of it falls away, and you are suspended, divided from it by — well, not much. A little bit of wicker.

According to her mother, Fiona was conceived up here, two thousand feet above the mountains. Counting nine months back- ward from October would place this momentous event — momentous for her, anyway — in January. She imagines snow on the mountains, her parents’ pink hands in gloves, boots on their feet. She imagines quilts on the bottom of the basket, their breath visible in the crisp and chilly air as they come together. The story might not be true. It doesn’t matter. Fiona likes it. Whenever she asks her father about it, he says he doesn’t remember but he says it with a smile that suggests he remembers every single detail and is just not willing to share. Usually her mother only brings it up when Fiona isn’t listening. When she acts far away. When she’s got a head full of hot air.

Her passenger doesn’t seem to be enjoying the view. He’s down in a crouch on one knee talking to the parakeet.

“What are you telling it?”

“It’s a she,” he says. “And I’m asking how she likes it up here.”

Published by arrangement with Riverhead Books, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2015 by Thomas Pierce.

You can read another story by Thomas Pierce in Electric Literature’s Recommended Reading.


From Prodigals: Stories by Greg Jackson, excerpted from the story “Metanarrative Breakdown”

The thing that happens to me most profoundly on psychedelics, the reason I occasionally do them, in fact, and what happened to me that afternoon for a good two hours or so during the deepest part of the trip, is that my sense of connection to the metanarrative deserts me. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that in seeing the possibility of this connection foreclosed, I become aware of something I didn’t know was taking place: an unconscious process, a limbic subroutine, an autonomic checking-in the brain seems regularly perform to square what you are doing with the context of the day, the week, the still broader context of the year, your life, what you care about and hope to achieve, how you see yourself and how you want to be seen. It is in watching this process break down that you become conscious of it, the failure of some mechanism to catch at the appropriate point, and the sensation is not unlike waking repeatedly from a dream without having realized you were asleep.

This has been my experience, in any case, and it isn’t exactly pleasant. It is instructive though, I think, to step outside future-directed life, to feel the past slip away, and to confront who you are unmoored from history and intention. It can be frightening. You’re left with very little when these things go. But it opens some brief window on the phenomenology of being alive, of living inside a head, and it offers a fleeting glimpse of the metanarrative unmasked as demiurge, as idol, which if you’re like me you must punish from time to time, smash and sweep from the Ka’aba. The pristine emptiness, when you’ve done this, can verge on holiness.

The worst part of a trip, we can probably all agree, is the moment you’ve come down enough to realize you are not down all the way. Gabrielle and I are throwing a Frisbee in the yard, watching it glimmer metallic shades as it zips between us, when this moment comes. Gaby lets the Frisbee fall behind her without making any effort to catch it.

“I’m going to do yoga now,” she says.

“OK,” I say, and because I dislike even thinking about yoga, I decide to take a walk instead chatting with Gaby while she limbers up. I put on a shirt. I get my phone, some earbuds. I pick out a podcast to listen to. I feel briefly lucid as I set off down the street. It is a lightly wooded residential street with a few people out front watering their lawns. The occasional car passes slowly by. Once I see the people on their lawns and in their cars, however, and realize they see me, I am flooded with the certainty that they knew I’m on drugs, which now that I’ve left the equivocal sphere of the house it seems I really am. But I compel myself to focus on the podcast, on Terry Gross’s familiar voice, her warm, brisk personality, and for about ten seconds I feel fine. I manage to smile at a father and daughter playing catch without, I believe, appearing unambiguously psychotic. And yet I can feel a small worry taking shape in me, a worry I can tamp down but not entirely ignore, and which takes the form of the following question posed to myself: Haven’t I been walking on this street for an insanely long time? The right way to put it is that I have no idea how long I’ve been walking on the street, and being unable to reconstruct the experience with any temporal dimensionality feels akin to having been always walking on the street. It is not a long street, I know this for a fact. In either direction it runs into a perpendicular street and ends, measuring, along its entire length, at most eight hundred feet, a distance a world-class sprinter could cover in under twenty-five seconds. But because my walk is an iterative action and not a coherent experience — because it is not a walk so much as all the component parts of a walk — it does not seem possible, or at least inevitable, that I will ever reach the end of the street. And the more anxious this realization makes me, the more closely I attend my progress, the rate of which, as a consequence of this heightened attention, seems correspondingly to diminish. And it is right around this time, experiencing the first licks of panic, that I realize my walk has become Zeno’s paradox.

I don’t remember how I made it back. I must have turned around, but honestly it’s all a blur. A blur not because it went by fast, but in the sense that the recording of a voice slowed down sufficiently no longer resembles a voice. I credit Terry Gross with getting me home, the grounding cadence of her speech, a metronomic standard by which my subjective experience of time was kept from veering into a fatal adagio. And soon enough — or, you know, whenever — I found myself back in the sunny yard, watching Gabrielle articulate her body in serpentine asanas, listening to Terry interview an author I like, and then an actress I like, as happy as a puppy and at peace, because what I understood just then was that Terry Gross’s voice was the voice of the metanarrative, demotic ur-parent, Catcher in the WHYY, the call of the shepherd returning me to the pastures of solicitude and moderation, that cultural plane on which the days horrific news — ecocatastrophe, civilizational conflict, postcolonial scarring, and our legacies of violence and extortion — was not diminished or ignored but existed in a strange vaporous adjacency to yuppie mores, triumphalist life narratives, midcult art, and an anachronistic fixation on jazz, this narrow-bandwidth refugium for temperamental decency and civic virtue and a heartbreaking reasonableness that seemed less and less like the earned wisdom of life than a tragic hope lain over it.

Published with permission from Farrar, Straus and Giroux. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Let’s Get to Work: Practical Ways for Writers and Teachers to Get Involved Right Now

In the wake of Donald Trump’s election to the presidency, communities which have in various ways long been at risk, including women, POC, Muslims, LGTBQ, immigrants, and the undocumented, are now facing the prospect of even greater disenfranchisement and vulnerability. The role of writers, editors, translators, teachers, journalists — whose task is to educate, to speak, listen, and bear witness, and to help raise the voice of others — will continue to be emphatically important. However, if you belong to any of those categories and are looking for additional ways in which you can practically and constructively participate, then the list we’ve compiled below is for you.

The organizations we have highlighted need writers/editors/teachers/ translators/others to volunteer. If you know of any comparable organizations that we might have missed, please mention them in the comments below. We will periodically update this page with new information.

New York Cares

New York Cares is looking for writers and others to help low-income high school students and their families fill out FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) applications to ensure they can afford college (no prior financial aid application experience is necessary, they provide training).

They are additionally looking for volunteer writers to help vulnerable high school seniors in New York write and prepare college applications.

East Harlem Tutorial Program

The East Harlem Tutorial Program will similarly be looking for writer-mentors to help see high school seniors through each step of the college application process. The application for the next round will open again in February 2017.

They are also looking for volunteer tutors to help middle and high school students in English, History, and a number of other subjects.

TheDream.Us

TheDream.Us is an organization which works to help undocumented immigrant youth — who have no access to federal aid, and limited state-aid access — gain college degrees. Right now they are looking for National Selection Committee Members to read and score applicant essays.

Girls Write Now

A mentorship program pairing high school girls in NYC one-on-one with women writers or digital media professionals from every discipline, Girls Write Now will soon be looking for mentor applications from women in either profession for their September 2017 — June 2018 programs. Keep an eye out for the application here, and read more here. And look out for other ways you can get involved with them here.

WriteGirl

Similar to Girls Write Now but based in L.A., WriteGirl is seeking volunteer mentor-writers (women or men) on a rolling basis to work with teen girls at schools throughout Los Angeles County. Their next training session begins Spring 2017.

Arab-American Family Support Center

The Arab-American Family Support Center provides services to members of Arab, Middle-Eastern, Muslim and South Asian immigrant communities throughout New York’s five boroughs. Right now they are seeking tutors for their children’s after-school program, conversation partners for ESL students, and volunteers to help adult students study for their citizenship exam.

Imani House

Based in Brooklyn and Liberia, Imani House has a number of programs specifically aimed at assisting and empowering “marginalized youth, families, and immigrants.” They are looking for volunteer educators to teach adult literacy, ESOL, and GED courses.

Immigration Equality

Immigration Equality, an LGBTQ Immigrant Rights organization based in NYC, is currently looking for translators to help pro bono attorneys speak with clients in their native language, to complete asylum applications, and in the courtroom. If you are fluent in a second language, you could be of help.

Sylvia Rivera Law Project

Based in New York, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, an organization assisting and advocating for “low-income people and people of color who are transgender, intersex, or gender non-conforming” is looking for volunteer translators, researchers, writers, and editors.

CARECEN

The L.A. chapter of CARECEN, which among other things provides education, advocacy and low-cost immigration legal services, is looking for volunteers very soon to help proofread and review college applications from high school seniors. They are also looking for English instructors, research volunteers, and volunteer translators.

The New York chapter of the Central American Refugee Center is looking for ESL classroom assistants and Spanish interpreters.

Meanwhile, in D.C., the CARECEN Latino Resource and Justice Center, needs volunteers to help immigrants fill out citizenship applications, teach classes to help students prepare for the citizenship interview and exam, teach ESL, and serve as mock interviewers for students.

PEN America

PEN America, an organization seeking to protect and advocate for free expression and the human rights of writers, has active employment opportunities and internships in a number of different categories. Check them out here.

826

With chapters in Boston, New York, D.C., Michigan, Chicago, L.A., and Valencia (and in Seattle as The Greater Seattle Bureau of Fearless Ideas), 826 and their related organizations offer programs that “provide under-resourced students, ages 6–18, with opportunities to explore their creativity and improve their writing skills,” and helps “teachers get their classes excited about writing.” They have volunteer openings and employment opportunities in a number of categories.

Free Arts NYC

Free Arts NYC aims at providing arts-based mentoring to underserved youth, from pre-K all the way up through high school. They will once again be looking for volunteers beginning in January 2017.

And once again, if you know of any comparable organizations that we might have missed, please mention them in the comments below.

Carrel: A Writer Regenerates in the Stacks

Rebirth during the Yale Writers’ Conference

Sunlight, filtered through Tiffany stained-glass, dappled the audience’s backs with patches of red, green, and gold. The brethren, eager young writers attending the Yale Writers Conference of 2014, were tuned in to a panel of literary agents who intoned words of advice from the stage. Reverently, the writers scribbled in their Moleskin notebooks about agent commissions and editorial preferences. I doodled in mine. Next to me a fireplace, obviously non-working, displayed miniature international flags poked into a wooden base. Not on the hearth but in the fire box. Was this a global warming statement? A critique of patriotism?

After the panel members had left the stage and conference attendees filed through the double doors, I remained in my little wooden desk. The conference director and his cheerful blonde assistant were collecting books and papers that had been left on the long table. I felt like the Mason jar of wilted hydrangea heads that perched on the podium. My nose tingled, and I sensed tears coming. I would not cry in front of the Director of the Yale Writers’ Conference, but I couldn’t leave without speaking to him or his assistant; I was friendly with both and that would seem rude. I’d say a quick ta-ta and scoot out. The director turned around just then, said hello, and I began to bawl. Bawled for my unpublished state. Bawled at abandoning poetry after rejections from lofty journals I had no business submitting to. Bawled at many, many missed opportunities to write while children napped or were at school. But mostly I cried because I didn’t want to be what I was: an older would-be writer wounded by the blade of bitterness.

I would not cry in front of the Director of the Yale Writers’ Conference, but I couldn’t leave without speaking to him or his assistant; I was friendly with both and that would seem rude.

All during the conference I had attended the panels and workshops but had avoided anything social, instead sulking back to my hotel room chock full of self-pity. My movements were militaristic, a series of engagements and retreats. The friendly young lady at the hotel front desk waved to me at each of my departures and returns. Behind her smile, surely she questioned my sanity, and honestly, I did feel a little crazy. And so it was to save my sanity, or at least gain some equanimity, that I took off toward the library.

On my way there, I walked past stone-faced Berkeley College, where my husband lived for three years as an undergraduate. I recognized it by the crest above its doorway; in the early days of our marriage I used to wear his old Berkeley t-shirt, emblazoned with that crest, which was shaped like a knight’s shield with ten white crosses marking its brilliant red background. It was a great-looking t-shirt, but I must confess that by wearing it I hoped people would assume I had gone to Yale instead of my mediocre women’s college in Virginia.

Along the side of Berkeley, a slate walk led the way to Sterling Memorial Library, and as I trod it, my competing emotions were a-boil: exhilarated at being at the Yale Writers’ Conference, weighted down by the heft of the whole Yale thing, excited for the next ten days of hobnobbing with well-known writers, and other feelings I couldn’t label at first but soon came to recognize as loneliness and uncertainty. Oh, I should probably add a festering dab of self-doubt.

The pathway emptied onto a flagstone plaza overlooking a wide expanse of grass, a quilt of worn and seeded squares, no doubt caused by Frisbee games, or whatever outdoor game is popular with 21st century Elis. I stopped at Maya Lin’s water sculpture The Women’s Table, an elliptical slab of polished green granite balanced on a black granite base. A skin of water slid over it. Under the water, a spiral of incised dates and numerals shimmered. The dates commemorate the early years of women’s admittance to the college, and the corresponding numerals tally each year’s matriculating females. Beside 1969, the first year of women at Yale, the numeral 576 is etched. That group’s trepidation, expectation, and excitement must have been not unlike my own.

Sterling Library Women’s Table, Yale University

Beside 1969, the first year of women at Yale, the numeral 576 is etched. That group’s trepidation, expectation, and excitement must have been not unlike my own.

Behind The Women’s Table, a seven-story stack tower hulked over a neo-Gothic facade, which was so ornate that I stood for a while, agape. The top is crenellated like a medieval castle’s ramparts and seems to protect an immense pointed-arch window below. Above the entry doors, mid-bas reliefs presage the building’s scope contained in its four million volumes. One relief shows a wounded bison, mammoth, and a bone pendant from Magdalenian-era caves in the Dordogne region of France; think Lascaux. A Viking ship, Assyrian scribes, and Egyptian stonemasons also speak to the world’s civilizations housed within. One inscription quotes Aeschylus’s Prometheus Bound. Translated from the Greek, it reads:

Ignorant they of all things till I came

And told them of the rising of the stars

And their dark settings, taught them numbers, too,

The queen of knowledge. I instructed them

How to join letters, making them their slaves

To serve the memory, mother of the muse.

How to join letters…I thought of my second-grade teacher, a nun, scraping a funny-looking contraption across a blackboard. When teaching us handwriting, she used this gadget, comprised of a flat wooden slab from which projected three wire prongs that had curlicues at their ends bearing sticks of yellow chalk. After chalking the lines on the blackboard, Sister Christine would take a felt eraser and with lightning quick flicks of her wrist erase parts of the middle line. Hyphen-high, for lower-case, she’d say. It occurred to me that most of my fellow conference attendees were too young to know about any of this: nuns? handwriting? blackboard? Aeschylus’s quote, with its mention of ‘mother, niggled me — — many of these young writers were the same age as my children.

When I ventured into the library, I nearly genuflected, its structure was that reminiscent of a Gothic cathedral: coffered ceilings, soaring vaults, wall-sized stained-glass windows, cinquefoils, crockets, and gargoyles. The only thing missing was incense. I moved into the central area, which was like a nave, the atmosphere light and airy yet grand. Because of the exaggerated height and sunlight beaming through the windows, one’s gaze is pulled upward; in medieval cathedrals this suggested heaven, at Sterling, knowledge.

When I ventured into the library, I nearly genuflected, its structure was that reminiscent of a Gothic cathedral.

Activity was a-thrum: susurrus of docents leading tours, a printer sighing, echoes of boots, squeaks of running shoes. All of it lifted my spirits. Libraries usually have this effect on me, but what I really came for was the serenity of a carrel, snugged in among shelves of books.

After procuring a temporary stack pass, I was beginning to feel less like a visitor, expertly swiping the pass at the security desk, jabbing the elevator button that would deliver me to the seven-story stack tower, and ultimately to a carrel. To me, a carrel reprises what I imagine the womb’s atmosphere to be — one of comfort and safety. We can think of our mothers’ wombs as our first carrels. A carrel, too, functions like a womb; transformative creation happens in both. In a womb, a zygote becomes a human being; in a carrel, ideas, observations, hypotheses become stories, poetry, theories.

To me, a carrel reprises what I imagine the womb’s atmosphere to be — one of comfort and safety. We can think of our mothers’ wombs as our first carrels.

As the stack tower security guard inspected my Yale Writers’ Conference tote, ZZ Packer’s short story “Drinking Coffee Elsewhere” surfaced in my thoughts. The story relates the experience of a young black girl trying to assimilate at Yale during her first year. It’s a lonely story, but parts of it are hilarious: the first scene depicts her in a getting-to-know-one-another game of “Trust” where one person stands inside a circle of her peers, who instruct her to fall backwards into their arms. “No, way,” her character says. “The white boys were waiting for me, sincerely, gallantly…No fucking way.” I fully empathized with Packer’s character, except I was neither young nor black; I was a sixty-one year-old white woman amidst a youthful multi-cultural crowd, who, I assumed, could write me under the table.

The elevator trembled up to the sixth floor where I got off in search of the perfect carrel: lit by a window and in a corner. I found one on the fourth level, eased back into its Windsor chair, and just sat for a minute, relieved of that awful feeling of not fitting in, an interloper. Silence prevailed; solitude reigned.

In his Poetics of Space, Gaston Bachelard pinpoints the relationship between solitude and creativity:

“And all the spaces of our past moments of solitude, the spaces in which we have suffered from solitude, enjoyed, desired, and compromised solitude, remain indelible within us and precisely because the human being wants them to remain so. He knows instinctively that this space identified with his solitude is creative…”

With my pencil of choice, a Mirado Black Warrior, I wrote the date in the corner of a blank page in my notebook. That’s as far as I got. The graffiti on the upright back of the desk had caught my attention: a Mandarin character that resembled a lantern, a large block of Spanish, and some very interesting commentary. Someone had scrawled, with elaborate tails on the ys and ps, existential thoughts about carrels: “You realize that this carrel will be perpetually assigned.”

Someone had scrawled, with elaborate tails on the ys and ps, existential thoughts about carrels: “You realize that this carrel will be perpetually assigned.”

Another carrel-occupier had replied in block print: “I like the idea of there being no definite ownership only anonymous and arbitrary possession of this place.” A third person, with letters that leaned left, had written something that matched my emotional state: “Man is destined to be a stray…” I recorded all of this in my notebook and circled the last bit, then began writing. I wrote that yes, if man were a stray, then writers are doubly so. Writing is solitary, and the urge to write, in fact, is akin to a stray’s search for sustenance. Writing is foggy and murky. Yet the act of writing somehow marks a way out of the fog, rendering both writer and reader temporary shelter. Somehow this happens. I haven’t a clue how but am pretty sure that staying at your desk for long periods of time has something to do with it.

The word carrel derives from the Medieval Latin carula; or perhaps from the later Latin corolla “little crown, garland.” Eventually both words evolved to “carol,” an allusion to the sound of monks reading aloud the manuscripts they were working on. During the pre-Renaissance period, there was an unprecedented need for copies of books, the laity having become increasingly literate. During 14th century England, eighty percent of adults could not spell their names. Carrels also sequestered the monks from choristers practicing in the nearby choir. Imagine a monk in his chilly, poorly-lit carrel bent over, quill in hand, scratching and pricking at vellum. Most likely a teen-ager whose eyesight was still keen, he’s painting minuscule, intricate, and complex illuminations: blue-winged serpents entwining the pillar of a P, a tiny naked human riding a dragon in the open loop. Then imagine a choir practicing Benedictine chants over and over, and it’s no small wonder that carrels were invented.

The Rites of Durham is a mid-sixteenth century anonymous account of monastic life in England’s Durham Cathedral. A manuscript roll, sixty-seven feet in length, six inches wide, it consists of sixty-five pieces of paper stitched together with thread. When I first saw an image of the Rites, I couldn’t help but think: This is a roll of toilet paper. (Useless bit of the arcane: the width of a modern toilet paper roll measures five inches.) In the Rites’ description of the physical layout of the Cathedral, the carrels’ location is noted:

“In the north syde of the Cloister, from the corner over againset the Church dourthe Dorter Dour, was fynely glased from the hight to the sole within a little of the grownd into the Cloister garth. And in every wyndowe Pewes or Carell’s…” which are described as “fynely wainscotted and verie close…in every carrell was a deske to lye there…” and continues with the monks’ postprandial retreat back to the scriptorium: “…when they had dyned, they dyd resort to that place of Cloister, and there studyed upon there books, every one in his carrell, all the after nonne, unto evensong tyme.”

It’s almost as if the monks had been tucked in for a nap.

The summer before fifth grade, my father challenged me to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I remember bonding with that book, flicking the page corners, which made a sound like shuffled playing cards. I cared for it, always using a bookmark, never turning the corners down or, worse, laying it spine-breakingly face down. After completing a chapter, I would close the book, finger-tracing its incised letters on the cover. I can call up exactly what that book looked like: green cover, the H and F designed out of rickety fence posts.

I remember bonding with that book, flicking the page corners, which made a sound like shuffled playing cards.

Inscribed above the left door of Sterling’s entrance, there is a translated Egyptian passage from a Middle Kingdom papyrus: Would that I make thee love books more than thy mother. Of all the quotes above the main doors’ lintels, this one left me quite smitten. In my life I have loved other books the way I loved Huckleberry Finn: Robert Lowell’s Life Studies in Goucher College’s Julia Rogers Library; Ignatius Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises in Johns Hopkins’s Eisenhower Library; and most recently Jayne Anne Phillips’s Black Tickets at the Scottsdale Public Library. All I read in a carrel.

Relying on my sketchy Spanish, I tried to translate the large block of writing. No te amo, I do not love you, si fueras rosa, something about a rose? My translating stalled, I counted the lines and realized that I was reading a sonnet. It was Pablo Neruda’s “Soneto XVII”, a stirring love poem, one of a hundred from his 1959 Cien Sonetos de Amor. Who was the romantic who marked the desk with such gorgeous words? Was it written for a particular someone the writer knew would sit in this carrel? Despite the scribe’s anonymity, I perceived an intimacy between the two of us. Courtesy of Google, I read an English translation of the poem. I reread the last four lines aloud:

So I love you because I know no other way than this:

Where I does not exist nor you,

So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

So close that your eyes close when I fall asleep.

The erasure of the two selves in the second line creates a selflessness, the kind of selflessness that allows for true communion between the I and the you of the poem. The speaker only knows one way to love the beloved but does not define “the way” and instead elevates the “where”, the place. In my place, the carrel, I imagined I was the speaker and the spoken to “you” was my writer self. Why not? As Bachelard wrote, a place of solitude is a creative one. An anonymous writer had left a gift for whoever came to that carrel. I was grateful to have chosen it and to have received a sonnet. I was grateful for the inspiring graffiti. I was grateful to be at the Yale Writers Conference. Tired, I checked my watch and saw that I had been writing for nearly two hours. Up in the Sterling stacks, I had regenerated my writer self, floating within the amnion of my carrel.

Ted Wilson Reviews the World: The 2016 Presidential Election

☆☆☆☆☆ (0 out of 5)

Hello, and welcome to my week-by-week review of the world. Today I am reviewing the 2016 Presidential Election.

If you’re like me, you voted for Donald Trump. If you’re also like me, you did it by accident because you had a brownie crumb stuck in your eye and it was hard to see what you were doing and there was a long line of voters behind you and you felt a lot of pressure to hurry up so you just checked off whatever and hoped for the best.

A lot of people voted for Donald Trump intentionally though, and it’s hard for me to understand why. I asked someone wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat why she voted for Trump but she told me to shut up. This made me understand her even less. That’s when I realized I’m never going to truly understand another person’s very specific life experience that causes them to think someone like Donald Trump could be a good choice to elect as President.

Divisiveness and anger seemed to be the prevalent themes for this election on both sides. Trump supporters hate Hillary supporters, and Hillary supporters hate Trump supporters. Beyond that, I’m not sure what anyone really was talking about.

That’s when I got the idea that if we all had a common enemy, we could come together. So I went to my polling place on election morning dressed in my Halloween costume as an alien. At first people just assumed I was a Trump supporter because they seem to wear lots of costumes, but then the Trump supporters thought I was a Hillary supporter making a statement about undocumented immigrants.

I had hoped people would think I was an actual extraterrestrial coming to conquer the planet, but this worked just as well. Everyone on both sides hated me. That’s when I pulled off my mask and said, “See? We can all come together in the face of a common enemy. We’re not so different after all.”

I spread my arms wide, expecting people to start hugging me, but one man claimed I was lunging toward him and he pepper sprayed me. Then someone posted a video of it online, my email got hacked, and people threatened to kill me.

There’s literally no part of Donald Trump that I like, but I’m reluctant to hate him. It’s clear he suffers from a mental illness. I would never hate someone for having cancer the same way I would never hate someone for being mentally ill.

When Donald Trump was born, he was an innocent baby and whoever raised him spent a long time hating him. Now he’s spreading that hatred because it’s all he’s ever known.

I guess in that way we’re all a lot like him. We all love to hate.

BEST FEATURE: Bobby Jindal’s unintentionally hilarious hidden camera announcement for his bid for the Presidency.
WORST FEATURE: The legitimization of bigotry in the eyes of bigots.

Please join me next week when I’ll be reviewing a marshmallow.

Affinity Konar Confronts a Horror

In Affinity Konar’s Mischling (Lee Boudreaux Books 2016), we follow Stasha and Pearl, two twelve-year-old girls, as they arrive at Auschwitz. On the train platform, they hide under their grandfather’s coat until a guard discovers that the girls are zwillinge — twins. They are taken from their family and handed over to Josef Mengele, who they call “Uncle Doctor,” and who subjects them to the horrors of human experimentation. In alternating chapters, each girl narrates how they manage to survive. Stasha is in charge of “the funny, the future, the bad.” Whereas Pearl is the curator of “the sad, the good, the past.” The language of the novel is beautiful but also unafraid to fully describe the suffering that the girls are forced to observe and endure.

Mary South: Stasha and Pearl are closely bonded as twins. Their bond is so close it’s almost preternatural at times — for example, when they sit back-to-back and draw on the ground, they always depict the same pictures even though neither twin can see what the other is drawing. They are still quite distinct from each other, however. How did you go about developing the character and voice of each twin?

Affinity Konar: The book came Stasha-first. I wanted to write a kid rebel who dreamed of vengeance, a tomboy with a knife and too many feelings. A girl whose bond with another was so great that the loss of it threatened her own life. Initial inspiration came from the testimony of an eleven-year-old boy named Peter Somogoyi — the Nazis gave all the twins these dull little pocketknives that they could use to cut their bread, and this boy had other plans for his knife, he sharpened it and swore to take one Nazi with him before the end came.

Writing about twins can feel like a cheat, and then, when you see all the built-in risks and assumptions, it becomes a gamble. I was desperate to make Pearl more than the aspirational, polite sister, the whisper to Stasha’s howl. I worried that she would be the paler figure, but a strength asserted itself when I saw that the book needed a voice to bear witness. And so Pearl began to address what Stasha refuses to — she plainly acknowledges the deaths of other children, the likelihood of their family’s fate, the hierarchies within the barracks, the roles of the adults entrusted to oversee their care.

The only choice in their development that felt really calculated — and then, meant to be — was the one to make the twins girls instead of boys. There was something about handing a girl that pocketknife that broke the book open. I remember sitting with the new pages and feeling like I’d just managed to mount a very beautiful horse.

MS: The first half of the novel follows Stasha and Pearl as they arrive in Auschwitz and are chosen for what is called “Mengele’s zoo.” The second half follows each girl as they both struggle to survive in a world that is still unpredictable and brutal after Pearl is forcibly separated from Stasha and then Auschwitz is liberated. What led you to this structural choice and why did you decide to continue their story in lieu of keeping it confined completely to their life inside the camp?

AK: There were two big influences at play here. Children of the Flames, my initial source material, follows the stories of the twins post-liberation and into adulthood, so it was almost as if I couldn’t conceive of a narrative confined strictly to the life within the camps. And then there’s the fact that The Truce was my introduction to Primo Levi’s work, rather than If This Is a Man, so my awareness of Holocaust literature was led by a preoccupation with his fractured journey back to Italy. I leaned on all of Levi’s books, but the story of those travels made a true impression on me. It was probably the first book I read that made me wonder what it meant to rebuild your life in the aftermath of such extreme pain and dehumanization, and it captivated me doubly because it also offers up these odd moments of charm and humor while moving towards a future that remains full of peril.

MS: I read that Mischling took you ten years to write. Could you describe how the novel changed over time?

AK: When I read it, I still see the four other books it thankfully escaped being. Much credit is due to Lee, my editor, for it being in the state I dreamed of. It was a sprawl of a book, a three-parter at one point, always full of confusions. The research was always presenting a new figure or story I found important, and I kept shifting timelines and the ages of the girls. And then there were tonal issues, small things that had to be weeded out because they’d been written just to pull myself through, chapter to chapter. For instance, Feliks tended towards these lines that were tributes to my affection for the Marx brothers — he was my comic relief, along with Bruna — but I often had to recalibrate the lighter gestures, as important as they were. And there used to be a thread that explored the Nazi interest in animal breeding programs, the Third Reich’s obsession with resurrecting the auroch for hunting purposes. I was too taken with the telling absurdity of this — creating something to kill it in sport — and tried having Stasha look at the Zoo with a more pronounced interest in genetics. But that angle, as interesting as it might have been to me, didn’t serve the story of the twins.

The biggest alteration was Mengele himself. When I first thought of the book, I was very young, fixated on injustice in the way that only a sixteen year old can be, and Mengele was one of my main sources of ire. So the spectacle of him threatened to overtake the narrative at various points, and I’m very grateful I never wrote the book in the throes of that particular immaturity, because I doubt I would’ve rewritten it as many times as I did. Eventually, I found that the only way to deal with his monsterism was to portray him not as a man, criminal, or psychopath, but as a series of acts, and to do so only through the perspective of his victims. Any focus on his life distracted from those he so brutally ended and altered. The twins were the only ones who needed to be illuminated. In the end, I struggled with whether to even acknowledge his death within the novel.

MS: There are images and scenes that struck me as seemingly allegorical or something out of a fable. For example, there is Mengele’s wall of eyes and how Stasha calls herself and her friend Feliks “Jackal and Bear,” among other examples. But then, of course, I had to remind myself that these things weren’t allegorical at all. Stasha calls herself and Feliks “Jackal and Bear” because they are wearing jackal and bear fur coats that belonged to victims of the Holocaust. Mengele’s wall of eyes is a literal wall of human eyes he has saved in his attempt to try and artificially change iris pigmentation. Did you employ this allegorical mode that isn’t allegory at all as a way of demonstrating how these girls are trying to mitigate the suffering they’ve endured, or was it for us as readers to even more fully feel the horror of violence that’s so extreme it’s almost unbelievable?

AK: I think of the mode as “masking and unmasking.” Not all the masks are even pleasant — just fair and ready covers for the terror beneath — my hope is that when the masks slip, the terror is enlarged.

I am greedy though, because while emphasizing horror was foremost, I also hoped that the masking could speak to the coping mechanisms of the girls. Stasha’s fur was stolen from someone who is most likely dead. And with the guilt of survival at her back, she’s warmed, protected, and inspired to form a new, violent identity, because it doesn’t feel safe to live as a Jewish girl anymore. The very fact that she retreats into this persona immediately after liberation is meaningful, or so I hope.

And I have to note that I’m always grateful for this particular read, because I shudder a bit whenever I hear the word “magical” tossed about with respect to how the girls view the world. This is not magic. It’s an endangered life with a series of veils. Some of the veils might appear charming because they’ve been draped by the hand of a child. But they remain veils. And their arrangement within the book is a strange, fraught task, because there is an inevitable confrontation with the surreal that occurs while examining the camps. This was an anti-world within the world, it offers up the unimaginable. I tried to test the masks and the veils for their sensitivity, and their value to the characters, to not approach the array of sights as hinges for artistic opportunity.

MS: Theodore Adorno said that there can be no poetry after Auschwitz. What were the concerns and difficulties you had in writing about such an infamous historical setting? Did you worry about depicting trauma you didn’t experience firsthand?

AK: It’s a statement I encountered early and was paralyzed by, repeatedly. And I liked that paralysis, to be honest. It shut down the possibilities, and made me imagine writing something else. But I couldn’t write anything else, not in the way I wanted to. My stops-and-starts were flat, my characters were shams. I collected research, put down the book, took it up again, immersed myself in warnings about fictionalizing the Holocaust. I had this imagined conversation between the twins in my head and I kept trying not to think of it. When I couldn’t help but think of it, when I had no way but write, I’d always go back to Paul Celan and Edmond Jabes with their silences and estrangements and questions. Their effort to articulate the unspeakable, to pummel and peer into a world — it drew me in and it kept me there, and I knew I’d never know or understand such pain, but I felt that those poems were teaching me something beyond language and horror, something about what it meant to bear empathy. In those moments, the book would feel worth writing, as a private, hushed endeavor. I knew I probably wouldn’t be successful but I hoped to utilize language to create characters whose voices sought to restore their humanity. I hoped that this struggle, this desperate reach for articulation, would be evident in the text, and that the prettiness that would inevitably arise in the perspectives of children would travel not in the vein of “life is beautiful beyond all suffering” but towards the question of “may my life have meaning again?”

Many of the people who influenced this book suffered in ways my own ancestors escaped. So yes, I was concerned about depicting trauma that no research can contain, about portraying suffering that can never be relentless enough, or brutality whose blows and calculations will only be blunted by words. I wanted the twins to move only in tribute to survivors, and to serve, in their commitment to family and future, as an act of remembrance. Over the years, I questioned myself more than I actually wrote, and I’ve only recently come to accept that these questions may always be with me, and maybe they need to be. Maybe living with a perpetual sense of self-interrogation is the only way that I can honor the people and stories that have given this book its reason for being.

MS: The title of the novel, Mischling, comes from the Nazi term for those of “mixed blood.” Pearl and Stasha are mistakenly believed to be mischlinge because of their blonde hair. But you’ve said that the “mischling” of the title also comes from how trauma changes one irrevocably. I was hoping you could comment more on how you decided to have the girls cope with trauma or how the trauma manifested for them — from Stasha’s medical research that she undertakes almost in defiant imitation of Mengele and her belief that he has made her immortal to Pearl’s amnesia.

AK: Trauma imposes a lot of doubles, I think. There’s the loss of who you could have been, and then there is this other, altered person. That person might be a better person, but there will always be that mystery, and maybe the only way to live with yourself becomes finding a way to love that mystery. I wanted to write girls who fortified themselves with a curiosity about who they could be beyond their suffering. For Stasha, survival is disguise, the transfiguration of horror into something that remains terrible, but bears a lesser poison. She places herself beyond the limits of mortality because without this in question, she can begin to endure. And there are times when she sees herself not as a prisoner, but a trickster, one destined to end Mengele. Pearl, the one who has always committed herself to bearing witness with such clarity — trauma for her can express itself only in a series of blanks, of black-outs and emptiness, and since she doesn’t have Stasha’s contortionist thinking, her coping tactics are different, and ultimately, more optimistic. While Stasha would insist that a dark sky isn’t dark, or even a sky at all, Pearl would say that the sky is just dark, for no good reason, but maybe, someday, it will relent.

MS: You’ve said that initial inspiration for the novel came from reading Children of the Flames. What other sources, both fictional and nonfictional, were influential in writing Mischling?

AK: I hoped that the book might carry the texture of a Yiddish folktale, a vivid sense of the childlike amid struggle, marked with moments of humor, so I revisited a lot of legends and proverbs — at one point, the book actually addressed this literature directly, through Bruna’s voice. I reread Isaac Bashevis Singer, Bruno Schulz, Isaac Babel, and Kafka regularly while in the thick of writing, and sheltered myself rather ridiculously from voices that strayed from a sort of Slavic space, because I am easily distracted.

The memoirs of Gisella Perl, a doctor in Auschwitz, and Eva Mozes Kor, who was imprisoned with her twin sister Miriam Mozes Zeiger, were invaluable. Eva Kor is an extraordinary person who inspired Pearl’s message of forgiveness — being humbled by her life, day in and out, was the only way I could write.

Sara Nomberg-Prytzyk’s memoir was also really instrumental. Her observations and details are unlike any else I’ve seen, and she captures a strange lightness within her depiction of Auschwitz.

Charlotte Saloman’s art was a site of constant return. I often looked at Jewish papercuts before writing Pearl’s voice — I wanted that delicacy, even if it was obvious only to me, in that moment of writerly processing. And for Stasha, I wanted pure stance, so I’d look at the bold, blocky lines of woodcuts.

I returned to a lot of Eastern European poets, in search of a certain playful but grim feeling: Szymborska, Simic, Popa, Herbert, Milosz, Zagajewski. People have mentioned Plath to me after reading the novel; I didn’t consciously refer to her poems, but I’m sure the influence bled through.

MS: Are you working on anything new? What comes after Mischling?

AK: After this — chaos! I tell myself that I’m in “collaging mode,” just collecting conversations, descriptions, figures. A friend said to me once that the best books are ones that feel epistolary in nature; that gives me hope about my current book, because I think my real talent is not with words, but in missing people I’ve never known, and in bearing a drive to address them. So I am concerned that what I do next still carries the urgency of a letter. I’ll admit that I see this book as The Book, so it is hard sometimes to imagine finishing another, especially since, for better or worse, I feel a bit pinned to narratives that are childlike quests for justice. But I did manage to collect other stories while deep in this one, and I’m moving back and forth between two ideas that have been with years, ones that I likely would have written off previously as being too dark and intense. While writing Mischling introduced a lot of authorial fear into my life — fear that still remains — it has definitely vanquished that particular anxiety. And I know that what I do will likely still want to peer into an aftermath, to know what it might mean to rebuild oneself.

Answer Time: Ask Us About the Writing Industry

The President and the Executive Director of the Authors Guild will answer your questions on November 14th

Attention, writers! Electric Literature is hosting a Tumblr Answer Time with Authors Guild President Roxana Robinson and Executive Director Mary Rasenberger.

Answer Time: Ask Us About the Writing Industry
Monday, November 14
Noon — 1PM EST (9–10AM PST)

Ask us here: http://electricliterature.tumblr.com/ask
(You don’t need a Tumblr account to submit!)

See the answers here: http://electricliterature.tumblr.com/tagged/answertime

As you may know, Electric Lit has partnered with the Authors Guild to launch the new Emerging Writer Membership. Now, for the first time, writers who are early in their careers can be a part of the oldest and largest professional writers’ organization in the country. As part of this exciting new opportunity, we’re hosting an Answer Time on our Tumblr for your questions about the writing industry.

The Authors Guild’s mission is to support working writers, and they advocate for the rights of writers by supporting free speech, fair contracts, and copyright. Together, Roxana and Mary will answer your questions about the Authors Guild, how to build a writing career, and how to protect your interests as a writer.

The format is simple, submit your questions here and check back on the EL Tumblr for Roxana and Mary’s responses.

In addition to being President of the Authors Guild, Roxana Robinson is the author of nine books: five novels, including Sparta and Cost; three collections of short stories; and the biography Georgia O’Keeffe: A Life.

Mary Rasenberger is the Executive Director of the Authors Guild. Prior to joining the Guild, Mary practiced law for over 25 years, specializing in media and copyright law, and served as senior policy advisor for the U.S. Copyright Office and program manager at the Library of Congress.

A Stranger Could Very Well Be a Friend You Haven’t Yet Met

Because all strong personal essays strike a compelling balance between omission and disclosure, it seems fitting to begin this review of Chloe Caldwell’s exceptional personal essay collection, I’ll Tell You in Person, with the latter. Thus, full disclosure: I feel like I know Chloe Caldwell so well — about how she used to be a serious singer, about her parents’ divorce when she was in high school, about how she sometimes babysits Cheryl Strayed’s kids — that I am one of her oldest friends and therefore should not be allowed to write this piece of criticism due to a conflict of interest. How can one be impartial toward a person of whom one has such intimate knowledge?

But the truth is, I’ve never met Caldwell. I’ve never even read her previous books — the novella, Women, and the essay collection, Legs Get Led Astray — although after finishing this, her third, I intend to do so. I only recently began following her on Twitter — where to my delight, she followed me back — because I started reading this book and tweeted a photograph of the page on which she defines the concept of “participation mystique.” Writing about her own experience of getting hooked, at the age of 18, on the personal essay genre, Caldwell says of a piece by Miki Howald, which she found in a book on her older brother’s shelf:

But how did she do that? Take something from her life and craft it into this moving piece of art that resonated even though it had nothing to do with me? I inserted myself into the words and made her experience mine. I’ve learned this notion of not knowing where you end and the artist begins, while watching films and reading books, has a term: participation mystique. The concept is closely tied to projection.

So while it would be weird and untrue to say that I know Chloe Caldwell, after reading the 12 essays in this fantastic collection, I feel as though I know Chloe Caldwell, a statement which is a testament to the power and satisfaction to be found in her utterly funny, confiding, and self-aware skill as a writer.

Caldwell’s work shares similarities with other brilliant personal essayists. Sometimes she resembles the brainy, ebullient, under-achieving party-girl Eve Babitz, as in the piece “Prime Meats” which details her job as a jewelry shop employee in Manhattan as well as a zany-but-potentially-dangerous side hustle with her friend Ana meeting men through Craigslist to get steak and scotch. “Hey sexy bros,” their ad reads:

“Who wants to buy some prime bitches some prime meats and drink obscene amounts of liquor? Let’s kick it. P.S. We’re psycho (in a fun way) and we want to give you surveys.”

Other times, like in the essay “Failing Singing,” she resembles the self-interrogating, thoughtful, slightly neurotic approach of Meghan Daum in her wonderful collection, My Misspent Youth. “‘Singing changes your brain,’ TIME magazine says. ‘When you sing, musical vibrations move through you, altering your physical and emotional landscape.’ The articles about how good singing is for you almost hurt my feelings, as though they are written to make me personally feel bad,” writes Caldwell of her disappointment in herself at having given up her talent.

At still other times, she reminds the reader of the messy, heartfelt, and hilarious poignancy of Samantha Irby in her collection, Meaty. In “The Laziest Coming Out Story You’ve Ever Heard,” for instance, Caldwell uses eight deliberately shaggy, fragmentary, bullet-pointed pages to explore with great honesty and in vivid detail the “strife, grief, extreme distress” she sometimes feels in trying to come to terms with her sexual identity (or lack thereof) as a bisexual (probably) person who dislikes (but needs) labels. As she does so, she admits in a characteristically vulnerable and clear-headed way that:

I do not consider myself a political person. I never have been. A female author — I cannot remember who — once wrote something like, ‘I’m not political in my writing, why should I be? If you look at my life, I’m political in the way I live.’ It comforted me to no end. I do not watch the news. I read a little. I’m too sensitive for it and too dumb. But when I read that, I thought, Yeah! I don’t talk about women writers needing to be read, but I wrote a book that didn’t have any men in it without even noticing. Not tooting my own horn here, expressing my naïveté.

And that’s one of the traits that makes her book so much fun to be around, and what makes it stand out as free of many of the missteps that occur in even the best memoiristic and personal writing — Caldwell’s work is impressively devoid of horn-tooting. No humble-brags, no pity-parties. Just first-rate warts-and-all human complexity.

Not to mention that all favorable comparisons aside, I’ll Tell You in Person really does feel like an original and personal encounter with a singular individual, a conversation with an old friend you’re catching up with and don’t want to stop listening to.

In “Sisterless,” the piece about watching Cheryl Strayed’s kids, she includes a scene in which she and Strayed’s young daughter, Bobbi, are in “her mom’s library looking at the books on the shelves.” Caldwell points to one of her own books and Bobbi asks her what it’s about. When Caldwell says it’s about “My life,” Bobbi grows “uncharacteristically quiet. ‘Was your life sad?’ ‘No…’ I said. She perked back up and matter-of-factly said, ‘Good!’ ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Because when people write about their life, they usually had a bad or sad life.’ ‘That’s a great observation,’ I said.” Nothing that terrible befalls Caldwell (thankfully) and she owns that many of the bad things that do arise are frequently of her own making.

Even though Caldwell examines big issues and experiences like falling in and out of love, getting and quitting jobs, and becoming addicted and un-addicted to everything from heroin to junk food, not all that much “happens” in these pieces, per se, and that’s not a problem. Her voice is so enchanting and engaging that it doesn’t matter. The book even acknowledges this relative plot-less-ness in one of its two epigraphs, the second one, from Patricia Hampl’s The Dark Art of Description, which says: “I get it. Nothin’s ever happened to you — and you write books about it.” Caldwell possesses such a masterful grasp of detail and tone that even the most banal anecdotes read like page-turners, and even the most dramatic incidents which could, in the hands of a less prudent writer, read as histrionic or self-involved, come across as sympathetic and in proportion.

Her inquiring mind, her sense of humor, and her personal responsibility make you want to listen to Caldwell all day and into the night. In “Maggie and Me: A Love Story” about her friendship with the late poet and writer Maggie Estep, Caldwell writes, “She’s had a unique and enviable past, and I want to hear everything about it.” Caldwell’s past is fascinating to that extent, too, and thanks to I’ll Tell You in Person, you can know everything about it — or at least she makes you feel like you can.

Rabih Alameddine Is Angry

Rabih Alameddine is angry — he’ll tell you that himself — but it’s a useful kind of anger. An anger that rages against the dominant narrative, whether that comes in the form of American foreign policy, societal responses to AIDS victims and the LGBT community, or contemporary MFA literary stylings. If he has a strong opinion about something, by God he’ll let it out. Holding his tongue on an issue for fear of alienating a potential reader or sacrificing a potential sale has never been high on his list of priorities, and the tremendous commercial and critical success of 2014’s An Unnecessary Woman, which was a finalist for both the National Book Award and the National Book Critics Circle Award, has done little to change that. “Fuck the reader,” he said in a recent interview, “A lot of writers say it’s about communication. It isn’t. I write for me. I write because I have something to say to me.”

If this paints a severe picture of the man, it shouldn’t. Alameddine is, as I found out recently when we sat down to chat in the lobby of Manhattan’s Walker Hotel, fantastic company. Possessing of fiery opinions, sure, but also refreshingly candid, quick to laugh, and generous in his responses. We spoke about writing as a political act, the most daring authors at work today, his time spent in Syrian refugee camps in Lebanon and Greece, and the challenges and pleasures involved in the writing of his new novel, The Angel of History — an intense, fragmented portrait of a man in emotional and psychological crisis. Set over the course of one night in the waiting room of a psychiatric clinic, the novel follows Yemeni-born poet Jacob as he revisits the events of his life, from his formative years in the Egyptian whorehouse where his mother worked, to his experiences as a gay Arab man in San Francisco at the height of AIDS. Peppered throughout are wise-cracking conversations between Satan, Death, and the fourteen Saints that have watched over Jacob throughout his tumultuous life.

Dan Sheehan: In an early restaurant scene, Jacob explodes at two young gay men, enraged at how little they appreciate the incalculable loss that the previous generation experienced. To what degree do you share Jacob’s anger at the way the memory of the worst of the AIDS years is slipping from the public consciousness, particularly amid the younger generation?

Rabih Alameddine: Quite a bit. I mean, I’m not Jacob, there are many things that are different between us, but that feeling of rage is the reason why I started the book. I remember a similar incident, but it wasn’t about somebody dying. Two very good friends invited me over for my birthday dinner and I spent the entire evening screaming at them about the ‘It Gets Better’ videos. I just lost it. And I wasn’t angry with them, I was just trying to explain why these things upset me. About an hour in to it one of them looks at me and says, “well, this is a happy birthday isn’t it” [laughs]. I realized then that I was so angry, but it took a while for me to figure out what I was angry about. I would watch the ‘It Gets Better’ videos and I would be furious that we are telling these kids that life will get better. Life didn’t get better for those of us who went through the AIDS crisis. It never got better. It got worse and worse and worse. If you’re getting beaten up now, it doesn’t get better. We would never tell a woman who has been assaulted “don’t worry, it’ll get better” but for young gay boys and girls who are getting assaulted, we do. Stuff like that was driving me crazy and I couldn’t figure out exactly why. I started getting upset about drone attacks — another thing we pretend we care about. All these people were dying and nobody was paying any attention, and I started freaking out. It took some time to understand that my rage was directed at me, because I had put everything aside for a while.

DS: Was there are a catharsis then, in the writing of this book?

RA: I don’t believe in catharsis. I’m not a big believer in the romantic idea that art can heal. What it does do is bring things to the surface, and then I go see my psychiatrist [laughs]. For a while there I was seeing him about four times a week. I jokingly once said that I see a psychiatrist to solve the problems that are exacerbated by writing. So no, it’s not a catharsis. But I suppose it depends on how you define ‘catharsis.’ Bringing these issues to the surface could be considered cathartic, but it doesn’t solve the problem.

DS: The way that the novel is broken up into so many fragments seems to resist a single, easily digestible reading. It addresses, among many other issues, the value of traumatic memory, the devastating impact of AIDS in America, US drone strikes in Yemen, and the fetishizing and dehumanizing of Arab men. Can you tell me a little bit about the significance of this expansive, mosaic approach?

RA: One of the things that happens with me is that, so far, every book I write is not just in response to the last book, but it rebellion against it. The response to the last book somewhat surprised me, I did not expect people to like it that much, and I don’t expect people to like this one that much!

DS: How fun was it to take on Satan and Death as fictional characters? Taking the baton from Milton and Bulgakov. Was it something that you’d always wanted to do?

RA: For me, it was the most fun section. Even though there were some passages that proved difficult, for the most part the interviews were the easiest to write. I’ve always been fascinated by Satan as a character. Milton is not the funniest of writers, but Bulgakov was and yet I don’t know if my character was based on that version, even though I am such a big fan. What I was more interested in was the idea of Satan not being either a good guy or a bad guy, but rather being the guy who, at the end, says “all those who say ‘no,’ follow me.” As the one who refuses to follow the dominant culture. So in my mind he became the saint of not just gay men, but of all outsiders. The guy who says ‘no.’ So it fit into the whole idea of revolution — that some of us just say ‘no.’ And that’s where the character started taking shape as someone who just likes to fuck with people. The idea of good and evil never entered the picture really.

DS: This wonderfully entertaining back-and-forth between Satan and Death — between the dredging up of painful memories and the deadening repression of those memories — is so interesting because, for me, it seems like they both have a fair point. To bury all the pain of your past is to live a sort of disconnected half-life, but to fully engage with it, especially when that past is as traumatic as Jacob’s, would be too much for most people to bear. Do you think there’s something to be gained from landing somewhere in between these two stances?

RA: Of course. If I remembered everything, I’d be dead. It’s as simple as that. I specifically remember 1996 when my last friend died and things started to get a little better because we had access to drug cocktails. It wasn’t a conscious decision to say, “oh, I’m going to forget everything,” but I did put certain things aside, and I started writing my first book, which was about the AIDS crisis. If I hadn’t put those things aside, I would not have been able to progress. I would not have become a writer. But then, if you forget everything, you end up working for Trump. Where we fall on this spectrum is what I’m interested in, and I don’t have an answer. At one point Satan says, ‘well, it’s a dance, but I’d like to lead for a while,’ and that’s basically it. For the most part we live in a culture where we are constantly encouraged to forget. We go to war and then we completely forget that we’re in a war. But if we remembered everything, we’d go insane. So it’s somewhere in between.

DS: A recent Guardian review said of Angel: “Here is a book, full of story, unrepentantly political at every level. At a time when many western writers seem to be in retreat from saying anything that could be construed as political, Alameddine says it all, shamelessly, gloriously and, realized like his Satan, in the most stylish of forms.” Do you see yourself as a heavily political writer, or is this a mantle that critics have tended to thrust upon you because you’re Lebanese-American?

RA: Well, yes, I am a political writer. I remember being asked a question on a panel — which I hate, by the way, because I find panels incredibly stupid — called ‘Political Fiction,’ or something, and why they put me in there I don’t know, because it was to discuss An Unnecessary Woman, probably my least overtly political novel. Anyway, I went into one of my…tirades, shall we call them. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I said, “what do you mean by ‘political fiction’? What fiction is not political?” The trouble with the United States is that there is this delusion that the written word can ever not be political, and that if something is political, it is somehow less than. I’ve said this one hundred times and I’ll say it again: if your country is dropping bombs in Yemen and you decide to write about a woman in Beirut who is seventy-two and doesn’t leave her house, that is a political book. If your country’s policemen are shooting unarmed black men on the street, and you write about a white couple in Minneapolis, that is a political decision. To write about the human condition is political; it’s one of the greatest political acts. Art has never been apolitical.

To write about the human condition is political; it’s one of the greatest political acts. Art has never been apolitical.

DS: So it’s just then a case of owning your politics after you’ve written them?

RA: And understanding your politics. I believe that walking down the street is a political act, we just never think of it that way. Seriously, everything is political. Now, this book is an overtly political novel in that Satan, Death and Jacob all state their political views, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Even when I write a novel about storytelling or about a woman having a nervous breakdown, I am still being political because we are political beings. The delusion is that we’re separate from all of this. We’re not.

DS: Authors are notoriously cagey when it comes to writing about sex. The specter of the Bad Sex Award seems to loom large, and even when writers do write sex scenes head on, it’s rare to find one that is integral to the plot or conveys any real emotional substance. Yet one of the most significant, and heartbreaking, moments in your novel is a graphic depiction of sadomasochistic sex with a stranger in a bondage dungeon. How do you approach writing sex scenes that are crucial to our understanding of a character’s development rather than just window dressing?

RA: I have no clue [laughs]. First off, it takes the ability to put what everyone thinks aside, and also to put what I think aside. When I wrote that chapter I seriously thought that it was going to kill the book. I mean, An Unnecessary Woman was received so well; I remember being at a festival in Adelaide where about three hundred or four hundred women came to my event and I looked out and I saw white hair everywhere and I thought I have a new audience! And then immediately afterward I thought what the hell are they going to think about that scene? [laughs]

I have this young writer friend who asked to read the book so I gave it to her in an early draft and she read it, and I wanted so badly to know what her response was, expecting her to be appalled. But she said that she loved the book, and of course my response then was ‘yes, yes, but what did you think about that scene? Were you shocked?’ and she just said ‘well, it’s not like I haven’t done some things.’ And the response from my publisher and others has also been ‘oh this is such a great scene,’ so I realized that maybe I’m still living in the 70’s and 80’s, thinking I’m being provocative, when maybe it’s all become common. We just don’t see it in contemporary fiction. We see nothing in contemporary fiction, except couples in Minneapolis.

We just don’t see it in contemporary fiction. We see nothing in contemporary fiction, except couples in Minneapolis.

DS: So who are the exceptions to that, for you? Who are the daring writers at work today?

RA: Sasha Hemon is one of my favorites. Junot Diaz for sure. I love Claudia Rankine and a number of young gay poets. I’m a big fan of that Irish boy, Colm Toibin [laughs]. He’s a close friend and one of my favorite people. It’s both about adventurousness and craft. What I like is someone who is giving me something that I haven’t seen before, and usually these are people who, even if they have gone through an MFA, they’ve somehow survived it. Most writers who go through an MFA program, for a long time their voice becomes the same. Oh they produce beautiful writing, but I hate beautiful writing.

DS: You recently spent some time in a number of Syrian refugee camps, both in Lebanon and Greece. Can you tell me a little bit about that experience?

RA: Well, I started because I was upset. There are one and a half million Syrian refugees in Lebanon and I just wanted to hear some of their stories. I wanted to talk to people. So for a while I was nothing more than a witness. And I wondered how helpful I was being, but I suppose I was helpful in the sense of ‘I’m here, I’m recording this, I’m hearing your story.’ And I don’t know how important it was for them, but I can say that it was interesting how many were willing to talk. It was only the people who were tortured who were not really willing, and I completely understand that. I had a different experience when I went to Lesbos, because I wanted to see exactly what was happening. That was traumatic, and it wasn’t just because of the refugees; it was a combination of the refugees and the disaster tourism: Volunteers, there to receive the boats, taking selfies as the boats were coming in.

Then of course I had to go through the entire process of saying, ‘well, what am I doing that is different to what they are doing?’ And one of the things that I realized is that I do it because I want to be someone who helps, and I want to be seen as someone who helps. So it’s the same thing; they’re just taking it the extra step by putting a selfie up. But it was difficult. As were other aspects. I mean, in Lebanon, for the most part, refugees integrate into society in one way or another. In Lesbos, aside from the fact that it was just a stopover, the feel of the place was more that of a prison camp. Police in riot gear, barbed wire. It’s supposed to be a safe place, but there were police in riot gear at the bottom of the hill.

DS: So there was no effort being made to give them a sense of even temporary home?

RA: Some, some effort. But again, there were police in riot gear at the bottom of the hill. How at home can you possibly feel when you’re surrounded by walls with barbed wire on top?

Everything Is Everything in Everything Is Teeth

British novelist Evie Wyld is a rising star in the literary world. In 2010, The Daily Telegraph recognized Wyld as one of the twenty best British authors under the age of 40, and in 2013, Granta included Wyld on its list of the Best of Young British Novelists. To American readers, she is perhaps best known for her acclaimed 2014 novel, All the Birds, Singing, about a lonely farmer living on a British island. Now, she forges new ground in her most recent book, a graphic memoir titled Everything is Teeth.

Everything is Teeth is strange, but its uniqueness is one of the memoir’s greatest assets. This is a book that isn’t afraid to be what it is, which is a meditation on childhood obsession and anxiety.

The story begins with Wyld as a six-year-old girl recalling her family vacations to Australia. Wyld recounts stories her uncle would tell her about the nearby shark-infested waters. He warned her of their dangers and told her, “As a kid the safest thing to do when a shark comes is to float, pretend to be dead.” These are words that her childhood will never shake.

Wyld’s interest in sharks increases after her brother receives a shark’s jaw for a Christmas gift. When she is alone, she visits the fossilized mouth while wearing a pair of boxing gloves and rubs the impressively sharp teeth. She only becomes more curious in the underwater predator. She finds a book about famed shark-attack survivor Rodney Fox, and Wyld falls “in love.” But, in her newfound love, she also uncovers a deep fear that will paralyze her youth.

While bathing, she watches the bubbles, hoping not to spot a shark in the bathtub. She fears flying because the plane might crash into the shark-plagued ocean below. Sharks and the anxiety they bring become a very real part of her world:

“It’s important to be on the bed or sofa — you can’t have your legs dangling like chum. It’s too easy to imagine the sofa is a raft.”

“I make up stories about myself and my schoolmates getting attacked by sharks.”

Wyld’s obsession isn’t always a bad thing, though, as she demonstrates in a handful of brief sections dealing with her brother. At school, he’s bullied badly, and her stories about sharks are his comfort. “Talk to me, my head’s gone strange,” he requests. When Wyld ventures into tales not related to sharks, he tells her to “stick to shark stories.”

So much of Everything is Teeth relies on the physicality of the shark, but the shark functions on a metaphorical level just as much. The shark is a predator, and Wyld fears all of the dominant forces around her. She fears the bullies who mistreat her brother. She fears the adult world that is approaching. She fears the otherness that her father possesses in his manners of behavior and ways of dress.

Wyld writes in such a lyrical prose that oftentimes Everything is Teeth has a poetic feeling to it. Joe Sumner’s gorgeous illustrations add a nice layer of beauty to the already fragile story. He employs a delicate, (mostly) monochromatic color scheme for much of the book; however, when intensity builds and the text explodes, he incorporates vibrant reds and photorealistic elements. Sumner’s additions create a rather magical landscape — one that’s easy to get lost inside.

Everything is Teeth is a short graphic memoir, but it packs the emotional punch of something twice its size. For readers craving something a little quirky, go ahead and take a bite out of Evie Wyld and Joe Sumner’s collaborative effort.